[Isabell]

I highly suggest that if you’ve been in a relationship for less than a year or if you hardly ever give punishments that a conversation take place before punishment is decided. This way all parties can know; what was done wrong, what should have been done, will there be a punishment or discipline and what the punishment/discipline will be. This way every one is on the same page. (I have problems with Masters that give punishments without a good reason.) By having the discussion, the sub/slave will know where she/he went wrong in the requested task and how to do better the next time a similar task is given. This also gives the sub/slave a chance to tell their side of the story and see if there was a good reason to not perform the given task. It’s supposed to be a system of checks and balances. If, the sub/slave has a good reason then punishment may not happen or it may be lessened from what the Master/Mistress originally thought about doing. The sub/slave may still think that they do not deserve the punishment/discipline, but they will have a better understanding as to why they are receiving it as well as how to perform better the next time.

As Merlin has pointed out this is a learning experience for the Master/Mistress as well as the sub/slave. Both parties will make mistakes, remember even though you are in control of someone else you are still human. It's not all about the physical contact, there is a responsibility to keep your sub/slave mental healthy as well.

Merlin, thank you for sharing your experince and showing that every one will make mistakes in the relationship.