[Diane]

Firstly, find a convenience store near your house. Look for the staff working there and ask them for the weirdest brand name they have there.

Using the name given to you, count the total of numbers of letters there. The numbers will determine the duration you are to wear the same underwear.

If the total number of letters is lesser than or equal to 3, the duration will be months. (I.e. Brand name: ABD. It will be 3 months.)

If the total number of letters lies is between 4 and 11, the duration will be weeks.

If the total number of letters exceed 11, the duration will be days.

The total number of vowels found in the name will decide the number of liquid food you need to pour in your underwear everyday until the time frame ends. (You must not use the same food you used before.)

If the brand name given to you have digits, multiply both the duration and quantity of food you need to pour in your underwear by the sum of all digits. (I.e. Brand name: 2a3l. It will be 20 (4 x 5) weeks and 5 (a x 5) foods in underwear.

The total number of letters will also mean the number of time you have to orgasm in your underwear everyday.

Once again, sorry about the font.