[ksoma]

peel and freeze a banana.
masturbate with the banana once frozen, and then leave it inside you until it has thawed, before you remove it, and eat it.

Run some nipple clamps under water and then place them in the freezer also. Before you masturbate, take the frozen clamps, and open them (this will break ice on the hinge, but the clamp should still be COLD), and clamp your nipples.

And yes, a report please.