Quote:
Originally Posted by Obedient_Calf
ignore the poor, fakes, wannabes, careless and out right unprofessional Doms out there.
Rather than haplessly trying to change the outlook and views of a 1000 Doms, just change yours
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This is pretty much what I wanted to say (just much shorter and more to the point).
When reading your (*Bite-Sized*) original post... I'm torn.
Of course I agree that probably 99% of the answers you get after putting up an ad are total bullshit (one way or the other). I also agree that it "isn't fair" when people start insulting you because you didn't answer yet or because you didn't choose them. And yes, behavior like that probably scared some serious former "slaves" away, which is a bad thing.
On the other hand: everyone is responsible for themselves and some common sense doesn't hurt.
It sucks that there are so many ignorant wannabe-doms, yes, but even after just skimming through the forums here (or just the section with the ads), one should already know what kind of responses to expect after putting up an ad (especially if you're female and offer pictures) - and to speak frankly, why bother with the dumbasses in the first place? If someone sends you offensive messages, a set of rules without even talking to you first or is in any other way acting in a way you don't feel comfortable with, just put them on your ignore list (and/or report them to a moderator if they're insulting/threatening you) and that's that. Move on to people who actually deserve your time.
Putting up a thread here won't change the situation one bit, because the people you are talking about won't read it. They're probably even newer to the whole bdsm thingy then you are and they're probably a lot less serious about it than you are, too. They're just looking for some fapmaterial, not a relationship of any kind (and certainly not for one as complicated and time-consuming as a real d/s relationship).
And as far as the "it took me at least 2 days to find out there was a thing called A SAFE WORD"-part goes: okay, you're new, you don't even know yet if this whole thing is for you and so on - I understand that. But seriously: just reading the first two paragraphs of the wikipedia-article about BDSM (and pretty much every other site on the net that deals with BDSM in some way, wikipedia is not the greatest of sources out there) would've told you what a safeword is. A sticky thread in the ad-section here on the forums (
LilAngel's Guide to BDSM [updated regularly]) explains it as well (along with a lot of other stuff that might be interesting, especially if you're new).
It's never wrong to try and get familiar with the basics of something on your own first and in this case it's really easy, too.
I don't want to sound like an asshole here, but, well. If someone dared you to swallow some razorblades or to jump in front of the next truck that drives by, you wouldn't do it and then complain that they didn't tell you about the risks, would you?
Try to inform yourself first and if you're not comfortable with something someone asks from you, just say no or take your time to think it through. On the internet, you're
always in control. Just pull the plug if it gets too much.