[lilith_]

Advice to new Doms

- Talk to subs the same way you talk to anyone else. It's very important to remember that just because someone is submissive, they are not YOUR sub and they should be respected and treated kindly.

- Don't hide behind your screen! Talk to people online the same way you'd talk to them offline. Showing your penis to a random person irl would most likely make you a sex offender, online is NO different.

- Not everyone likes name calling and not every sub identifies as a "slut". Don't call people those things unless you have first asked them if it is okay.

- Think before giving a dare. Does it involve clueless people whose consent is violated? (using their underwear, belongings, clothes, been seen by vanilla - or not - people who have no desire of seeing you, etc..) Is it dangerous? (tying up balls tighty for too long for example can be dangerous) is it illegal?

- You should not forget that a D/s relationship is a RELATIONSHIP. You need to care for your submissive and not use BDSM as an excuse to act out on your sadistic (but asshole) impulses.

- Remember! Wanting to hurt another person (consensually, in a BDSM scene) does NOT make you a bad person!

- Relationships take time to form. Just like a vanilla relationship can't happen in a day, a BDSM relationship is no different. In fact it needs much more time for it to grow and you shouldn't dive into it too fast and rush into things. Take your time to get to know your partner. Strong feelings of friendship and love make it much easier to trust and there's nothing more wonderful than a strong, trusting BDSM relationship.

- Don't be afraid to open up or seem weak. You might be a Dom but you're still a person with feelings, insecurities and fears. Talking about it with your sub doesn't make you any less of a Dom and it makes your relationship stronger. Doms cry too!

- This is a bit controversial but personally I think it is very wrong to hide your online and/or kinky side from your clueless vanilla partners.

I might edit this and update it if I think of more :P