Answer each question with how long it's been since you've done that particular thing. Be a specific as you can, but put down your best guess if you can't really remember. Answer "never" if you have to.
age? sex? location?
37 / M / Netherlands
1. How long has it been since you've masturbated?
half an hour
2. How long has it been since you've had an orgasm?
10 days (see my signature)
3. How long has it been since you've had sex?
Never 
4. How long has it been since someone has seen you naked in real life?
1,5 years
5. How long has it been since sent a naked picture of yourself to someone?
1 week (to Miss Butterfly and Miss Icey)
6. How long has it been since you've been naked outdoors?
2 years (on a deserted beach)
7. How long has it been since you've saved or trimmed your pubes?
yesterday, but just my balls which I like to keep smooth
8. How long has it been since you've sucked a dick?
Never. Probably will stay never.
9. How long has it been since you've tasted cum?
Not sure, I think end of last year I had to eat my own cum after orgasm
10. How long has it been since you've bought new underwear?
About 3 months I think. It was actually female panties that I had to buy.
11. How long has it been since you've taken a shower?
Almost 24 hours. I am about to take one now.
12. How long has it been since you've slept naked?
2 hours. I slept naked last night.