[alli55]

The sleepover that changed my life


Chapter 20 Friends in need


My heart stopped. A sense of panic gripped me. What? What was this “very bad news” that my Mum had got?

“There’s been a car crash,” she began, falteringly, her voice wavering, “a very bad car crash. And, oh I’m so sorry Megan, but Paige has been killed.”

No! No-oo!

I bawled and bawled and bawled.

My Mum held me tight and cuddled me, as she also cried.

My Paige! My perfect, darling, little Paige! How could she be dead? Oh, God!

I cried until there were no tears left in me. Then I just sat there, completely numb with pain. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of me and torn into a thousand pieces.

“I can’t Mum,” I said through the sobs, “I can’t!”

“You can’t what, dear?” she asked gently.

“I can’t live without her!”

She held me even more tightly. “I know, darling!” she said.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t see any future. Not now. Paige was dead and my life had ended.

The next few days I wouldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep. At first I tried, but every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Paige, screaming in terrible pain. So then I didn’t want to close them, I forced myself to stay awake.

On the Monday afternoon the doorbell rang and I heard my Mum talking with a man. Shortly afterwards she came up to my room, carrying a parcel covered in pink wrapping paper.

“Megan, that was Paige’s granddad,” she said. “They found this parcel in Paige’s room and it’s got your name on it. I’ll put it on your table and you can open it when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” I said, “thanks.”

Once my Mum had left, I picked up the parcel and looked at it. There was a label stuck on it that said To Megan, with all my love always, Paige xxx. That set me off crying again, so I put the parcel back and flung myself onto my bed, pressing my face into the pillow.

It was hours later, in the middle of the night, when curiosity got the better of me and I finally dared to pick up the parcel again. I began, very slowly, to pick at the sellotape holding the ends of the parcel closed. I didn’t want to damage the wrapping paper in any way, so I picked away until I had prised the tape off. Then I carefully opened the wrapping paper up to reveal a blue plastic box, the type that jewellery comes in when you buy it. I opened this box. Inside was a silver locket on a chain. The locket was in the shape of a heart and it had the words I love you engraved on it with a smaller gold heart that seemed to shimmer when I tilted the box.

I bet that was what Paige had been doing on Saturday. The thing she “absolutely had to do.”

I shut the box, and cried my eyes out once more.

Abi arrived back on the Wednesday, and was straight round to my house. I knew it was her as soon as my Mum answered the door and Abi said “hello”. I listened as they talked, but couldn’t really make out what was being said. Then they began to come up the stairs and the conversation became clearer.

“I don’t know,” my Mum was saying, “she’s taken it very hard. I’m really worried about her!”

“I want to help, if I can,” Abi said.

“I hope you can,” my Mum told her, “but I’m not sure she’ll even want to see you. I’ll let her know you’re here and ask her if you can come in.”

There was a knock on my door.

“Megan,” came my Mum’s voice, “Abi’s here and she really wants to see you. Is it okay if she comes in?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. I really didn’t. I couldn’t see how anyone could do anything or say anything that would make me want to go on living. But I knew Abi would want to help me and comfort me, and I knew that if I pushed her away she would be even more upset, and I didn’t want that.

“Please, Megs,” Abi called out, her voice giving away how distressed she was.

I wanted to reach out and hold her to me, so I said, “Okay,” as the tears began to well up once more.

By the time Abi came in, I was bawling again. She saw me and burst into tears as well. The two of us just sat on my bed, crying onto each other’s shoulders.

When the tears finally stopped flowing, Abi looked at me with red, puffy eyes.

“Oh God, Megs,” she said, “I can’t believe it!”

“I know,” I said. “Oh Abi, it’s killing me!”

She held me to her. “I don’t know what to say, Megs.”

“She loved me, Abi,” I wailed. “She told me on holiday, she loved me and I didn’t realise it. I must have hurt her so badly.”

“No, Megs,” she told me, “you can’t think like that! You can’t do anything about whether you have feelings for someone or not. That’s not how it works.”

“But I did love her,” I said, “I did, I just didn’t know it.”

“You’re just feeling guilty,” she said.

“No, you don’t understand,” I told her. “On holiday I finally realised how much I loved her. When I told her, she said I had made her the happiest girl in the world. I left it too late, Abi. And it’s killing me!”

“Oh, Megs, you can’t beat yourself up about this! I won’t let you! I love you too much to let that happen.”

“But it’s true,” I insisted.

“Well, then,” Abi said, “hold on to what she said! When she died, she was the happiest girl in the world, because of you. Hold on to that! Promise me!”

“I’ll try,” I promised.

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Abi was my rock over the next few months.

The pain in my heart didn’t go away, but gradually it got a little bit easier to cope with. I found I could distract myself by putting more and more time into my schoolwork. For most of Year 11, apart from spending time with Abi, I didn’t really have a social life.

But, then, without Paige, I didn’t really want one.

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Abi wasn’t as academic as me at the best of times, and as Year 11 went on she began to get more and more into boys. Into one boy in particular: Daniel, who was one of the class clowns, loved by the pupils who didn’t really want to work and hated by the teachers and those pupils to whom learning was important.

I didn’t like Daniel. I thought he was self-centred and uncaring. Abi could do a lot better than him, and I told her so.

But she was infatuated and pursued her quarry with her usual determination. Eventually her persistence paid off.

“I’ve finally got a date with Dan,” she told me, triumphantly, after school one day, “tomorrow at seven.”

“I knew you’d get him in the end!” I said, laughing. “Where’s he taking you?”

“I’m meeting him by the swings in the park,” she said.

That seemed a strange place for a date! But then, what did I know?

“Well don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” I jokingly warned her.

“God, Megs,” she laughed, “that doesn’t leave me with much!”

I playfully poked her in the ribs.

All that evening, while I was revising, I had an uncomfortable feeling about Abi’s date. Something about it didn’t seem right. I didn’t know what, but there was something that was making me feel on edge. But I knew I couldn’t say anything to Abi.

It was still bothering me as I lay in bed that night, trying to get to sleep. From nowhere, something that Ryan had told me the morning after Abi’s sleepover jumped into my head: “you’re tough … stand up to anyone who tries to hurt you and show them how tough you are.” I didn’t really think I was tough, but I knew that I couldn’t leave it and do nothing. So I hatched a plan.

The next evening, I set off for the park just after six. I needed to make sure I was there well before Abi was due to meet Daniel.

There was only one entrance to the park, so I knew they would have to come in that way. Nearby were some large bushes, and I was pretty certain I could squeeze into them and watch the entrance without anyone knowing I was there. I hadn’t banked on them being quite as prickly as they were, but nevertheless I got myself in place by half-six.

About 20 minutes later, I saw Daniel coming through the park gate with his friend, Liam.

That was odd! Why would you bring your friend with you on a date?

If I didn’t like Daniel, and I didn’t, then I positively detested Liam. He was one of those arrogant boastful types. According to him he’d shagged half the girls in our year. He was also a bully. The younger boys feared him.

I was now sure there was something wrong about this whole thing.

I watched Daniel and Liam wander off down the path towards the swings until they disappeared from view. Then I turned my attention back to the entrance.

After another 20 minutes or so, I saw Abi. Fashionably late, I thought. She was dolled up to the nines, really out to make a big impression. She looked quite good, though she’d been a bit too heavy with the make-up in my opinion. She, like me, was better suited to a more natural look.

She, too, walked off in the direction of the swings and soon disappeared from my sight. I extricated myself from the bushes, cursing the prickles, and moved to stage two of my plan.

There was a small path that dog walkers used that ran behind the bushes to the duck pond. It always stayed the opposite side of bushes and trees to the main path, so there was no danger of anyone there seeing me. But just about where the swings were, there was another little cut-through that no-one really used, but that dogs ran through just enough to keep it visible. By creeping along that cut-through I would be able to get close enough to where the swings were to at least hear what was happening, even if I wouldn’t be able to see.

Just after I had turned onto this little cut-through I saw that some uncaring lout had fly-tipped a load of rubbish. Lovely! I passed on by and came to the spot where I planned to check out what was happening. I stopped and listened.

Abi had obviously been taken aback by Liam’s presence.

“I don’t understand, Dan,” I heard her say, “I thought we were going to be together. Just the two of us.”

“Sorry, babe,” he said, “I just bumped into Liam on the way, you know.”

Babe? Ugh! Sick-making!

“I’m really disappointed!” Abi said.

“We can still …” began Daniel.

“Not with him here we can’t!” Abi informed him.

“Oh, you know you want to!” it was Liam’s voice speaking.

“Get lost!” replied Abi.

“Don’t be like that, babe!” Daniel said. “You know I really like you, don’t you?”

“Yeah?” asked Abi.

“Yeah,” Daniel told her, “you’re my number one girl!”

God, what a charmer!

“We can just go over there,” I heard Daniel say. “Liam can stay here and keep watch.”

Go over where? Crap! They weren’t coming my way, were they? And why was Liam going to keep watch?

There was silence for a bit, then Abi spoke with anger and a hint of fear in her voice.

“Shit, Dan, what d’you think you’re doing?”

“It’s what you wanted!” Daniel said.

“It fucking isn’t!” she told him, in no uncertain manner.

“She does really!” I heard Liam say.

“Fuck off!” said Abi, sounding panicky.

“Go on mate,” Liam said, obviously to Daniel, “I’ll hold her still!”

Oh my God! Abi was in trouble, that much was obvious!

“Fucking get the fuck off me!” I heard her yell, before her voice became muffled.

I had to do something, quick! But what?