Thanks for the help I'll be sure to split it up a bit more, when I looked at it after posting it did look rather bleak. I will also be sure to add colours to try and make it look more appealing.
As for the speech and thoughts I will be sure to add more details. I feel like trying to find a way to begin is a very hard task but now that it's out of the way I'll be sure to beef up the chapters as I start to introduce characters going forward as I move into the more erotic situations.
Thank you so much for the pointers, I will be sure to try and implement them in future chapters.
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