Quote:
Originally Posted by Sub.lucy
I did 75 minutes...
How did you experience your corner time?
It was hard... I have done it before, sometimes an hour, sometimes even 90 minutes, as a punishment.
This time, it wasn't a punishment of course. Sir told me this afternoon that he was very proud of me and that I would have to be proud. To stop thinking and just do as he says. Still, I felt a lot of apprehension before starting. I had inspiration for drawings I want to make, and it hit me that I wasn't going to be doing that. I was going to spend a good portion of my free evening in the corner.
Sometimes after I'm done, I feel refreshed, relaxed, empty of thoughts and worries. This time, I had no worries, but just so many ideas spinning through my head. It was hard to stop that. Now that I'm done, they're back in full force.
I did put on some white noise; a wind and raindrops track on YouTube. This helped drown out distracting noises.
What were your thoughts at the beginning of your corner time?
I actually cried, when I had to start. I felt so ridiculous, but I couldn't stop it. I felt like a little child, nose to the wall, pants down, tears on my cheeks. I though it was better to just accept the tears and let them flow. I told myself, my project would also be fine if I started on it an hour later.
After about 20 minutes, my breathing began to relax. My body felt less tense. The thoughts seemed to at least slow down a little. I told myself to be proud like Sir said.
What were your thoughts at the middle of your corner time
I drifted off a little. I have no idea when or how long, but I was more relaxed at last. It may have been quite a while. The physical discomforts did begin to distract me though. My feet started to hurt, my shoulders began to get stiff, I had to stop myself from overextending my knees. Even my nose touching the wall became annoying.
What were your thoughts at the end of your corner time?
I had to put my hands in front of my body because my right shoulder started to ache badly (I dislocated it a few years ago, and it can still be a bit sore). I leaned my forehead against the wall to prevent my nose from becoming stuck in a perpetually upward position. My neck went very stiff. I began to fidget again. Thoughts came back. All those little things prevented me from drifting off.
I kept repeating: I am just property, my owner wants me to do this. I am doing this for him. It helped me cope with the last, maybe, half hour. Then, finally, the alarm! Done.
I am proud to have done it. I hope I have made you proud as well Sir.
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Thanks, you did well.
Before I comment I want to explain a bit about the cornertime we do. Cornertime is a big like of me, but also of my pet.
"like-cornertime" is about 30 minutes for my pet. She normally gets such time 1 or 2 times per week. When my pet gets a "like-cornertime" I am present for the whole time. My pet does not use a timer but just trusts me to release her by a beep on the chat. Doing cornertime like this is very hot, it allows her to feel very submissive since she has to trust me to release her. These relative short times allow for a winddown, feeling the safe presence of her sir.
Next to "like-cornertime" she als has "dislike-cornertime". "dislike-cornertime" normally is over an hour. She once did 1.5 hour for a real serious misbehaviour. During "dislike-cornertime" I am normally not present. She has to do it completely on her own. It is a punishement.
This Cornertime was special because it had the duration of a "dislike-cornertime" but it was not a punishment. I did not want my pet to feel it as a punishment because that is not what it was. At the same time I also had decided that I would not be present during her cornertime and that we would chat only AFTER she had published her report. The reason for this was that I wanted my pet to do a fair contribution to this thread. None of the others is doing cornertime under the safe life presence of a sir so it would not have been fair to provide my pet with such gesture.
In order not to feel the cornertime as a punsihment I did chat a lot with my pet in the days before. I did assure her that I was very proud she was going for it. I also explained that although I had set her up for her contribution she still was doing it because she wanted. It's strange,... but true. Finally I did send her a mail with things to think about during her cornertime just a few minutes before her start.
None of you is getting such support, but I wanted my pet to have this. 75 minutes is fricking long. It had to be a pleasurable act of submission,.. not a punishment.
So,.. this is indeed a little gesture my pet got and the others don't.
my pet did 75 minutes.. It's fricking long. I'm pretty sure the thread will go to longer times and my pet will likely not rejoin. Just like others who contributed earlier will not rejoin from some point. I consider that OK. I really like the longer times that are following now. It's hot. But at the same time I clearly see that all so far have challenged themselves by driving for a new personal record. I really appreciate that.
yes,.. cornertime is a big like of me. It's great to see how all of you are streching your limits. I am real curious to see how far this thread will go.
On my pets time.
Actually I like that you cried. Getting you to crying is a like of me. I understand it. You could have done such nice things... but you needed to do cornertime. First half of the evening would be spoiled on the cornertime, second half would likely get lost on recovery. You were doing it because you were submissive. Clearly a moment that you hated your submissiveness.
Then the middle part. still difficult. No sir present,.. doing time not as a punishment was difficult to accept. Difficult to accept that you were doing seriously long time for no reason. It's sad that you got physical discomfort. I like the boredom that goes with really long cornertime but I see physical discomfort as as spoiler of that.
The final stage luckily was how it should be. You refound your feelings of submission. You experienced them,.. they got deeper. I am really touched by it. I feel to be your owner, I feel i care for you. It's really hot you were able to reach this state at the end.
All together,.. sure i am proud.. proud as hell.. you did 75minutes... just to pleasure me... it's great.
75 minutes done... and strangely.... 80, 85 and 90 miuntes already reserved. It's amazing.