1. Have you ever peed your pants in school?
Not that i can remember
2. Have you ever ACCIDENTALLY peed yourself as an adult?
No i have not, which is nice
3. Have you ever been caught naked by your parent(s)/child(ren)?
No, but that's because i've not spent much time at home for along time.
4. Have you ever caught your parent(s) naked?
Not really in a way that would count i think
5. Have you ever had your sexuality or kink outed to a family member?
Nope, luckily
6. Have you ever had sex with someone, only to learn you were related?
Nope, is this a thing that actually happens to people and not just in weird newspapers?
7. Have you ever had sex with someone, only to learn they were married?
Nope, but i have had sex with someone and then learned they were in a relationship
8. Have you ever been caught having sex or masturbating by your parent(s)/child(ren)?
Again nope, i was always too clever/aware to be caught
9. Have you ever caught your parent(s)/child(ren) having sex?
No, thank god
10. Have you ever been caught farting in a public (polite) area?
Another no, i can control myself
11. Have you ever had an upset stomach on a date that ended in diarrhea, gas, or vomiting?
Luckily no, this would be horrible
12. Have you ever been called out for having smelly gas?
Yes, but even then i've never admited to it only shifting the blame onwards
13. Have you ever had a credit card declined and/or had to endure the "Walk of Shame" while returning your items because you can't buy them?
Luckily no, due to be rather frugal
14. Have you ever fallen down a flight of stairs in the company of others?
Yes, far too many times. I can be rather distracted and clumsy which is painful
15. Have you ever sent an AWFUL drunk text, or drunk-dialed someone?
Oh god yes... far far too many times.... always ALWAYS a bad idea
16. Have you ever been caught talking behind someone's back, by the person you're talking about?
Not really because i tend to not talk behind people's back. If i have a problem i'll confront them straight up
16. Have you ever accidentally sent a scathing text message about someone to the person it's about?
Haha, no i hvn't but i can imagine it happening easily
17. Have you ever accidentally sent a "sext message" to an unintended contact?
Nope, i don't have too many concurrent conversations to get confused like that
18. Have you ever clogged a toilet after pooping?
Hehehehe, yep. And i ran for the hills
19. If you experience periods, have you ever bled through your clothes?
n/a
20. If you died right now, what would be the most embarrassing thing someone would find in your house?
My internet search history of course!
21. Are there any unwanted nude photos of you floating around the internet?
Nope, if i take a nude it's wanted 
22. Have you ever fallen prey to an internet scam?
No, i'm not a moron
23. Have you ever made an idiot of yourself in front of a crush?
I make an idiot of myself in front of most people... so yes, a lot
24. Have you ever argued with an authority figure only to find out you were VERY wrong?
To the extent i was kicked out of class and not allowed back for litteral weeks
25. Have you ever been in jail?
Monopoly
26. Have you ever come to the realization that you've been walking around with your pants zipper down, or with a hole in your pants?
Yes, but style it out as if it's totally normal
27. Have you ever accidentally walked in on someone in the bathroom?
Yes, and they should damn well learn to lock the flipping door!
28. Have you ever accidentally told someone you loved them?
Yes, when i thought they were drunk but they were tricking me. We dated for a few months though, so i guess it worked
29. Have you ever accidentally called someone mom or dad?
No freudian slips over here
30. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Who hasn't? I can always be a bad boy
31. Have you ever had a crush on/fantasized about a cartoon character?
Betty Boop, Turunga Leela, Amy Wong, Jessica Rabbit and Lola Bunny. Need more be said? I'm only human damnit
32. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant only to find out the bill was WAY more than you could pay?
No, as said earlier i'm very good with money and awarness of cost. It's learnt from being broke for a long period.
33. Have you ever spilled drink or food at a restaurant?
Yep, i'm a normal human. Own up to it and style it out
34. Have you ever been denied a kiss on a first date?
No, because usually i'm too clueless or nervous to make a move so i don't get denied.
35. Have you ever been caught trying to cheat, scam, or steal?
Nope, i'm a smooth criminal
36. Have you ever set off a store alarm while trying to exit?
Yes, but only ever when i've paid for the items and it's still gone off. Never when stealing.
37. Do you get zits in noticeable places?
I'm a human, so yes it happens and yes it sucks
38. Have you ever had your pubic hair get snagged by your clothes?
Jesus christ that hurts
39. Have you ever gotten a REALLY bad itch on your genitals while in public, so you couldn't scratch it?
No, because if it's that bad i will scratch it.
40. Have you ever finished on the toilet only to find out that there's no more toilet paper, then have to do the "Walk of Shame" to the closet (or, if in a public bathroom, to the next stall) to find some?
Goddamnit too many times to be funny, people are animals and need to be courteous of the next user