[Wedgiebondagebabe]

So a couple things...

Spanking during sex and not any other time: It might be that it helps her when having sex. Spanking without the distraction or pleasure of sex may be off putting for her. Also spanking with say your hand during sex, I can imagine feels differently than if I was just put over someones knee as a punishment for example. So with that as an example, there are many things that have different contexts.

Did you ever consider that by going down on her, she feels she has to turn around and give you head? That might be part of her defense. She might feel guilty if you go down on her and she doesn't do the same. She might be shy about herself and in the end there is nothing you can really do to change that besides supporting her and complimenting her, because she has to see her self worth and beauty before she will believe you. An idea might be, buy her a simple tiny vibrator and let her know its for whenever she wants to play around and see what she likes and that you will never interrupt her private time unless she wants you to. It might get her more comfortable with her vagina and herself.

You say you already know the fight is going to end in an argument, but you love her. It is not healthy to fight about the same topic. It is not healthy to be pushing aside your desires for her all the time. In fact it might make her feel like more of a burden instead of being something for her. Whether you choose to accept the reality of it or not, MasterMichaelNY is correct. If it is not working, you need to make the mature choice to talk to her about it or you need to decide if the relationship is worth it. You might love her and want her happiness, but it is not worth torturing yourself.

Argument or not, you need to talk to her. Before you talk to her though set up some I care about you and didnt want to fight but we needed to talk surprises for when she's sad. This could be as simple as her favorite ice cream in the freezer, chocolate on her pillow, even a coupon for one night of you sleeping on the couch (depending if you live together or not). That is a way to acknowledge one of the worse case scenarios for the situation, but letting her know you still care. Secondly, as hard as it is in an argument, let her yell and scream and get angry, but keep calm and relaxed and let her know you just want to know how to make her happy. Know when to back away. As a girl (I am saying it because I am one and stereotypically I see this all the time) we will drag you back into an argument, we will try to make you feel bad, and we will make carefully calculated moves to hurt you in as many ways as possible. We do not often mean it, we are just angry so we choose to find ways to hurt you. Just stay calm and know that she's going to be a storm before she can calm down sometimes, but also do not push her in a discussion if you can avoid it. If you feel an argument coming on, then stop or redirect the conversation. If you want to make it work, you have to communicate her and you cannot avoid this conversation.