[AbusiveMaster]

Taking aside the way the opening post was worded - I think we all know now it wasnt what he intended to say - this seems to be actually an interesting topic, if I am reading it correctly.

It seems to me that we have a situation where both you and your girlfriend enjoy your sex life, but she is sometimes reluctant to do certain things. The question though that springs to my mind is "Why?"

I am not party to all the details of your relationship, and am basing my speculations on very limited material sifted from your posts. They may be entirely wrong, but they might give you a starting place to think on things.

My first worry is that discussions on sex lead to arguments. It is possible that she feels you are pressuring her, which is not a good situation to be in. It doesnt matter whether you are or arent, whether you mean to or not. Look at how you communicate.

Another point I am taking from your posts is she seems to be lacking in self confidence. Some reassurance goes a long way. Let her know you are very very happy with things as they are now. Let her know that you enjoy your sex life. Let her know that yes, you want to try new things, but you want to do it together, as a couple, when she wants to.

It isn't particularly nice to feel that you "arent doing it right" or "arent doing enough." Again, I am not suggesting you do this deliberately, but that it is possible you make her feel this way without meaning to. When people get defensive, it is generally because they feel attacked in some way.

My advice is to relax, to reassure, to not make this a source of pressure. In time, with love and trust, you will explore a lot, I am sure. But why the hurry? Let her know you love her. Make her know you want her, make sure she knows she is the best you have ever had WITHOUT adding anything else into your love life. Then, if it happens, it is something you can both enjoy.