[slaveboy28]

Dear Getdare users,

You may have wondered why there has been such a long break after my last blog update. The answer is hard to admit but I think it needs to be said and I can only put it directly. I fucked up. Big time. But as hard as such public admission of guilt is, my mistake was incomparable to it.

Before explaining what I did I would like you to read this update not at as a post about me, but about my Master who offered me another chance and for this chance I am extremely grateful. He also once again proved to me what a great and understandable person he is and I feel great sorrow that I abused his trust and put him in a very difficult position. I am also not searching for excuses. Yes, my mind was completely fucked up, I had a bad brain and I was extremely emotional, but I should still take one more step, try to calm down and first and most of all talk. Communicate. This was, is and will be the only way.

I really fucked up and so nearly lost my Master, because I was so stupid and so deserve to be punished in any way my Master see's fit, because now I realise how much I need him.

Not being able to offer my Master what was justifiably expected of me, but also by not doing this, feeling and fearing there is no more pleasure I can bring to my Master I decided to leave. I even sent him my last blog.

I was also giving up something that really filled my life with both pleasure and pain(-ful pleasure), helped me realise so much about myself and who I am. Helped me discover something I have never before experienced. And I think the best example of explaining this is the fact that even after sending him my last blog I continued with my routine. I had too. I just could not completely close this chapter, at least not before I could go through the punishment for my previous offence. And I wore diapers on Tuesday and Saturday even at work - this time feeling not only what I already described but also a great pain and shame for my stupid, bitchy (re)actions. And I still feel I deserved those feelings. There is nothing to be proud of what I did.

I fucked up completely, as you can see. And the worst part is, like I wrote in an apology to Sir, that I did something so horrible by shutting the door to communication too soon. I turned my back to something what stands at a core of this relationship. And by doing this I not only behaved in a nasty manner but also caused great pain to my Master who was more than generous with me from the start.

But my Master, after all I have done, offered me another chance. Is there even a way to describe the feelings of happiness for being offered so much? You can not believe what this means to me. After two days of crying (yes I cried when I was writing my last blog, when I was writing to him, to Sir), of being completely ruined by what I did, he offered me another chance. What a person he is. Only the strongest men can do this after being let down. And I would like to once again thank him for this. Publicly and openly.

Thank you Sir for giving me this chance which for me, like I wrote already, presents foremost a great responsibility. To try harder, to be more open, to talk.

Sorry for the short update, a longer update will be posted very soon.

boy A.