[slaveboy28]

Dear readers,

last few days of my journey into slavery were emotionally very intense. There were so many new things for me and the slavery reaffirmation became a vital part of my daily routine. It focuses my mind and helps me process my feelings, fears and doubts. Not all as you will see. But let us go step by the step.
First an update on the gear I bought. “You chose well on your collar and flogger”, said my Master and decided it is time for me to try them both. And I did.
I always considered wearing a collar to be very humiliating, but when I put it on for the first time I felt good. It is hard to describe the feeling; I became even more aware of my nakedness, my submissive status but at the same time protected and closer to Sir. A constant reminder of my role, my duties and responsibilities.
Feeling the flogger for the first time was also quite an experience and I can only be thankful to Sir for his patience and guidance when he ordered me to apply my first swats. A very different kind of pain, stinging pain that gets worse after the stroke lands. A few more strokes and my sorry ass became a pink sorry ass. I hope it amused Sir as I really tried not to go easy. I have not yet felt the true floggers “rath” but I got an impression how much pain can such simple device cause.
The cock ring was a different story; when Sir saw it he immediately described it as a comical cock ring. I got played by the “helpful” assistant. Only when I showed it to my Master could I understand the true meaning of the assistant’s words: it looks a bit funny but maybe my Master will like it”. He did not and I felt like a complete idiot - tricked and imagining an evil grin on the assistant’s face.
But this was not the must humiliating thing that happened to me in the last few days.
I managed to reach my 1,5 kg weight loss goal (lost even a bit more but there is still lots that needs to go) and I was like a young puppy, wiggling his tail. I felt so happy and proud. Doing something good for my body but most of all for my Master, who clearly wants me to loose weight. And I so badly want to become more desirable, more fuckable for my Master. And that his words hit me: “I want you to cum for me on cam” - “what?, wow., huh..”. I got so excited, so happy and full of emotions. It was completely unexpected.
But than the cam failed. I got so nervous, trying to find some sort of a solution. What to do?
Then my cock failed me - in panic it got soft and I once again experienced what it is like to loose control.
I failed.
“OK, missed the chance to cum and orgasm” was all Sir said. I just nodded, feeling angry, ashamed, useless. I was so near to my useless genitals doing a manly function, shooting spunk not just pee but I failed. And this thought still has not left my mind. Such humiliation.
But Sir was understanding and gave me a different kind of reward - warm showers and new underwear for two days. Thank you Sir, thank you so much.
You must wonder, but don’t you want more? The answer is simple, no. What I want is to become better, to bring Sir more pleasure and not constant worries, so this is a huge reward and I really appreciate it.
But will I be able to do that; will I be able to make Sir proud? I want it so much but Sir’s next statement caught me completely off guard: “I have offered you to another Getdare master, for a session/task”. Did he really? Who? Is this just a mind trick? Is this person reading my blog? Why would he want a beginner like me, if only for one task? A boy who can not even cum?
Later that evening I posed a question to Sir: how do you feel about the fact that i have never asked you what your cock looks like? i can not quite explain, but it is something i do not dare to ask...it is not that i have fantasies about size, i don't even have a complete image thinking about it Sir... i think about it but not dare asking anything about it Sir.
And than Sir surprised me again - he sent me a picture of his hard and a little tied up cock. I can not explain my feelings, really not. The only thing I can write now is that I only want Sir, I want to be close to him, to suck his amazing hard cock, to lick his beautifully shaped cock head and his hairy balls, kiss his man feet, even drink his piss. His man piss. But I know it is up to him. It is he who decides.

And he decided I need to make another step forward in becoming a boy. One that will be extremely hard for me. I need to shave off my chest hair, something I was actually proud about my body. I know it must go but still… will I do it?
I hope, dear readers, I will be able to answer this question in my next instalment.

As always, thank you for reading, commenting and being part of my journey.

boy A