[little pet]

A lengthy essay of exactly five hundred words on my extremely well deserved punishment for taunting and making a general mockery of my righteous and extremely respectable proprietor, to show everyone on this website how very regrettable and unforgivable I find this particular show of disrespect from yours truly.

Over the course of the past few days, I must unfortunately admit that I have been exasperating and jeering at my owner in the most exasperating and irksome manner possible. On the most amusing and hilarious Getdare thread that all you respectable readers will no doubt have heard of; You're Banned, I have been making very snide remarks and extremely clever comebacks at the expense of my possessor and dominator. I must admit that I take a very sarcastic, but masochistic liking in trying to bring my master down a peg or two. Difficult words and synonyms are the tools of my trade by which I'm trying to establish vocabular dominance over my not so enviable owner.

He will in turn complain about and rile me over having to use a web based search engine to find translations of the particular terms I have been using in multiple posts. I have always tried to defended my poor and innocent self by explaining to him that I really can't be held responsible for his lack of knowledge of certain words or expressions that I use in my rebuttals towards him or any other user on the thread in question for that matter.

My master and owner has implemented a new rule for his underling that states; "always use understandable language". I must say that I do absolutely not see that there should be any problem with this rule whatsoever. All this time I have indeed been using language and words that I have always found easily understandable, though I do sincerely appreciate my proprietor's concern for me to be able to participate on a website that employs a langue that is not my first.

A point that he might have failed to mention though and I'm quite hesitant to bring up, is that it is entirely possible that he has designed this rule not for his property, but for himself. I must admit that I have had suspicions towards that possibility for quite a lengthy amount of time now but I have always been very careful not to jest or satirise his use and understanding of this oh so beautiful and sophisticated international language.


To show the deep regret and sympathy I am feeling towards him for these affronts, I will now write my essay and grovel at his feet in hope of forgiveness. I will make my newly obsequious and compliable state known by not snivelling or bowing and scraping, but rather by deferentially adoring his beautiful designer shoes which I'm not even worthy off kissing. I will beseech and prostrate myself before him on the dirty floor so that he might take pity on his biddable and servile property.