This has potential. An... intersting beginning, I'm going to have to agree. You definitely need to incorporate the girls name soon, as you should know you just couldn't be calling her "the lost girl" this whole time (I suppose you could, but think of what people could say.). Keep this up. I think this has potential. But be careful on how you progress with the story. Don't rush to fast. Great grammar and spelling, interesting story line... Could be great story!
|