As one of those chicks for whom it took a really long time to figure out how to come just using my fingers, I have to say, ruined orgasms feel a lot like trying to get off used to feel before I got better at it.
I used to "miss" orgasms a lot more than I do now; I'd use a vibrator and I'd tense up and then I'd be sensitive suddenly, my muscles would relax, and I'd have to take the vibe away, but it wouldn't have the over-the-top "whee" sensation of coming. It was like there was an orgasm, but I wasn't there for it; I'd missed it, somehow.
I just did a Writeforme exercise (
https://writeforme.org/writingtask.php?task=15771) which required a ruined orgasm, and I had to look up what it meant for women, 'cause I'd only done it to dudes when topping. Sure enough, after two edges, I ramped up again and pulled my vibe away just as I started to come, and I blinked and it was gone. Let me tell you, I wasn't exactly aching with nostalgia for that sensation, it was really frustrating.
Luckily, practice makes perfect, and I should get my orgasm now, no "missing" or "ruining" required. Phew!