My only quibble is in regards to the speech. Please could you separate speech onto new lines each time someone different is talking? I read this quite easily, but I know it'd be much easier and more efficient if you gave each new speaker a new line.
With regards to the storyline itself, well... it's great! I love how Jeff thinks he's won. I can't wait to read about his reaction to "The Basement"
Keep it up!
