Just a tip.
If this is not the interesting part, then it might be a good idea to START with the interesting part otherwise people are not going to get to the interesting part.
It's no good saying the interesting part is coming later. People won't wait that long.
Start with a bang and get people interested right from the first paragraph. It'll pay off in the long run
I'm not criticising your work. I think more people should start writing. It's just that most people reading these won't continue unless you hook them from the start.
I hope this helps everyone who is thinking of starting a story on here.