I agree with the previous posts. I think either person trying to force themselves to be something they are not is going to end up disastrously - at some point. In my experience, trying to keep D/s thoughts to oneself and in fantasies alone will leave one dissatisfied, which will lead to problems in other areas as well. It really depends on the person, but for myself, having some kink that isn't really D/s isn't enough - a lesson well earned and not for lack of trying.
From what you've described, it sounds like she should either end it now before it gets even harder, and hopefully remain friends with the guy, or like others have said, explore that part of herself with someone else, if they are both poly, or he's okay with her being so. That last part can be incredibly difficult, impossible if the people involved aren't completely okay with it and honest with one another. Generally, my advice to anyone in that situation would be to end it because if it is hard now, or her partner isn't that interested in it now, that will only intensify over time, it most likely won't improve, and she'll be miserable.
I do hope your friend gets some help with her depression, it sounds like she is in a very hard place. I'm glad she has a friend like you.
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