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Old 02-20-2015, 12:23 PM   #6
eivins
getDare Sweetheart
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 301
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- Can you have a stable relationship where one of the partner who is a submissive and little, and the other will not touch in this type of 'lifestyle' (she told me that he said; "Love making has to be gentle, loving and caring. How could pain be sexual?")?
I think the answer to this question can be yes, depending on the individuals involved but I don't think this is the case here. Problem #1: The guy is 18. Age certainly is just a number, but most eighteen year old boys are neither emotionally ready nor mature enough to be a daddy or a dom. This is not a rule, but just a VERY broad generalization. Based on the information you've provided, I would say that he does fit the general mold of not being ready for relationships like this (forgive me if I'm wrong). Maybe he will be one day! Outside of kinky relationships, love making isn't just gentle and caring! My last boyfriend and I were not a D/s couple in any way... but the sex was certainly on the kinkier end. Sometimes sweet and sometimes... *waggles eyebrows* I would say that I tended to "bottom". And that is enough for me, personally!
Problem #2- It sounds like your friend's little side has made an appearance due to depression. Her little side could be somewhat unhealthy, in terms of the way she's using it to escape life. However, the absence of depression most likely won't make her little side go away. It's part of who she is now and she needs to embrace it. To be clear: I'm not saying that being a little is unhealthy. I do think that she needs to accept that side as part of her, and not use it to escape life. Not being able to drive or cook? I understand that being little is a frame of mind, but you need to be able to take part in life. You can't just call out of work because your little side is making an appearance.
Problem #3- he's not interested in these things. And maybe that could be solved by agreeing that she should have a daddy dom online.. but he doesn't sound like the type of person who would be able to deal with that. I think he would be jealous and not understand. He seems to find D/s or D/lg unreasonable and unhealthy... so I doubt he would approve of her finding it elsewhere. However, it could still an option worth exploring.

- If you were the submissive/little, and you had a partner like hers, would you be able to maintain a stable relationship? or would you go find someone else (bare in mind she can easily slip in and out of a 'little' frame of mind)?
For point of reference, I am a submissive with little tendencies. I don't have a little frame of mind and I don't need a daddy. But I do need a very caring person when it comes to D/s or even in a vanilla relationship. I think we all desire different things out of relationships, and we shouldn't settle for less. Him not being interested in D/s wouldn't bother me as long as he was willing to have some fun in the bedroom! If I slipped into a little frame of mind, I think it's important to have someone who will support you. It doesn't mean they have to take on the roll of daddy. Maybe he's caught up on titles? "I'm 18.. I'm not a daddy!" But he still can be a caring and supportive boyfriend. If not? I don't think the relationship could work.
- Any help or advice as to how we can convince her partner to look into how to take care of a little (at the minimum) or how she can 'get rid' of her little side (My expepience in how a lg thinks is minimal, so I am unsure if this is possible or not).
You can't just "convince" someone to want to do something... and it would be a very bad idea for her to just 'get rid' of her little side.
- Any other advice for the couple?
They should really evaluate what they need from each other. Communicate and discuss everything! Even if he can accept that she's a little, it doesn't sound like he's willing to embrace the roll. I think that she needs to do what will be best and healthiest for her. Depression is not an easy thing to overcome! I think they may find that they're better off as friends, for now. Maybe they just have a little more maturing to do.
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