It really depends on how deep the BDSM flows through her, same with the little. But reading it it's seem that it flows pretty deep and can't be ignored, so don't try to ignore it, putting away emotions and desires is never good.
And the same goes the other way around, if you ''force'' him to talk a DD or a dom role while he has no interest in it at all won't end good neither.
I would advice to communicate about it but they clearly have done that.
The best solution I can think off of the top of my head is to let her find a way to satisfy her BDSM/lg without him. Maybe in the form of an online dom, though this should of course be heavily discussed between them because obvious reasons.
If I come up with more I'll let you know.
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