[AppleEden]

Wow... so, to me this proves that getdare is not an inclusive place, but in truth really is quite exclusive to anyone who isn't cis gender.

And being bi/bi curious or just not "straight" doesn't mean you understand the issues facing transgender people. I'm pansexual, and though I have had challenges and discrimination based on that, I am quite obviously a cis-woman, so I haven't had to go through the trials that transgendered people do. Saying you can understand and speak for transgendered people because your bi is the same as me saying that I, as a white woman, can speak for people of colour because I have experienced discrimination being a woman. It just doesn't make sense.

Saying that since trans people are a minority means that they ought to just go along with the majority is exactly the problem that Princess Tally is trying to bring up. That kind of notion is really oppressive to anyone who isn't cisgendered.

I think it's fair to be offended by terms "sissy" and especially "tranny", and those words DO have significance. Words are never just "words", they can hurt and they are powerful. However it's really complex on this site because of the whole kink and humiliation aspect. Unfortunately, if we find the sensation of being humiliated a turn-on, what is humiliating has been engrained in us from society. For men, often being considered feminine is unfortunately degrading, and I've realized through talking to people here that it often doesn't mean that they think women(/the feminine) are lesser than men(/the masculine), it really is just this engrained thing that they use to bring about the sensation of being humiliated. There's a part of me that's peeved that this is so (particularly as a very feminine woman), however as long as no one is degrading me for being a woman, I let it be. Also, I find the words "slut" and "bitch" very offensive, yet it's engrained in me that they are humiliating or dirty things to be, so I liked being called them in a sexual context. However, it's consensual (often pre-negotiated) name-calling, and if things get out of hand, everything stops. Also, the fact that these words bring about the humiliated feeling proves how powerful they are. Words evoke feeling (heck, being name-called in bed could even be a word-kink!).

And I've heard from guys a lot here on this site being disappointed that who they were playing with wasn't a woman-born-female,leading to a complete break in contact. Though I can imagine for a transgendered person going through something like that, where they think they might have a Dom and then they are left is also a disturbing experience. That's why if a trans person is genuinely looking for a relationship/play partner/whatever they should probably mention they are not a woman-born-female, or otherwise ask about what kind of genitalia they want in a partner early on, etc. I could see that saving hurt on both sides.

I think what Princess Tally is pointing out is a legitimate problem. If it's so important that the truths have such a heavy sexual/genital relation than maybe they should be labeled "for penis-people" or "for-vagina people"? But even then that would be awkward for anyone transitioning. It's really tough stuff she's bringing up.

These are really tough issues that should be addressed, but can't be solved easily. I think the only way we can even make a slight bit of progress on them is by listening to anyone who is transgendered and NOT delegitimizing their experiences. This also involves recognizing that if you are not transgender you will never be able to know what it's like to be transgender or fathom the problems/trials they have to go through.

It's tough. Thanks for speaking out about this Princess Tally.