Thread: Fiction: ★ Charlotte's School Trip
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Old 06-06-2009, 10:36 AM   #159
quidproquo
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The US of A
Posts: 109
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I agree with the other members who dislike the two boys in the two recent chapters. It was not really entertaining to read about them, because they make me angry, and it's becoming a mature topic (sexual assault).

I agree that it would be better to have some nicer, more compassionate guys in the story instead of them. I do like the character of Lucas, he seems nice enough but not so nice that he's not believable. I would put more of him in and develop the relationship between him and Charlotte a little more.

It might be a nice twist to add a more dominant female to the story who gets back at the two younger boys.

Overall, very good though.
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