Feminization as a fetish vs Transgender
 

I'd say it's fune, everyone has the right to what they like, feel and are into. I myself enjoy being sissy and being feminized, as well as used as a girl....though only by other girls....never tried or done anything with guys so far

I can vaguely relate to that, when I was a teen I would steal my sister's swimwear / underwear / etc. and wear it because it aroused me. Occasionally I'd go into her room and put on her clothes. I don't know exactly how, but at some point it stopped feeling sexy and just felt 'right', and based on conversations I'd been having on the internet around that time I sorta eventually realised that that was because I was probably trans.

Gender is weird, and the way society makes us rigidly think of it is also weird, and I think lead to my initial confusion. I can't tell you if you're trans or not, but if you're wondering if you are then I'd say just keep exploring. Exploration is the only way to know. Get some (age-appropriate, not overly showy/sexy) femme clothes and wear them around a trusted friend or family member. It'll probably be a bit awkward initially but I think it should be pretty clear to you pretty quickly - either it'll feel completely freeing, like a huge burden has been removed from your shoulders, or it'll never stop feeling weird, awkward and transgressive.

For me, a couple of things that really cemented my trans identity were wearing dresses around my best friend & at his parties, eventually growing the confidence to wear them when we hung out outside too, and then much later, when I chose a name for myself and someone else used it to refer to me the first time. It just clicked, a 'yes! everything is right in the world!' kind of feeling.

In case you do turn out to be trans then one thing I would say is this: there is an incredible pressure to medically transition in order to feel like you'll be taken seriously. You should only medically transition if you really want to for your own reasons - not doing so, or only partially doing so (e.g. taking hormones but not getting any surgeries, or taking anti-androgens but not hormones) does not make you any less trans and does not make your trans identity less valid.

I know how hard figuring out gender stuff is, so I wish you the absolute best and I hope this was somewhat helpful!

Ask yourself: is it the female clothes that turn you on or the humiliation that you associate with them that turns you on? The latter wouldn't exclude you from being trans.