Little Sister Becomes a Slave
 

Characters:

Cathryn: Is 17, Jeremy's little sister, & James's girlfriend. Has shoulder length brunette hair, hazel eyes, 5''5, average, white/caucasian, & 40c.

Jeremy: Is 19, Cathryn's big brother, & Kaidn's boyfriend. Has short shaggy brown hair, diamond blue eyes, 5"11, white/caucasian, & slim/muscular.

Kaiden: Is 19, & Jeremy's boyfriend. Has short blond shaggy hair, brown eyes, 5"9, slim/muscular, & white/caucasian

James: Is 16, & Cathryn's boyfriend. Has (almost)shoulder length/short brown shaggy hair with blond highlights, hazel eyes, 5"9, white/caucasian, & is very slim/muscular.

Chapter 1
 

Hey,my name is Cathryn,and this is my story of how I ended up being my big brother's slave.
This story begins during the summer if June. My dad is in the military and is off fighting in Iraq,and my mom passed away last year with breast cancer,so I just live with my brother Jeremy.
I don't remember what the exact date or time was,but I do remember that it was a very hot day outside, on a Friday afternoon. Jeremy and his boyfriend Kaiden where sitting on the couch in the living room watching a movie. I was bored and alone in my room, and thought it would be fun to bugg my brother for a while,so i went to go join them in the living room.
There was a little gap between Jeremy and Kaiden, and sat next to them, making them scoot over.

Jeremy: (talking to me) Uh, exuse me.

Cathryn: Hey.

Jeremy: Leave, NOW.

Cathryn: No, its my living room too. I want to watch a movie.

Jeremy: (hands me a Barney movie that we had since we were kids) Here, go take Barney to your room and watch it.

Cathryn: (I hand the movie back to Jeremy) I'am 17. 17 year old girls don't watch Barney. Only babies like you do. What are you guys watchin?

Kaiden: We are watching American Pie Betta House Club.

Cathryn: Cool, I watched this with James once. (I see a girl exposing her breast on the screen) But I don't remember seeing that.

Kaiden: (laughing at my reaction to what I just saw) Thats because it's the X-rated version.

Jeremy: Which is why you need to leave. Your not old enought to watch this movie. Your also in my way of me being able to kiss my boyfriend.

Kaiden: Oh, I think I can fix that.

Kaiden sits on my right knee,then Jeremy sits on top of my left knee.

Cathryn: Ow, Kaiden, Jeremy get off of me. (Kaiden and Jeremy start kissing) Ewww,gross.Since when did the movie become 4-D?. Come on you guys, get off.Your squishing my knees.(My boyfriend is calling my cell,and I answer it) Hey James.

James: Hey baby. Whats up?

Cathryn: Well my knees are being pinned down to the couch, and I'm forced to watch Romeo and Romeo make out infront of me. (talking to Kaiden and Jeremy) Eugh,would you guys get a room?. Get off of me. (talking to James) Hey,can you hold on for just a sec?

James: (laughing at me)Yeah,sure

I push Jeremy off of my knee onto the floor.

Kaiden: (gets off of me to help Jeremy up, and I get up off the couch) Babe are you okay?

Jeremy: (gives me an evil look) Yeah.

Cathryn: (being sarcastic) Ooops,sorry. (I walk into the Kitchen to where I can talk to James without any distractions)

James: Cat ya there?

Cathryn: Yeah, im still here. Sorry about that.

James: Its okay.

Cathryn: So whats up?

James: Nothing much, just being bored and lonley.

Cathryn: I know the feeling.

James: Would it be okay if I could come over to your place, so we could go swimming togeather?

Cathryn: Yeah,sure. That sounds like fun.

James: K,it's a date. I'll be there in about 5 minutes.

Cathryn: K,see ya then. Love you.

James: Love ya too.

(James and I hang up our phones. I go back in the living room where Jeremy and Kaiden are.)

Cathryn: Hey Jeremy. James is comeing over for awhile, and we are going swimming.

Jeremy: Okay,cool. You two just better keep it PG.

Cathryn: (I roll my eyes at Jeremy's comment) Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Jeremy: Kaiden and I may join you guys after our movie is over.

Cathryn: Okay. Well I'm going to go put my swim suite on. James is suppose to be here in about 5 miniutes. If I'm not ready when hes here,can you please let him in?

Jeremy: Yeah,sure. Whatever.

Kaiden: If he doesn't then I will.

Cathryn: K, thank you Kaiden.

I go into my room to change.....

I like everything about this story except the homo-sexual couple
I love the story though

Not bad, please continue

*
 

Hey readers,thanks for reading my story.My second chapter may be a little late because im really busy this week. I'm having to stay up late studying,then taking graduation test the next day. I'm sorry to keep you guys waiting.I'll try to poste the next chapter soon.

----------

I agree

I like how this has started, as for the homo-erotic's, why not i say...

Chapter 2
 

I'm now in my room,searching for my two piece swimdress. I finde the bottoms and put them on.I then here the doorbell ring.

Jeremy:CAT!!!!! James is here!!!

Cathryn: K,I'm almost ready!!!

I quickly find my top and put it on. I then search for my flipflopes and a towel.

Jeremy: (Answers the door to let James in) Hey James.

James: Hey, wheres Cathryn?

Jeremy: Shes in her room getting ready,shes almost done.
(They walk in the living room,an Jeremy sits back down next to Kaiden.)

James: Oh okay. Hey Kaiden.

Kaiden: Hey, whats up?

James: Nuthin much. Whatch you guys watchin?

Jeremy: American Pie Betta House Club

Kaiden: The X-rated version.

James: Oh, cool. Hey Jeremy,is it okay if I wait for Cate by the pool?

Jeremy: Yeah,sure.
(James leaves the living room and enters the indoor pool. I finally find my flipflops,put them on,grab my towel,and walk into the living room.)

Cathryn: Wheres James?

Jeremy: Already at the pool,waiting for you.

Cathryn: Oh okay. Well I'm going swimming now.

Jeremy: Okay

I leave the living room and enter my indoor pool,but I don't see James.
Our Pool is very nice. Its about 8ft deep and has alot of room. We even have 2 diving boards,and a tunnle. The top of the tunnel is made into a waer fall, also has a water slide ontop,and as a hot tub under the tunnle.
I stand on the edge of the pool,between the diving boards, wondering where James could be.

Cathryn: James?!

Not knowing that James was behinde me,he sneaks up on me and pushes me into the pool,jumping in after me. He catches me,holding my waist,and swims me back up to the surface.

James: Hey baby,are you okay?

Cathryn: (I'm coughing up water that I accidently swallowed.) You jerk(jokingly).

James: Awww,I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to scare you. (He kisses me on the lips)

Cathryn: I've missed you. (I put my arms around hhis shoulders.)

James: I've missed you too.

Just as we were about to kiss again, out of no where Jeremy and Kaiden jumps in the pool doing cannonballs. The cannonballs made huge waves. Th scared James,causing him to let go of my waste, and making me go underwater. The waves they made were going over my head,causing me to chocke on water. I feel some one grabb my waist and swim me over to the shallow end,to where I would be able to stand.

Kaiden: (lets go of my waist) Are you okay?

Cathryn: Yeah,I'am now. Thanks.

James: (swims over too me and puts my arm around me) Are you okay?

Cathryn: Yeah,I'm fine.

James: Maybe swimming was a bad idea.

Cathryn: (mocking James) Or maybe you shouldn't have pushed me in the deep end.

Jeremy: (gets mad at James for what he just heard) Dude, you pushed her in the deep end?!?

Cathryn: Jeremy its okay. We were just playing around.

James: Yeah man,chill. I jumped in after her. I would never do anything to put her in danger. I love her.

Jeremy: Yeah?!? Well you did put her in danger. We all know that she can't swim well. Yet,you pushed her in the deep end.

Cathryn: (being sarcastic to Jeremy) Why don't you just publish that in the news paper. (I'm embarrassed that I'm 17 years old and sill can't swim well yet.)

James: Really?!? Well you seemed not to act like it,when you jumped in the pool,knowing that we were in the deep end.

Cathryn: Okay,thats enough! Stop arguing!

Kaiden: ( backs Jeremy away from James) Babe,relax. Calm down. (He kisses Jeremy to help calm him down)

Jeremy: Thanks, I feel alot better now. James, I'm sorry.

James: Its okay. I get that shes your little sister,and your just trying to protect her. But I want you to know that I love her very much, and would never mean to put her life in danger.

Jeremy: Yeah, I know. I guess I just get a bit over protective sometimes.

Cathryn: A bit? I think more than a bit. I love both of you guys.

Kaiden: Hey,what about me?

Cathryn: I love you too Kaiden. (Changing the subject) So what do you guys want to do?

James: (picks me up,carrying my like a baby) Wanna go to the hot tub and make out?

Cathryn: (James starts kissing me) Okay.

James carrys me under the tunnle,to the hot tub. We both get in the hot tub, and start making out. James trys to slide my strap off my shoulder,but I feel someone else pull it back up.

Jeremy: James, her top stays on.

Jeremy scared us a bit, so we stopped kissing. Jeremy sat down next to me,and Kaiden sat next between Jeremy and James.

Cathryn: (I was upset at Jeremy for interupting me and James.) Jeremy,can you and Kaiden please go somewhere else.?

Jeremy: No.

Kaiden: Jeremy & I were talking,and wanted to see if you two would like to play a little game with us.

James: What kind of game?

Jeremy: Truth or dare.

James: (talking to me) Do you want to play?

Cathryn: I don't know...I guess.

James: What are the rule.

Jeremy: Obviously,whatever the truth is you have to tell it. Or whatever the dare is,you have to do it.

Kaiden: If anyone backouts, they will be punished.And will be the person's slave for a year.

Cathryn: Punishment,slave? What do you mean?

Jeremy: If you back out,then you will find out.

Cathryn: Okay.

James: K,so who goes first?

Kaiden: Well since ladies always go first,Cathryn can. So Cat,what will it be, truth or dare?

Cathryn: (I'm kind of nervouse and don't know which one to choose) Uh, I guess truth.

Kaiden: Okay. Are you still a virgin?

Cathryn: Yes.

Jeremy: You better be.

Cathryn: Kaiden, truth or dare?

Kaiden: Truth.

Cathryn: Have you seen a girl or guy naked?

Kaiden: Yes.I've seen Jeremy.

Jeremy: (starts laughing) And don't forget the time you walked in on Cathryn.

Kaiden: (laughing) Oh yeah. I also saw baby picture of her too.

Cathryn: (I stop laughing,and start blushing.I'm shocked at what I just heard) What?!?! Jeremy, I could kill you.

Jeremy: Cat,I swear I didn't show those to him. That was mom's department.

Kaiden: Yep, your mom even showed me a home video of you and Jeremy taking a bath togeather when yall were little.

(I'm blushing bright red,and Jeremy stops laughing)

Jeremy: Say What? Cat,we must destroy those pictures and videos.

Cathryn: I say we burn them.

Jeremy: (laughing) Okay back to the game.

Love it love it love it, please continue ASAP :D

Looking forward to reading more of this one!

please continue fast

Kaiden. James,its your turn.

James: Oh okay. Jeremy,truth or dare?

Jeremy: Dare.

James: I dare you to kiss Cathryn for at least 30 seconds.

Cathryn: (I'm upset and shocked at James dared Jeremy to do) JAMES.(I slap his shoulder)

Jeremy: (he grabbs my wrist and pulls me towards him) Sorry, Cat. I have to do the dare.

Cathryn: Ewww,NO. Your my brother. I'm not kissing you, I'd rather kiss a toliet seat.

Kaiden: Cat,just close your eyes, and pretend your kissing James.

Cathryn: (I give up trying to get out of the dare) Okay.

Jeremy: Don't worry, I'll get James back for this. Are you ready?

Cathryn: I guess. Lets just get this done and over with.

Jeremy: Okay.

Jeremy leans over and kisses me. I know that its kind of weird that I'm kissing my brother,but he was actually a good kisser,and he kind of made me get turned on a bit.

James: Okay,you can stop now. (Jeremy and I stop kissing.)

Jeremy: James,truth or dare?

James: Truth

*
 

Hey readers,sorry for the short chapter. Theres a thunderstorm where I live,and I need to get off the computer,because it coming closer. I'm really sorry for the long wait,I hopfully will be posting the rest of the chapter soon.

Thanks 4 letting us know n be sure to put more in later..

...
 

Really enjoying this story, can't wait for more!

its different to read about gays, keep going ;)

Chapter 2 (part 3)
 

Jeremy: (dissapointed that James didn't pick dare) Is it true that you use to be gay,if so why did that change?

James: Yes. I use to be,but that was before I met Cathryn,and that changed because when I first saw her it was definitley love at first sight. Shes the only girl who I ever seen to be with forever.

Cathryn: Awww,I love you. (I kiss james on the lips)

Jeremy: (splashes water at our face to make us stop kissing) Okay Romeo and Juliet back to the game.

Kaiden: Cathryn,truth or dare?

Cathryn: Truth.

Kaiden: What happened between you and your ex Justin?

Cathryn: I don't like talking about that.

James: Either you ask her a deferent question,or we leave.

Kaiden: If she dosen't answer the truth and you both leave,then you both will be punished,and you'll become my slaves.

Jeremy: Dude,thats not cool. You know she doesn't like to talk about that. Besides you know what happened,why do you need her to explain it again?.

Cathryn: Jeremy its okay. I guess since everyone in here know,then it shouldn't hurt to tell. I broke up with justin because he almost blackmailed me,and I could never trust him ever again. I found out that he never really loved me,he just wanted to use me.

Kaiden: Oh,well I didn't know that part. I'm sorry he did that to you.

Cathryn: Its okay, I'm over it. That was the past, I have a much better boyfriend now.

James: (puts his arm around me) Jeremy,truth or dare?

Jeremy: Truth.

James: Have you and Kaiden had sex yet?

Jeremy: Yep.

Cathryn: So you can have sex with Kaiden,but I can't have sex with James?.

Jeremy: Yeah, he can't get me pregnate like James can with you.

Kaiden: (changing the subject) Okay from now on we all have to do dares,no more truths.

love it
 

I L-O-V-E this!!! SO MUCH!!!!

Chapter 3
 

Jeremy: Okay. I dare James to let me give you a wedgie.

Cathryn: Jeremy,please don't hurt him.

Jeremy: Well this is payback for him making me kiss you. (Jeremy stands up and walks over to James)

James: Fine,whatever. I guess I deserve this.(James stands up and Jeremy pulls up on his swim shorts giving him a high wedgie) OW,SHIT. Jeremy,please let go.

Jeremy: (lifts James's shorts higher) Apoligize to my sister.

James: I'm sorry Cat,I love you. (Jeremy is lifting James from the groud by pulling his shorts higher)AAAHHHH!!!! LET GO.

Cathryn: Jeremy,let him go. I think hes had enough.(Jeremy lets of James, making him go under water,falling on his butt.I go over to help him up) Are you Okay?

James: (coughing up water) Yeah, I think so. I'm really sorry I made you do that. I just couldn't come up with another dare.

Cathryn: (I kiss James on his cheeck) Its okay,and I love you too.

(Jeremy is now sitting back down where James sat. James gets back up,and sits next to Kaiden where Jeremy was. And I sit back down between Jeremy and James.)

Kaiden: I dare Cat to take James's swim shorts off.

Cathryn: WHAT?!?! Kaiden,NO. Thats too far.

James: Cathryn,its okay. You can take them off. I don't care.

Cathryn: Okay. (I slide James's shorts off,and he is now naked)

When I sild his shorts off his cock immediately stood straight up. I couldn't help but to stare at it. It looked like it was about 9 inches long. I started kissing James on the lips. I couldn't help myself,he was really turning me on. I then felt someone grabbing my wrist,pulling me back away from James. It was Jeremy.

Jeremy: Cathryn,bad girl. From now on your sitting between me and Kaiden.

Cathryn: But Jeremy...Uuugh. Your really starting to get on my nerves.

Jeremy: I'm sorry,I'm just trying to protect you.

Cathryn: Whatever. (I sit down next to Jeremy and Kaiden) Can I give a dare to more than one person?

Kaiden: Sure.

Jeremy: I guess.

Cathryn:Okay. I dare Jeremy and Kaiden to strip each other.

Kaiden and Jeremy: (smiling) Okay.

They both took their swim shorts off at the same time, and I was now surrounded by naked guys. Jeremy and Kaiden's cock also stood straight up like James's. Kaiden looked like he was about 6 inches,and Jeremy looked like he could be 6 or 7 inches. What I didn't know about Jeremy is that he had a tattoo of a star on his front,in the middle between his upper thigh and the low part of his stomach.

James: I dare Kaiden to spank Jeremy's ass 20 time.

Cathryn: (laughing at Jeremy) Maybe this will teach you to be more nicer to James.

Jeremy: Wahtever, I really don't care.

Jeremy leans a bit over the side of the hot tub,and sticks his butt up in the air. Kaiden then starts spanking him. Kaiden has now spanked Jeremy 20 times, and his butt cheecks are red. They both sit back down between me.

Jeremy: Since all the guys are now naked. Cathryn, I dare you to take at least your bottoms off.

Cathryn: Okay, I guess thats fair. (I slide my bottoms off,and throw them at Jeremy.He catches them and lays them on the side of the hot tub)

Kaiden: I dare Jeremy to take Cathryn's top off.

Cathryn: Woah,wait. Can't I at least keep my top on? Please?

Jeremy: (slides over next to me) Sorry sis,but the dare must be done.

James: Unbelievable. So you can take her top off,but I can't?.

Jeremy: Well you weren't dared too.

Jeremy sits me on his lap,with my back facing his front. He then slides my shoulder straps down, I pull my arms out of the straps. He grabbed the end of my top and pulls it up. I raise my arms in the air,so Jeremy can take it off. I'am now naked,we are all now completly naked. I noticed that all the guys couldn't keep their eyes off of me,espeacially James.I didn't feel comfortable being naked surrounded by naked guys,so I thought if we could go back out to the pool then I could put my swimsuite back on.

Cathryn: I dare all of us to go back out to the pool.

(We all stand up. Jeremy and James grabb their shorts,and jump out of the hot tub into the pool. I grabb my bottoms,and start to put them back on)

Kaiden: (grabbs my wrist to stop me) Woah,wait. What do you think your doing.

Cathryn: I'm putting my swim suite back on.

Kaiden: (takes my swimsuite away from me) No,not yet. The game still isn't over.

Cathryn: (I'm trying to get my swimsuite back from Kaiden) Thats not funny Kaiden. Give them back.

Kaiden: No. (He jumps out of the hot tub into the pool,and swims out of the tunnel)

Cathryn: KAIDEN, give them back!!!! (evidently Jeremy and James have already swam back to the pool,because I was left alone in the tunnel.) Jeremy,James?!?!?

I was trying to slide out of the hot tub into the pool,but instead I end up slipping off the step,hitting my forhead on the railing, and I fall in the pool. My mine went completly blank,and everything went black.

James: Kaiden,Jeremy. Wheres Cathryn?

Jeremy: I don't know.

Kaiden: She must still be under the tunnel. She tried to put her clothes back on,so I took them from her.

James: I'm going to see if shes okay. (James back under the tunnel and sees me laying in the bottom of the pool.) Shit. JEREMY,HELP!!! (James dives in after me.He picks me up and carrys me out of the tunnel,back out to the pool)

Jeremy: (sees James carrying me unconscious) What happened,is she okay?

James: I don't know. I don't think shes breathing.Help me get her out of the pool.
(Kaiden and Jeremy quickly get out of the pool. James gives me to Jeremy,and Jeremy lays me down on the ground. James then gets out of the pool, and kneels down next to me)

Kaiden: I know CPR. I'm going to have to give her mouth to mouth. (He starts giving me mouth to mouth)

Jeremy: James,what happened to her?

James: I don't know. I found her laying in the bottom of the pool. (James brushes my hair back away from my eyes,and sees the the top corner of my forhead is turning blue.) She must have hit her head on something.

( My eyes are still closed,and I see a bright white light. Not knowing what was going on,I see a face looking down at me,and it looks like my mom. It almost felt so real,like I was with her again. I actually like this feeling,and didn't want that feeling to go away. It was the feeling of my mom's love, I can feel her hold my hand. I then hear her talking to me,and shes telling me to wake up. The fith time Kaiden gives me mouth to mouth,I start to wake up.I feel a strong force come into my throat making me cough up water,finally able to breath again.)

Jeremy: Cathryn,sweety. Please wake up.(sees that I'm waking up,and hugs me) Thank God your okay. (he kisses my cheek)

I still have my eyes close,and I see my mom fading away. I start to cry because I didn't want to leave her.

Cathryn: No. Mommy,please don't go.

Jeremy: (shakes me to wake me up) Cathryn, wake up.Open your eyes.!

Cathryn: (I'm crying,upset at Jeremy for making mom leave me) NO,I want to be with mom.!

Jeremy: (hold me in his arms,trying to comfort me) Sssshhh,clam down. Okay. Mom isn't here anymore,but she will always still be in our hearts.

James: (thinks i've gon crazy) What does she mean?

Jeremy: Do I look like Edward Cullens to you? I don't have the power to read her minde. I don't know.

Kaiden: (hands Jeremy my top to put back on me) We will stop the game for now.(Kaiden slides my bottoms on me)

(I'm so tired from crying,that I finally start to calm down. Jeremy lays me back down,and James put his arm under my head,using it as a pillow)

James: Cat? Baby,can you hear me?

(everything still looks blurry to me,and my heard is hurting really bad)

Cathryn: (I think I see James, and hear him say my name) James?

James: (kisses my forhead) I'm so happy your alive.

(I'm tired and can't keep my eyes opened anymore,and fall asleep)

Kaiden: (sees that I closed my eyes,and starts to worry) Is she okay?

James: I think so. She just fell asleep.

Jeremy puts my top back on,picks me up,and carrys me back inside the house. Kaiden and James quickly put their shorts back on and follow. Jeremy was so worried about me,that he forgot he was naked. He carried me into his room,and lays me down on his bed.James lay down next to me,and puts his arm around me.

hmmmm......this story is growing on me. Please continue.

the bomb
 

this story gets better and better each day i just love it :D

How does Cathryn almost drowning make it better than the last post?

awsome!!!!!!
 

:D :p :) it makes it very interesting

Cant Wait For The Rest Of The Story :)

Chapter 4
 

Jeremy's room is pretty big. Since my mom pastaway,and my dad went to war, Jeremy was able to move into there bedroom. His room is a 570×379 master bedroom,the biggest in our house. The front side of the walls are painted white,the left are painted black,and the right are painted red. He has a silver ansu paltform California king size bed,with black and white bloomingdale bed spread. He has at least over a thousands different kind of guitars hanging on racks on the left side of the wall,and has alot of different kind of skateboards hanging on racks on the right. His bed is laying against the front, between two windows,and facing in the door. He also has a
400×304 walkin closet,and a 540×324 master bathroom.

Kaiden: Uh, you left these by the pool. (throws Jremy's swim shorts at him)

Jeremy: (catches his swim shorts) Thanks. (Jeremy puts his swim shorts back on)

James: It looks like she must have hit her head pretty hard.

Jeremy: Kaiden,could you do me a favor and go get the ice pack?

Kaiden: Yeah,sure. (He leaves the room,to the kitchen,to get the ice pack)

James: Is it okay if I can stay the night,plaese? I would like to stay,so I can help take care of her.

Jeremy: Yeah,sure. Thanks for taking such good care of my sister.To be honest, I do like you better than her last boyfriend.At least you actually take care of her,unlike he did. I guess thats the reason why I'm so over protective of her.

James: Its cool, I understand.

(Kaiden comes back in the room with the ice pack,and gives it to Jeremy.)

Jeremy: Thanks. (Jeremy lays the ice pack on my forhead. The coldness of the ice pack wakes me up a bit. My eyes are still closed,but I'm able to hear everything they're saying.)

Kaiden: No problem. Babe, I'm really really sorry about what happened. I feel like this whole thing is my fault.

Jeremy: (kisses kaiden on his cheek) Its okay,its not your fault. Accidents happen. (joking) His her fault for being born uncoordinated.

Cathryn: (jokingly) You jerk. I heard that.

Kaiden: (laughing) Looks like you broke the spell for sleeping beauty.

James: (kisses the top of my head) Hey baby,how are you feelin?

Cathryn: Okay, I guess. My head really hurts.

(I've opend my eyes a little bit to I could see. I couldn't open my eyes all the way,because my head hurt so bad. The ice pack was starting to make the bruise sting,so I put my hand on top of James's trying to remove it)

Jeremy: (grabbs my wrist to stop me) Cathryn,no. That needs to stay on for a couple of more minutes.

Cathryn: But its starting to sting.

Jeremy: I'm sorry.Just a few more minutes,then it can come off.

Cathryn: Okay. (I'm kind of confused at why my head is hurting to begin with,I can't remembered how I hurt it) What happened?

Jeremy: I don't know. I was hoping you could tell us that.

James: (talking to me) I don't know how it happend,but I found you laying down at the bottom of the pool. Kaiden had to give you CPR to bring you back to life.

Jeremy: If it wasn't for James and Kaiden,you could still be dead. Do you remember anything at all?

Cathryn: Not really. The only thing I remember is seeing and being with mom.
James,can you please take the ice pack off now? Its really stinging.

Kaiden: Should we take her to the doctor to get x-rays?

Jeremy and Cathryn: NO.

Jeremy: She hate doctors.

Kaiden: Why?

Cathryn: Because there suppose to help you get better. They didn't help my mom. They pratically just let her die in the hospital bed. I hate them for that,I hate that they didn't even try to do anything to help her.

Jeremy: I also don't want my dad to find out about this.

Kaiden: Oh oaky. Well, I have a friend whos a doctor. If its oaky,I can call him over.

Cathryn: I don't trust any doctors.

Kaiden: Cathryn, you need to get your head checked. We need to make sure that theres no brain damage or anything.

Jeremy: Kaiden is right. We need to make sure that your heads okay.

Cathryn: K, whatever.

Jeremy: (talking to kaiden) K,he can come over.

Kaiden: Okay,I'll be right back. I'm going to get my cell phone,and call him.

(Kaiden leaves the room,into the living room,to get his cell phone.)

Great job so far, Keep up the good work :)

New Characters
 

These are some of the characters that I forgot to add. :

Characters:

Bradon (Dr. Maddox): Is 23,bi-sexual, Kaiden's friend. He has light brown, short shaggy hair. Has green eyes, 6"2, white/caucasian, and is sim/very muscular.

Trey: Is 17, bi-curious. Hes Jeremy's and Kaiden's, and is Cathryn's and James's best friend. He has brownish black shaggy hair, brown eyes, 5"8, white/caucasian (very pale), and is silm/very muscular.

Logan: Is 18, bi-sexual. Jeremy and Kaiden's best friend, and James's friend. He has short brown curly/shagy hair, has crystal blue eyes, 5"7, white/caucasian, and is very silm/muscular. He loves to make fun of Cathryn,and always trys to humiliate her.

Jordan: Is 20, gay. Kaiden and Jeremy's best friend, and Cathryn's friend. He has short blond hair (that almost goes past his ears), has dark blue eyes, 5"10, white/caucasian, and is silm/muscular.

Hey readers. Thank you so much for reading my story, and I hope everyone enjoys it. I'm really sorry that I'm keeping you guys waiting for the next chapters. I just started school last week,so its going to be hard to try to find time to write more of it. I promise I will finish it,its just that its going to have to take some time.

I'm sorry, but I can't read this story, when it hasn't be formatted properly.

the proper way is:

"This is a example." said John Smith.
Jane Doe looked surprised "Oh!" She exclaimed, " Look, proper English!"
"Look," John smith says, " I can even write action as well."
And with that statement, John smith leant in and pressed his lips to Jane's.

If you want, I could be your beta reader/mentor?
A beta reader reads through work and fixes problems.

I actually like it the way she writes it. It's different. You don't have to change it 8)

Changing it would mean a vast improvement in readability.
In certain instances changing your writing from proper English is fine, for example, when you're role playing, or in the style of the narrator, (for example, if the narrator was a little kid, then you might purposely mess up big words, like owl does in winnie the pooh, ) but this is not one of those times

Actually...
 

"This is an example." said John Smith.
Jane Doe looked surprised. "Oh!" She exclaimed, " Look, proper English!"
"Look," John Smith said, " I can even write action as well."
And with that statement, John Smith leant in and pressed his lips to Jane's.


Everyone has a different style of writing and although this is less conventional and standard, it still works. I'm enjoying this story and am looking forward to more! :)

Just letting you know,I'm actually writing it the right way. I'm writing it as a screen play.

pls continue writing

Actually, A is correct, for me at least .I was always taught that An is for vowel sounds, A is for consonant sounds
I, with my accent, say x-am-ple.

It talks about it more at the end of this page http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/591/01/

Oh I'm sorry.
Please accept my apology.
I'm only used to reading plays, not screen plays, and they are a bit different,
starting with stage directions and scene setting.

Well writing in accents is bad! :P Only messing, I just wanted to stick up for the story and love grammar debates (yeah, I'm a geek.) But I stand by the correct way being 'an example' because the 'e' is still a vowel sound in 'proper' English. To be honest though, our language is so varied it doesn't really matter I guess! :)

its okay. Just have too keep in minde that there are many way of writing ;)

Chapter 4 (part 2)
 

Kaiden has called his friend to come over,and he was going to be here any minute. Jeremy and Kaiden waited for him to in the living room,while James an I were still in my brother's room. I was kind of nervous for it has been a year since I had to visit a doctor. I had the flue last time I was sick,and it was really bad too where I had to get a shot. Jeremy had to literally drag and carry me into the doctors office.
I look over at James laying next to me,and he has fallen asleep with the ice pack still in his hand,laying on my head. My head still hurt,but not as bad as before. I was at least able to open and close my eyes without making my head hurt.I then heard foot steps coming closer to the room. just before Jeremy, Kaiden and his friend was about to walk in, I close my eyes pretending that I'm still asleep.

Jeremy: (new that I wasn't really asleep,starts joking around) Woah,thats one big needle. I guess you should probably go ahead and stick it in her now while shes asleep. (He tickles my right arm,making me think a needle was about to be stuck in me)

Cathryn: (thinking he was actually serious, I open my eyes and start freking out) NO,DON"T!!!! ( Before I could push Jeremy's arma way,he quickly moves it before I could hit him, and makes me accidently wake James up by punching his groins)

James: (wakes up shokingly in pain) OWWW, Son of a bitch.

Cathryn: (I put my hand where his is holding his groins,trying to comfort him)Oh,baby.Im sooo sorry. Jeremy freaked me out and made me hit you. Are you okay?

Jeremy: (talking to James) The doctor is here if you need him to look at that.

James: (trying to calm himself down) I think I'll be fine. (takes the ice pack from my head) I'm just gonna borrow this. (He lays the ice pack down onto of his groins) Shit,thats cold. Could i traid this for a heat pack?

Kaiden: (inturrupts James) Anyways...Cathryn,this is my friend Dr.Maddox.

Bradon: (he gives a frim hand shake) Nice to meet you Cathryn.

Cathryn: Nice to meet you too.

Bradon: Your brother tells me that your afriad of doctors? If it makes you more comfortable,then you can call me Bradon.

Cathryn: I'm not afraid of doctors,I just hate them. No offense.

Bradon: (chuckles at my comment) Non taken. (He lays his briefcase down on Jerem'y night stand,and starts looking around in it.) Now,wheres that needle at?

Cathryn: (I start to get scared and get up from out of the bed.I try to make an excuse to leave) I'm gonna go get James that heat pack for James.
(Jeremy and Kaiden both cuff their arms around mine,and make me lay back down)

Jeremy: I don't think so,you're staying here.

Bradon: (laughing) Relax sweety, I just kidding. I won't hurt you, I'm here to help you. Okay?

Cathryn: Okay.

Bradon: How does your head feel?

Cathryn: It still hurts, but the pain has gone down some.

Bradon: How did you hurt it?

Cathryn: I don't remeber.

JamesL I don't know what happened, but I found her laying at the bottom of the pool.

Bradon: (He puts his hand on my forhed,and brushes my hair back to look at my bruise) Hmmm,seems like you're lucky to be alive.

Jeremy: Is she going to be okay?

Bradon: Yes,its just a bruise. (talking to me) If you keep feeling pain,make sure to take some Ibuprofen, and you need to put an ice pack on your bruise for a couple of minuets, each day until the pain goes away. Understood?

Cathryn: Yes sir.

Bradon: If you start to feel worse or have any questions, just give me a call. (He writes his number down on a piece of paper and give it to me) Okay?

Cathryn: Okay.

Bradon: Hope you get better soon.

Cathryn: Thanks.

Kaiden: Thanks for coming over Bradon.

Bradon: Not a problem.

Jeremy: If you want Kaiden & I are having a small party later on tonight. You can come,if you want to.

Bradon: Okay,cool. What time?

Kaiden: Starts when the sun goes down.

Bradon: Alright,cool. See ya then.

(He leaves Jeremy's room, and Kaiden walks him out. Jeremy sits down in his egg chair,and starts reading my book I let him barrow called "Secret Fire")

Cathryn: You're having a part?

Jeremy: Yeah,so?

Cathryn: Didn't dad say no parties while he was gone?

Jeremy: Listen, dad isn't here and i'm incharge. I'm an adult so I can throw a party if and whenever I want too. So if you and your boyfriend will keep your mouthes shut, daddy won't know now will he?

Cathryn: Whatever.

Jeremy: Oh, and if you do tell dad,then I'll tell him that you're on birthcontroll pills without his permission.

Cathryn: (I'm shocked at what Jeremy had told me, I had know idea that he knew about that) How did you know about that?.

Jeremy: (He took out the pack that had my pills in it out of the book) Looks to me like you tried to hide them in your book. (He tosses the pack at me and I catch it)

Cathryn: (I'm so embarrassed that Jeremy caught me) How can this day possibly get any worse?. (I'm upset and lay my head down on James's chest)

Jeremy: You're grounded for a week.

James: I think it just did.

Cathryn: What?!? Jeremy thats not fair. Theres nothing wrong with taking these pill,they just help protect me.

Jeremy: You went behinde mine and dad's back just to get those fuckin pills. How in the hell did you even get your hands on them, without having an adult with you.

Cathryn: I did have an adult with me.

Jeremy: Who?!

Cathryn: James's mom was with me.

James: This is starting to get kind of awkward,so im going to go put the ice pack up,and leave you two alone. (James gets up out of the bed,and leaves Jerem's room)

Jeremy: (he has an evil smile on his face,like he got an idea from the book or something) You know what I got a better punishment. You're going to be my servant at my party tonight.

Cathryn: WHAT?!?

Jeremy: Its either that or you grounded for a whole week.

It did seem fair too me,I guess. I would rather be a servant just for one day,rather than being grounded for a whole week.

Cathryn: Fine. I would rather be your servant,than be grounded.

Jeremy: Okay,good. Oh yeah, your not just my servant your anyone's for whom comes to the party. You'll be cleaning up after us, and getting us what we want.

Cathryn: Fine,whatever. Who all is coming over tonight?

Jeremy: Well you already know that Bradon is coming. Jordan, Trey, and Logan are also comming over.

I was disugusted to hear that Logan was coming. I hate him,as he hates me.
I don't know why he hates me. I just hate the way he always has to find some way to humiliate me.
Cathryn: Yep,my day just keeps getting worse by the minute.

Jeremy: You better be nice too him.

Cathryn: The only reason why I'm not nice too him is because he always irritates me to death. Hes the one that needs to be nice too me.

Jeremy: Whatever. You need to take a nap so you can feel better for the party.

Cathryn: K, whatever. (I was wanting to get up and take a shower, but I was so exausted that I fell asleep)

While I was asleep I had the best dream. Jeremy,my mom,and my dad were in it. We were all togeather again as a family. We were all at the beach having a fun time,playing volly ball. Even James and Kaiden were there. We were all one big happy family.
Hours have went by, my dream was then inturrupted by Jeremy shaking my shoulder.

Jeremy: Cathryn,wake up. Its almost 6:00.

Cathryn: (im groaning because I don't want to get up) I don't wanna.

Jeremy: (spanks my butt) Get up,now. You need to go take a shower to get the pool water off of ya.

Cathryn: Okay, i will.

Jeremy: (Jeremy is fed up with having to wait on me, and disrespecting him)Alright,looks like wer'er gonna have to do this the hard way.(Jeremy picks me up carrying me like a baby in his arms.)

Cathryn: Jeremy,no. Please put me down. (hes ignoring my order) I can walk ya know.

Jeremy: Fine.(We are now in in my room,and he puts me down) Go to your bathroom, and take a shower. Now.

Cathryn: (I'm annoyed from Jeremy bossing me around) Okay.
(I go to my bathroom,and slam the door shut infrot of Jeremy's face)

My bathroom is very desent.Its a 400x300 master bathroom. My mom decorated my bathroom for me by herself.On the left side of the walls where my bath tub is, she painted the walls dark ocean blue, and made it look like as if you were under the ocean.She painted dophins, sea lions, sea otters, sea horses (my favorite sea animals), clown fish, and angel fish(my favorite fish) swimming happily under the ocean.On the right side where my toliet and sink were,she decorated it Artic theme. Starting split down the middle off the walls,she painted the water,and had polar bears,penguins (my favorite artic animals), and more sealions swimming happily under the ocean. Starting at th middle and stoping at the ceiling she painted glaciers floating ontop of the water,and more penguins and polar bears playing in the snow.
I have a white marble bathtub with a silver shower head, my cabbinets, sink, and toliet are also white marble.
Minutes have gone by,and I'm now done with my shower. I step out of the tub,grabb my towel hanging from the silver rack on my wall, dry myself off, and rapp it around my body. I leave the bathroom,going into my room.
My bed room is a 500x400 master bed room. My walls are painted bright lime green,and saphire blue (my favorite colors). I have a black Espresso Contemporary Queen Size bed,with lime green and blue swirling tie dye bed spread. Just like Jeremy's bed, mine also sits laying against the front, between my window, and the sliding glas door that leads to my own private balcony,and facing in the doorway. I have an egg chair that sits over in the upper left corner (the color of outer shell is white,and the inner shell is orange.It also came with a footstool.) I have a rubik cube nightstand,that sits on the left hand side,next to my bed. On the left hand side on the middle of the wall,are two book shelves that are shaped like Mr. and Mrs.Pac Man. I have a black plasma screen t.v, the lays on the wall facing my bed.
As I walked out of the bathroom door into my room, I see laying on my bed, the long black maid's dress with full light pink apron and mop cap,that I only wore once for a school play. I was wondering why and how did it get on my bed. Jeremy without knocking,walks in my room.

Cathryn: (I was embarrassed having my brother see me with only just a towel on)Jeremy,can't you knock?.

Jeremy: Sorry,I was just coming in to see if you were out of the shower yet. (point at the dress laying on my bed) See the clothes I picked out for ya. (he gives me an evil smile)

Cathryn: What?!? No!. I'm not wearing that.

Jeremy: Yes you will. Unless you want to be grounded for a week. I'm pretty sure that if I tell dad than he might ground for more than just a week.

Cathryn: (I give up trying to get what I want) Fine, you win.

Jeremy: As I always do. Now go into your bathroom and put that dress on,I'll be waiting for you out here incase if you need help zipping it up.

Cathryn: Okay. ( I go back into my bathroom)

I can't believe that he was actually making me wear that stupid dress again. The only reson that I had to get this dress,was because I played one of the maids in the broadway show "Annie" . I know it may sound silly,but the reason I hate this dress is because, i hate wearing dresses and on top of that it has pink on it,and I hate pink (I would have bought a white one,but the pink ones were the only ones left). Eventhough everyone said that I looked cute in it,I still felt humiliated wearing it infront of a thouasand people. And know it feels like dejavu all over again.
I take my towel off and start drying my hair with my blow dryer. My hair was now dried and brushed. I put my white pantyhose on, and I slipped into the dress. I was hoping that I wouldn't need Jeremy's help,but he was right. I couldn't get the zipper to go all the way up. I walk back into my room,and see Jeremy waiting for me, sitting on my bed.

Cathryn: Jeremy,can you please help me zip it up?

Jeremy: Ofcourse. (I turn around,to have my back facing his front,and he zips my dress up,and ties the strings from the apron into a bow) You need to put these heels on. (He hands me black high heels,with white leather lace on them. Know that I was too clumsy to wear high heels,I put them on any way because I was too tired to try to fight too get what I want)

Cathryn: I feel so humiliated.

Jeremy: (he turns me back around to face him) Don't feel that way. You look adorable. ( He trys to put the mop cap on my head,but I back away)

Cathryn: Jeremy,no. Please don't make me wear that.

Jeremy: (He grabbs my wrist pulling me back towards him) Stay Still. (He puts the mop cap on my head,and tied the stings together in a bow. He takes me infront of my closet door,so I could dee myself in the mirror)

Cathryn: (I'm shocked and humiliated at what I see) Oh my god. I'am not going out there looking like this.

Jeremy: (laughs at my expression) Yes you are. (he grabbs my wrist to try to make me leave my room)

Cathryn: No,I'm staying here. Jeremy let me go.

Jeremy: Listen,theres nothing to worry about. The only people that are in the living room is Kaiden and James. Now come on. You have to be out there to open the door for them.

Cathryn: No,I'm not going. (Jeremy gets fustrated at me. He picks me up and carries me over his shoulder.I starts kicking my legs,and hitting his back to make him put me down) Jeremy put me down!

Jeremy: (He spanks my butt) Cathryn,stop it! (He raps his arm around my legs to make me stop kicking. Were now in the living room and he sits me down next to James and Kaiden on the couch)