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-   -   Are desperate male subs driving female members away ??? (https://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=276290)

bleonav06 09-18-2016 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cacti (Post 2425952)
This doesn't have much to do with the thread, but I'd argue that it's primarily the older people of the internet that don't understand how to do this. Young people are (or can be, idk about other places in the world) taught how to stay safe on the internet and create emails in school, whereas the internet is still a mystery to a lot of the older generation. Young people generally think they're invincible on the internet, so being anonymous is very important to them.

Well also, a girl (or a guy but mostly girls) should not have to feel like they have to be anonymous for their own safety on a website like this. They should not have to worry about being stalked or harassed by people on here or blackmailed. Maybe if we focused more on that than on hiding our identities then we could have more fun.

cacti 09-18-2016 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleonav06 (Post 2425964)
Well also, a girl (or a guy but mostly girls) should not have to feel like they have to be anonymous for their own safety on a website like this. They should not have to worry about being stalked or harassed by people on here or blackmailed. Maybe if we focused more on that than on hiding our identities then we could have more fun.

I agree, but the internet simply isn't as innocent as that. I wish we could all have fun on our favourite websites and not have to worry about our safety and anonymity, but there will always be creepy assholes there to prevent that from happening. Girls do face the absolute worst of it one websites like these and despite using them for a long time it still disgusts me the way guys beg for their attention, but they just don't stop coming I'm afraid.

I've also yet to encounter a website that has a good solution to the PM problems discussed in this thread, but it just seems impossible to completely filter out all of the shitposts. On this website, there is an option to only receive PMs from contacts and mods but I understand why some people don't like the idea of that.

DJ-playmate 09-18-2016 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleonav06 (Post 2425964)
Well also, a girl (or a guy but mostly girls) should not have to feel like they have to be anonymous for their own safety on a website like this. They should not have to worry about being stalked or harassed by people on here or blackmailed. Maybe if we focused more on that than on hiding our identities then we could have more fun.

You really need to worry about your safety just about anywhere on the Internet. Several years ago, while I was in grad school, I had an argument with someone in a news group who tracked me down using just my email address and a paper I wrote that was posted on the net, and he made some trouble for me.

On a website LIKE THIS you say... websites like this are magnets for creeps, fakes, and flakes. I am active on a number of adult and fetish websites and getDare has a pretty high ratio of dubious characters in my experience. Any place where there is adult content and free accounts is a place where you want to protect yourself as much as possible.

bleonav06 09-18-2016 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ-playmate (Post 2426068)
You really need to worry about your safety just about anywhere on the Internet. Several years ago, while I was in grad school, I had an argument with someone in a news group who tracked me down using just my email address and a paper I wrote that was posted on the net, and he made some trouble for me.

On a website LIKE THIS you say... websites like this are magnets for creeps, fakes, and flakes. I am active on a number of adult and fetish websites and getDare has a pretty high ratio of dubious characters in my experience. Any place where there is adult content and free accounts is a place where you want to protect yourself as much as possible.

Yes I understand this, but my point is that this is a problem and we shouldnt have to be struggling to protect ourselves and using fake emails and accounts just so that some creepy guy can't stalk us

DJ-playmate 09-18-2016 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleonav06 (Post 2426076)
Yes I understand this, but my point is that this is a problem and we shouldnt have to be struggling to protect ourselves and using fake emails and accounts just so that some creepy guy can't stalk us

I agree with you that it shouldn't be a problem, but it's been a problem for ages and probably always will be. Earlier I talked about having paid accounts to reduce creeps and trolls, but on one of my sites that has paid premium accounts, there are actually trolls who make multiple paid accounts, at $20 each mind you, so they can troll with less fear of getting deleted (premium accounts are harder to sanction on that site).

Ironically, it's not only anonymity (or, better said, pseudonymity) that protects us when needed, it is the anonymity of the Internet that allows the worst elements of society to flourish unchecked. People have proposed a space on the web where you need to register your real identity to have an account and use protected sites, but obviously a site like this would die in such a space.

bleonav06 09-18-2016 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ-playmate (Post 2426090)
I agree with you that it shouldn't be a problem, but it's been a problem for ages and probably always will be. Earlier I talked about having paid accounts to reduce creeps and trolls, but on one of my sites that has paid premium accounts, there are actually trolls who make multiple paid accounts, at $20 each mind you, so they can troll with less fear of getting deleted (premium accounts are harder to sanction on that site).

Ironically, it's not only anonymity (or, better said, pseudonymity) that protects us when needed, it is the anonymity of the Internet that allows the worst elements of society to flourish unchecked. People have proposed a space on the web where you need to register your real identity to have an account and use protected sites, but obviously a site like this would die in such a space.

You mean like paypal?

DJ-playmate 09-18-2016 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleonav06 (Post 2426098)
You mean like paypal?

Well not quite. It has been proposed that people can choose to verify their identity with their ID and log on using a card with a chip in it and a PIN. I have something like it at work. When I log on, that card has my info on it, I can't fake who I am to the system. Assholes aren't just a problem here, it's a problem on Facebook, on comment sites everywhere, on review sites... the idea is that if I post a message as John Q. Doe, email address [email protected], and everybody sees that because it is tied to me log-on, I am going to be civil because there can be consequences if I post really rude, false, or inflammatory stuff.

Runesmith 09-18-2016 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bleonav06 (Post 2426076)
Yes I understand this, but my point is that this is a problem and we shouldnt have to be struggling to protect ourselves and using fake emails and accounts just so that some creepy guy can't stalk us

You have to protect yourself using fake emails and accounts. You also have to lock your doors and windows when you sleep. You also shouldn't leave your valuables unattended.

There is no utopia. We all need to take care of ourselves, or face the consequences. Those who can't take very basic precautions to protect their identity shouldn't be on the internet in the first place.

Dom Male 09-18-2016 11:12 PM

Unwanted attentions
 
As with all sites it is going to happen. There are those who come here to spam, those who come here for drama, and then there are a few of us who are here for the lifestyle.

Maybe a greeter system, where a select few are assigned the job of welcoming new members, advising them about how to use the site responsibly, and warning about the "unwanted" attention and how to deal with it.

While I have been a member for a few years, I have not had a huge amount of interaction due to rl getting in the way. That being said I have made a few friends here, who I regularly interact with.

Hopefully we can get the site back to the greatness it was intended for.


Just my 2 cents worth.

bleonav06 09-19-2016 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Runesmith (Post 2426423)
You have to protect yourself using fake emails and accounts. You also have to lock your doors and windows when you sleep. You also shouldn't leave your valuables unattended.

There is no utopia. We all need to take care of ourselves, or face the consequences. Those who can't take very basic precautions to protect their identity shouldn't be on the internet in the first place.

I dont lock my doors, dorm room, car or anything like that. Maybe we just grew up in 2 different places

Sam~ 09-20-2016 05:34 AM

I'm not sure will ever find an answer to this. I mean to be fair I probably don't get it as bad as younger girls in their late teens / early 20s as I'm sure they will get more attention than someone approaching 30 lol

But as a relatively open switch / dome I do still get a fair few annoying pms, some I can hardly believe! Doesn't seem to matter how many times I say I have a sub and don't want another.

I do understand it is tough for some guy's, due to the ratio of sub guy's and dome girls, but I can't really help that.

But another thing that hasn't really been mentioned here that I find annoying is when I'm in chat. The number of pm requests and whispers I get, which I find frustrating when I'm trying to chat too others.

I still don't know why there can't be a permanent ignore feature in chat, why when you leave and then come back it no longer ignores them. As it is very annoying to have to re-ignore someone every time they turn up in chat. This would not solve the problem, as most are different people, but would help.
(on a side note would also help me not to have to see a certain person's ass, who insists on posting pics in chat sometimes several times a day!)

RiskyFlame 09-20-2016 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samishere (Post 2428192)
I still don't know why there can't be a permanent ignore feature in chat, why when you leave and then come back it no longer ignores them. As it is very annoying to have to re-ignore someone every time they turn up in chat. This would not solve the problem, as most are different people, but would help.
(on a side note would also help me not to have to see a certain person's ass, who insists on posting pics in chat sometimes several times a day!)

Because the gD Chat can't be changed. I believe it's a (what can be called) plugin.

aforapple 12-12-2016 05:02 PM

Unfortunately, that is a truth.:o

PotentialSub 12-12-2016 05:45 PM

Frankly from my (admittedly) limited time on here so far it's been the soliciting messages from people claiming to be Doms that's been the issue!

Especially the ones who automatically seem to assume that pictures are an automatic right - um no I don't know you from d***, you aren't getting images until we at least build up some sort of rapport and even then if I decide to send photos they aren't to be automatic, or an inherent part of the scene, and will maintain my anonymity.

Demanding that I record a video of myself cumming for you is not a good way to prove you are a good dom during our very first attempt at a scene - especially when I'm attempting to at least vaguely stick to the anonymous/common sense safety aspects of using the internet.

MasterMichaelNY 01-11-2017 05:26 AM

Yea, well I feel for the girl, but I also get killed by the guys too, asking me to be there Master, my kik account has a huge ban listing.

As how to correct the problem, a 5.00 annual card to a credit card would work, or even a dollar. Prove the person ID, gets rid of the minors, and stops people from making fake accounts or double or triple accounts, get rid of the one girl with 00 accounts. Once your banned, your banned.

Any BDSM site, that has anything free, has major crap going on. ALT has all the sweetheart scammers. Collar Space, has Everything, any type of scam, it's going down on the site. Slave Farm, well that site is pretty much dead, also is the house of chains.

I would be willing to pay 10 dollars a year, just not to have a augment with a guy telling him that I'm not interested in guys, and only women, then hear him explain, on how good he is pretending on being a women. What a pain in the ass.

Also I noticed all the women that contact me, to be there Master thru kik have 0 posts, or under 20 and have been around for a while, over 6 months, there scared shitless, because of all the crazies on the site.


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