That idea would be great, but there are flaws. I think that it would be helpful, at times, but people can easily just give a negative vote for something.

Say if Billy Bob asks Jasmine permission to cum. Jasmine is not willing to give him permission. Billy Bob begs and pleads and Jasmine says that she doesn't want to give him permission. Billy Bob becomes angry at Jasmine, telling her that she needs to give him permission, but Jasmine denies and says that she no longer wishes to talk. Billy Bob now votes for a negative vote on Jasmine's profile.

Jasmine has done nothing wrong, but Billy Bob decided to give her a negative vote anyway, making her look bad.

I agree with hornyyoungslut (well, I always agree with horny young sluts, but that's beside the point). I have been a member of forums where the reputation system is used, and it inevitably results in flame wars. People become more concerned about who down-voted them and why, and discussions get unnecessarily heated. Sometimes even threads get spawned with topics like, "Zap xxx because of yyy".

Reputation rarely helps solve this kind of issue.

As you can see form my signature, I do get annoyed by these kind of messages. I have been sent nude photos as well as desperate please to be a mistress. I don't think I have to deal with this as much as other female users do, but I do find that when I do have to deal with it, I get annoyed and then I am not pleasant for a time following. I tend to go into B**** mode and handle it that way, or I simply choose not to respond. Either way, I think the behavior is uncalled for and it can be happening on both sides.

If you know how a woman is when she goes through the dating process, I feel that is how some of us on here figure out the guys we want to talk to and the people we may eventually want to have a d/s relationship if we want one at all.

Also as a person who is not looking for anything due to the time constraints in my life, assuming everyone on this site is either a dom, sub, a switch, or some version there of, is the wrong assumption to make. My original interest in this site was just because I wanted to try some things that I have not really tried before and I wanted to have another person involved so that I didn't have to keep coming up with dares and tasks for myself. My intention when joining was not to form a d/s relationship, it was mainly to learn, read, and try new things.

As far as preventing this though, I agree with others. I do not think there is an effective way to get rid of this problem especially when people do not read signatures and rules. I tried the red text in hopes that it would persuade people against contacting me throughout pm, but it has also limited the contact with people that I have at the same time.

Wow, did I ever open a can of worms, but in my opinion it needed opening.

I have just flash read the on going conversation and although it has wondered around a bit, it is noticeable that not a single mod has replied but, that doesn't mean they are not reading this thread.

Create your own button, I didn't know I could. I am not computer literate when it comes to creating things and that why it takes me forever to do anything. With respect there will be males and females just like me on this site.

An auto reply f.o. and die message sounds fun and it was suggested it was simple code. I will beg to be unclear as to how that is done.

I also didn't know that you have the option to report someone but as I understand it, you have to access someones profile to do it.

I saw the idea that when someone joins they have to wait a few days or a couple of weeks to be able to pm. I liked this but as was pointed out it wouldn't bother those we are trying to discourage and probably put off those we want.

None of us want the site to be a pay site, it does work well, so why not have the idea of volunteer mods. There are people who are on the site everyday.
I am not saying give them the power that the mods who work for the site get but make them available to be able to help out when any female newbie or long term member starts getting hassled. Perhaps a signing in thread to show that they are on site and available ?

Alternatively have a simple name and shame thread to which names of people who send these messages are added?

To report a pm. Look at the very top, it's on the top right. Can do it straight from the pm, thread post, and from profile.

Don't think name and shame would work. Same thing as hornyyoungslut said would happen. So Billy begs to cum, person says no, Billy begs again and no then Billy shames the person.

The thing with volunteer mods, it likes. Long as the requirements ain't lowered down for them. It remembers that a mod stated they don't get paid so the mods are already volunteers but they probably need more.

But you got to remember, some people don't want the responsibility of being a mod. Even if of just one thing.

There are also tons of loyal users who want nothing more than this site to be at its best potential, who are active everyday, and who are more than willing to volunteer to help the mods and admins. The fact that they are understaffed with mods just makes me want to help the getDare staff even more with the issues that are arising.

If this sounds condescending, then so be it... but I'm continually shocked at how this site seems to contain a bubble of people who don't know how to secure their identity. Maybe because there are a lot of very young people on this site? Still, in 2016, you'd think everybody on line would know to make separate anonymous accounts for cyber-play outside of their regular social media and e-mail accounts. I must be missing something.

True, but i actually would not want pm to be moderated.
- it would slow down communication, moderation will take hours or more
- i would not like moderators to read all my pm. I know they can and will in case of problems, but i would not want them to be part of my communication if not needed.

I think that my idea is being misconstrued. My idea is for loyal user of getDare to volunteer to moderate reported PMs, specifically. I know that mods and admins do that already, but it is not being addressed as much and is being neglected.

With these volunteer PM mods, they would not have access to reading all PMs, but only the reported ones so that action can be taken if one PM user is being aggressive, abusing the rules, and etc.

O yes,... Understood wrong.
-->> that i would support greatly!

But actually i was under impression reported pm's would be followed up already. Just thought not so much people report because its quite an emotional barrier.
Reporting someoen (even if he was jerkish), still feels like completely throwing someone from the site. Its a barrier.

Maybe allow to "penaltize" a pm.
Once someone has 10 penalties next "penaltized" pm's get published on a "shame and blame" thread.

(The fun thing, dont need a moderator for that :) )

1 penalty gets substracted per week.

I dont think that shame and blame threads are allowed on the site

My idea for people who abuse the power of the PMs and use it as an outlet to break getDare rules is that the PM mod would give the wrongful user a warning that their actions/words will not be tolerated and give them a temp ban from using PM for the day.

Well, we could name that thread the:
"Look at the nice message i got" thread.

After all, nothing on that thread would be something the poster typed, it would just be something the sender typed.

Thinking about the idea,
If only we had a button in the pm system next to the reply button: [post this pm on the "look at the nice message i got" thread].

I would support that

This doesn't have much to do with the thread, but I'd argue that it's primarily the older people of the internet that don't understand how to do this. Young people are (or can be, idk about other places in the world) taught how to stay safe on the internet and create emails in school, whereas the internet is still a mystery to a lot of the older generation. Young people generally think they're invincible on the internet, so being anonymous is very important to them.