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-   -   Are desperate male subs driving female members away ??? (http://www.getdare.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=276290)

Joker50 09-17-2016 03:24 AM

Are desperate male subs driving female members away ???
 
I had one desperate girl, not long ago, write me and thank me for the dares but she was getting out of getDare because of the number of requests to be a guys mistress and when she said no it turned into hateful abuse.

She was fun, she has gone. So I wanted to know how bad it was.

First I watched signatures of new female members who were looking for fun. Initially it may not say that person is not looking to be owned or own someone, but it very quickly gets added to the signature.

Next I wrote to some of the girls for feedback. New members initially and then a couple of the older female members and the pattern quickly emerged.

A thread would be posted asking for dares.
PM box would light up like a roman candle with requests to be owned. In boxes would get filled up. (Within minutes in some cases, depending on time of day.)

Reactions varied:

1. Some ignored the requests and the follow up shit that came through but stopped general play until it calmed down. The ones who took this action are generally 21+
2.Some ignored the requests and deleted the requests, even if it meant that he stubborn ones had to be deleted several times over
3. Some were polite in saying no and would then receive abusive/hate mail in return.
4. Others went underground and kept in touch with the few people they had met, until they felt they could emerge and enjoy the site without hassle.
5. And the final group? they wouldn't have replied because there was only ever one message on their thread, the request for fun and the public reply of, do you want to be my mistress?

This is not good guys. Kink Talk is already a predominantly male site and most of the girls except mistresses stay away from it.

Do you really want getDare to be the same ?

Come on girls/mistresses share your experiences.

hornyyoungslut 09-17-2016 07:32 AM

I wouldn't say that they're "driving me away" but they're making my experience on getDare less exciting, annoying me, and sometimes even cause me to take breaks.

There are a lot of things that desperate submissive males do on getDare that push people away from this site. Here are just a few:
  • The basic "looking for a mistress kik me @ ______" spamming PMs
  • Sending a dare that is against my limits, and tell me to send one back "if I like it"
  • Spamming threads of the same dare because no one replies
  • Posting "ads" but only posting their kiks
  • Sending several PMs throughout the day or week
  • "I need permission to cum mistress" PMs
There are so many other things that annoy me on the daily basis. I wish that they would realize that they are impacting the site tremendously, how their actions are causing many users to become inactive and quit, etc.


And sometimes, when they don't get their way, they become aggressive & rude. That's the worst. I don't feel like getting attacked because I'm not willing to be a mistress to a random stranger, because I'm not willing to send a PM back, because I'm not willing to do everything they want me to do. It's honestly unfair.


But that's just me.

Runesmith 09-17-2016 08:41 AM

I hope everyone knows there is such a thing as an ignore list. Use it. I do.

sir stefan 09-17-2016 09:05 AM

Well,.. it sucks... I can only hope the nice guys are able to make up for the others.

mhh, would be nice to have a "quick fuck-off reply button"
like:
- you can make custom text
- just press that button to respond with that text
- and next time response of that guy comes into "fuck-off mailbox"
(you may never read, but if bored you could)

you could make custom text like:
"you are a stupid asshole not to read my profile before pm-ing, next time you wil be banned"

Wolf007 09-17-2016 09:26 AM

Even being a male, i've gotten some weird pm's...some guy kept asking my kik and wanted me to "use" him, just didn't answer though.

So i can surely believe that girls here regularly experience harassment. It's so sad. Makes me mad actually.
They fuck it up for the good guys here...luckily i think there are lots of good ones to though.

That being said...i'm not sure what there can be done about it.

DJ-playmate 09-17-2016 09:30 AM

male aggression
 
it has been my experience throughout life that on any site where males and females interact, it is dominated by males and males pretending to be females. The number of real females is usually pretty low. I've also noticed a pattern where most of the males seem desperate and childish, while the real females have their pick of men and are usually in no hurry to instantly give themselves to a play partner. The true females usually lay low or else they are the ones to initiate any play.

This site is no different. I have had a few great experiences here with women who were kind enough to verify they are female (it doesn't take much and there's no risk if done properly), and I've also been catfished on this site more times than on any other sites combined.

Keep in mind that I am a straight male who only plays with females, so my explanations have been in that context. No offense to trans people or gender-fluid or gay people. When I'm talking about fake females I'm talking about men who create an account and pretend to be a natural-born female for the purposes of fooling men.

Best,
DJ

messysissy 09-17-2016 10:10 AM

Could a possible solution be to limit Private Messages to people with other a certain amount of posts or people who have been active for a set amount of time?

DJ-playmate 09-17-2016 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by messysissy (Post 2423420)
Could a possible solution be to limit Private Messages to people with other a certain amount of posts or people who have been active for a set amount of time?

I'm on another site where if 20 different people report a user's PMs, their account gets suspended and possibly deleted. However, persistent trolls will just create new accounts.

I guess I'm a bit cynical--it has always been this way and I expect it to continue to be this way. It's the nature of humanity. I don't see any realistic solution that isn't also an undue burden on legitimate users.

The only other option is to make paid membership sites--which will have far fewer people and perhaps just as many idiots anyway.

sir stefan 09-17-2016 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by messysissy (Post 2423420)
Could a possible solution be to limit Private Messages to people with other a certain amount of posts or people who have been active for a set amount of time?

Nahhh what would be the limit?
Guess you cannot really Block the pm for more then 2 wks. So, 50 posts?

My pet and myselg received horrible spam from a very active guy, 500 post or so

bleonav06 09-17-2016 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Runesmith (Post 2423344)
I hope everyone knows there is such a thing as an ignore list. Use it. I do.

well the thing is that there are so many people that do it so I add them to my ignore list but then more new ones do the same thing. I wouldn't saying that it is driving me away but its a negative of the site.

messysissy 09-17-2016 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sir stefan (Post 2423456)
Nahhh what would be the limit?
Guess you cannot really Block the pm for more then 2 wks. So, 50 posts?

My pet and myselg received horrible spam from a very active guy, 500 post or so

Obviously it isn't a perfect solution but I imagine it would reduce the amount of people who are around for two minutes and flood inboxes.

sir stefan 09-17-2016 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by messysissy (Post 2423538)
Obviously it isn't a perfect solution but I imagine it would reduce the amount of people who are around for two minutes and flood inboxes.

Thinking more about it,
It probably could work (a bit),
But not in postcount.
Some people post more then others
And postcount would actually encourage spamposting.

But simply enable pm only after 2 weeks.

This will have extra benifit that those who make new account after being banned will have to wait 2 weeks before they can pm again

hornyyoungslut 09-17-2016 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by messysissy (Post 2423420)
Could a possible solution be to limit Private Messages to people with other a certain amount of posts or people who have been active for a set amount of time?

I don't think that would be entirely fair. I know that I used PM alot when I first started to communicate with other users about questions. Some people just abuse the power that getDare gives them.

DJ-playmate 09-17-2016 12:47 PM

But simply enable pm only after 2 weeks.

This will have extra benifit that those who make new account after being banned will have to wait 2 weeks before they can pm again

----

That would discourage new members, and like I said before, idiots will always find a way to be idiots. This global social media problem won't go away until the nature of humanity changes.

One last point: I've noticed that a lot of bad users are <age kids (because most sites don't have age verification) or guys from countries where the attitudes toward women are more sexist and primitive.

sir stefan 09-17-2016 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hornyyoungslut (Post 2423556)
I don't think that would be entirely fair. I know that I used PM alot when I first started to communicate with other users about questions. Some people just abuse the power that getDare gives them.

Well that is true.
As said, i don't think linking to postcount is good.
But although i fully see the greatness of pm, and especially at start. I also think that it does not hurt to enjoy a 2 week initiation period in which one can learn some netiquette before being allowed on pm.

Threads and chat are still there.

Has benifit that one can check some posts on receiving a new pm


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