Finding a Dom or Sub. What to do and not to do.
 

After an experience with someone who turned out to be fake earlier. I've compiled a list.


_What to do for Doms_

1. Make sure you put GOOD DETAIL into your posts.
2. Have a Webcam to prove who you are.
3. If someone asks to see your webcam for proof. LET THEM.
4. Be polite
5. Respect your slaves limits, let them have a break if it gets too much.

_What NOT to do for Doms_

1. NEVER ask for money
2. DO NOT deny a sub a right to see your webcam
3. Don't make noobish posts
4. Don't be an asshole
5. Never push your slave too far
6. NEVER ask to see webcam straight away, talk to them first and get to know them.

And now for the subs....

_What to do for subs_

1. Introduce yourself properly to a Dom, no one liners or anything like that.
2. If they deny a request to see webcam, LEAVE.
3. Always show respect to the Dom
4. Talk before they ask for webcam, if they ask straight away. LEAVE. They arn't worth wasting time over.

_What NOT to do for subs_

1. DO NOT answer a thread noobishly like "i be your slave"
2. Don't be disrespectful
3. Don't continue to talk to the Dom if you feel uncomfortable about them.
4. Don't activate webcam for them straight away. Talk and get to trust them.

Does anyone have anything else to add?

Hmm... I'm not sure I see the logic in making doms show themselves on webcam off the bat. Why not give them the option of keeping their faces private until they trust the slave as well?

The logic is that so the slave knows that his/her "Mistress" isn't a 32 year old Man. And the display picture doesn't count, it could of been ripped off somewhere on the internet

I'm with Rune on this one; these are simple things that people should remember but ofte don't. I would suggest adding the the "subs do" section something about good details in their posts/ads too. That one I feel works both ways.

It does work both ways. But sadly, the good posts on this site get overlooked while the bad posts get replies, and those posts find a Master or slave themselves. I really don't get that to be fairly honest

Then how a Dom knows that his/her sub is a "24 year old woman" and not a group of guys just making fun out of him/her?

"WEBCAM". It's been said before and i won't say it again

You can still record a video + play it back over a cam. So you'd have to get them to do a request on cam like hold something up, write name on paper, eat cheese

Right but you said the a Dom should not refuse to show his/her face on webcam if requested. You also said that the sub should not use a webcam from the very beggining. What if the sub requests to see the face of the Dom? Unless of course you meant tha the sub should not use the webcam immediately for dares, which is something different and I agree with.
In any case I think a webcam should be used in the beggining mutualy for the first friendly talking and before the dares, just to know who os who and I think this is what you mean.

Doms are just as sensitive with their identity as subs. I'm with Mythological on this one. Webcam right off the bat, within the first week actually, is a bad idea.

If you really want them to prove who their are... digital camera. Have the sub make a request, asking the master to take a picture with a peace sign up, or a rock sign, something out of the ordinary. My examples aren't really out of the ordinary, but I'm tired, deal with it. xD

Anyway, I just think webcam for either person before both persons know each other is a bad idea.

-Mike

That's even better.

He didnt say show the face....:D

What the hells wrong with a 32 year old man?
As long as he is not Domming a 13 year old.

It's not only children who use this site. I wouldn't mind betting that tha majority of users here are of age of consent.

Actually the age of consent for most of Europe and UK is 16. For USA its between 16 and 18 depending on the state.

Even though it would be legal I cant imagine myself having sex with a girl of 16 but at the same time if a 16 year old girl was mature for her age and there was the right chemistry between her and an older guy I wouldnt say it was wrong.
I know that there are many that wouldnt hesitate to call him a pedophile but then by law he wouldnt be considered one.

http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm - age of consent around the world
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3699814.stm - makes interesting reading.
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/ - a bdsm website worth joining if your not too young

The problem with a 32 years old man would be if he presented himself as a 21years old man or as a woman. I think Night meant something like that, although the example he picked reveals some of his personal believes about age.

Apart from this, of course there is nothing wrong with being a 32 years old man. M/s relationships are for adults anyway.

Thats is what I thought
I guess I have the feeling that a lot of the younger members have a thing about age and because and unfortunately there are a few pedos about many adult members end up getting tarred with the same brush

Why should a dom HAVE to show himself on cam but a sub not?
In fact, you seem to be saying that a sub should LEAVE, if the master even dares to ASK to see a cam?
I'm a dom and I'm 100 per cent genuine and I always ask to see a cam. Playing without a cam is boring to me, not interested in it at all.

These aren't a list of rules ... they are a list of preferences ... your own personal preferences ... you shouldn't really try and push them as rules that everyone should follow ...
And lastly what the hell is wrong with 32 year old men? This is a forum for adults, right? In fact this slave master area is meant to be exclusively 18+ right? It won't be too long before I'm a 32 year old man. And trust me... I have no idea how old you are - but if you are 16+ YOU'LL be 32 before you know it as well ... time flies... If you're the sort of person that gets scared by the idea of playing with an adult you really shouldn't be getting involved in slave/master relationships with ANYONE on the internet ... it's way to easy for a pedo to fake just about ANYTHING about himself online.

Grrr. This post has really reminded me of one of the things about the online slave/master/bdsm community that really pisses me off. BDSM, master/slave relationships are INTRINSICALLY (not sure if thats spelt right...) "perverted" (from a mainstream point of view) things. You are going to get approached by perverted people. If you can't handle that, stick to family-friendly forums.

Yeah I know.. tl;dr

My what an eye-catching post you have there! Your signature certainly grabs the attention.

I agree with you regarding both the camera (I have already mentioned before) as well as the age part. M/s is an adult thing and a 32 years old man is an experienced adult able to "play" well. M/s is about relationship not game. TorD is a game. Let's distinguish between those two.
Since there is a lot of talk about age and pedos, I am almost sure there is another misunderstanding here. Pedophilia is not a relationship between a man of any age with a 20 years old woman. They are both adults and have the right to choose. Pedophilia is to run after kids not adults. Apart from this BDSM has the kinky and pervert feature. This is why we love it. Don't try to see it as something "socially sane" and "socialy accepted" because you lose the whole concept. It is something that lots of people find exciting but very few of them would admit it.

P.S. I am a 37 years old man but I never hided it. If a much younger, yet adult woman, wants to be in a M/s relationship with me, who would have a problem and why?

As a proffesioned Mistress i say :
mistress's webcam are for trust only , the slave has the right to his mistress every month for few minutes to know to whom they are talking, mistress should never be naked on cam or its a normal relationship not bdsm anymore
ur naked body should be eft to the slaves imagine

That seems hot. That's how you realy get dominated.

Yeah, imagine thinking your 'Mistress' is a 69 year old man and is rubbing themselves watching you :p

All great advice I'm sure ...
 

... if only I could find a dom/me master/mistress ...

Wow! What's the record for a necro-post, resurrecting a long dead thread?

To find a suitable dom or sub, try reading the threads and see whose posts most match up with your own thoughts. That's a good compatibility test.

Or you can search the want ads here for a good match. If you see someone you might like, take a look at their profile and their posts. Then you might know better whether you want to actually reply to an ad, or know more what you want to include in your reply.

As for placing your own ad now, if you haven't been on the site for at least a couple months, you might be better off waiting until you've gained more familiarity with the various mentalities exhibited here. There are members of all types here. You can find someone who matches up well with you, but you can also find a disappointing number of flakes and mental midgets.

The best identification system that will preserve partners privacy is the good old picture\webcam showing a hand with a specific word requested written on it. Shows gender, wrist will give an idea of body weight (ray charles style) and requested word will guarantee it s legit.

Though weirdly i never found a woman willing to do that when it s 100% harmless and quick to do.