Opening up a little piece of me

So here I am writing a first bit about mysef. I don't know why I am doing this. Somehow I got triggered by the thread of Butterfly and some of her blogs. Triggered in a good way. And now I have the feeling I just wanted to write something and read some more.

I have seen this site multiple time before I actualy made a profile about 5 months ago. Before this I had only felt some of a submissive side of me with a dominant shell covering me.

I am not much of a person who just goes out there and meets some people. During college I have gone out to some bars, but mainly the same ones. But also here I tried to stay in the area I know, talking mainy to the people I know or they. As my study progressed and fell behind due to contacts and internships I ost contact with them.

During my study I had aso found a sport that I enjoyed. I was and still am more than chubby. But I was welcomed greatly. This sport is Rugby. They were all friendly and they even needed me. But after about 2 years of happy playing I received an injury. After some help of theripists I went back and started again. But it wasn't to be. I got the same injury. And also got a fear, until now I still can't look at some things whilst i stil enjoy watching the sport. After some more help to get me back up again, I got out of the sport with the same tears I might be having now writing this.

So after this I went through some isolation. Making contact became harder again and the hurdles I had to take to talk someone out of who I know. I still was in a little bit of contact with an online community about a game we were playing, but due to study, I didn't go online anymore. It just became less and less. And talking to family is something I do not really like. There are feelings I hold inside of me, but I can't let them go.

About more than a year ago I saw an advertisement about a game to play. A game caled D&D. A few months ago I joined another group. I was enjoying myself and got in contact with different people. But this is all through the internet. This has made me talk more even if it is just some hours a week or less. I began to open up and still opening up to some of my emotions.

And as I said, about 5 months ago I made a profile here and started posting. Here I was also trying to find who I am and what I still want to do. But it has helped me discover parts of myself. And now I am here writing this blog post. Overcoming an obstacle I do not know the height of and what lies beyond

I hope you enjoyed reading this. I felt I had to open up a piece of me, and just let it go. Just my voice amids some others and still discovering myself.

Writing and making contact is still difficult to me. Sometimes I just need a push in the right direction. In life might quickly get lost and need to be shown the way. I hope I can find my own way one day and enjoy life even more and discover who I am, and just talk to people and not only those I know, but strangers too.

Thank you for reading this if you came this far.