Re: Secret Within!
Posted 09-17-2017 at 01:35 AM by MasterDaddy02
Updated 09-17-2017 at 01:42 AM by MasterDaddy02 (Spelling)
Updated 09-17-2017 at 01:42 AM by MasterDaddy02 (Spelling)
Each of us must have those deep secrets within our heart. This is one of my secrets that I have been living with for forty years. I am ashamed to say that I almost took my life at the age of twelve. But it was my grandfather who changed my mind that day. I started to have seizures at the age of eleven years old. In the beginning it was pure hell. I didnt know if I would make it through school that day without having one. It was a new experience for me along with everything else in my pre-teen years. In the beginning, I would have one seizure everyday. But then sometimes I would have two a day. I have gran mal. Which means that I try to swallow my tongue during the seizure. It got to the point that I was tired. I honestly said that I can't handle this anymore. Each time I had a seizure. I felt like a freaked. I was taking medicine but it was not working. I still had seizures and I was still suffering. On top of that, I was a cubby teen. So I knew that I had it twice as hard as others my age. Well, each day everyone said it would get better. But it was not getting better in my eyes. I was still scared of having one. I was scared of what other people thought. So everything was against me in my eyes. On this day, I was planning to overdose with my medicine. I felt it would be best for everyone to end my life. But my grandfather took me out to eat breakfast before school. As we were seating there. He told me how proud he was of me. How he bragged about the stress that I was dealing with to his friends. That I was a good trooper with all of this placed upon me. He said how much he loved me. He said that I was his world and if I died. He would fall apart and never be the same. He said that he loved me more then I would ever know. Then that is when I realized that my life was not that bad afterall. That I would cause more pain then good to my whole family. That is another reason why, it has been hard on me this weekend.
My grandfather stood by me. But I couldn't stand by him as he did for me!
My grandfather stood by me. But I couldn't stand by him as he did for me!
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Congratulations. You are here and making a difference. Just reading your blogs suggests to me that he passed along some of his caring and wisdom, and his willingness to reach out with those. I bet you make a difference to those in your daily life.
And some of that is clearly because of your grandfather. So celebrate him every day as he lives on in you. He recognized, as you recognize, that no matter how much you wish, how deep the feelings, the caring doesn't matter without sharing.Posted 09-17-2017 at 06:03 AM by MarvHarvey 
Updated 09-17-2017 at 06:13 AM by MarvHarvey -
You had a wonderful grandfather and younshould be proud of yourself just as he was proud of you. Now you have to pass all that knowledge, wisdom and love your grandfather passed on you to someone else and his (and yours) legacy will live on.Posted 09-17-2017 at 06:10 AM by Grand.Master691
