The Logistics of Blackmail.
Posted 09-09-2017 at 01:21 PM by IceMaiden
I recently read that blackmail requires little or no trust at all and I disagree entirely. That wasn't the exact quote but close enough and I'm too lazy to go hunting for the exact one.
It may seem an odd dynamic to need trust but I personally think it requires a lot of trust. Without it, it wouldn't even be able to get started. Take for instance the fact you need some starting materials for it to even begin. Are you going to recieve those materials be it pictures, audio, videos, personal information, without little or no trust from the person you are getting them from? No. If the blackmailee doesn't trust you they're not going to send you anything compromising in the first place and then no blackmail can take place.
It also goes the other way. The blackmailer needs to trust the blackmailee. They have to be sure the blackmailee is sending them their own materials and not stolen ones. They have to trust that the blackmailee will do their best to obey. Yes, some people do want to be exposed and may use disobedience as a way to be exposed but those that don't want to be exposed? They're going to do anything so that they're not exposed. Once they are exposed, the blackmail ends and it's game over for both parties. The blackmailee is exposed, the blackmailer no longer has the power to control them. Where's the fun in that for either person?
It is risky play, I don't dispute that at all. The blackmailee doesn't know if the blackmailer wants to control them or ruin them. If they want the power from controlling them or will get a kick out of exposing them. The blackmailer could be a psychopath or sociopath and demand unsafe or unhealthy things from the blackmailee and use the threat of exposure to force them to carry the orders out.
The blackmailee could be sending stolen materials, either a stranger's or someone they have a personal vendetta against. The blackmailer could be in a whole heap of legal trouble if this is the case. Either scenario has the potential to carry a truck load of risks, from feeling betrayed or hurt, to family and friends finding out, to being outed at work and possibly fired, to jail time.
Both parties need to trust the other that the above isn't what either of them want. Without that trust in place between them both, blackmail isn't possible. At least not in a healthy and safe way. You might get someone who doesn't look at the bigger picture and rushes in headfirst, too excited to wait and consider the risks involved. For example, sending materials without knowing the person they are sending them to quite well. That isn't a safe or healthy way and that way requires little to no trust. But that has more chance of going horribly wrong than blackmail would done if researched and thought out a little more before becoming involved. That is the case with all d/s relationships though, and not exclusive to a blackmail dynamic.
Currently I am doing a trial with Jaro, with a blackmail dynamic included. He mentioned on his AMA knowing I have pictures makes him nervous. But he also mentions he is aware they are not very compromising and we are starting low key. And most importantly, he mentions he can trust me. And that is the difference between thinking it through and rushing into like in the example above.
He trusts me with the material and I trust that it his his own material. He trusts that I wont ask something stupid or dangerous from him and I trust that he doesn't want to be exposed and wants to try the dynamic because of the power exchange involved.
So again, I think blackmail requires a lot of trust. Without it, it wont work at all.
It may seem an odd dynamic to need trust but I personally think it requires a lot of trust. Without it, it wouldn't even be able to get started. Take for instance the fact you need some starting materials for it to even begin. Are you going to recieve those materials be it pictures, audio, videos, personal information, without little or no trust from the person you are getting them from? No. If the blackmailee doesn't trust you they're not going to send you anything compromising in the first place and then no blackmail can take place.
It also goes the other way. The blackmailer needs to trust the blackmailee. They have to be sure the blackmailee is sending them their own materials and not stolen ones. They have to trust that the blackmailee will do their best to obey. Yes, some people do want to be exposed and may use disobedience as a way to be exposed but those that don't want to be exposed? They're going to do anything so that they're not exposed. Once they are exposed, the blackmail ends and it's game over for both parties. The blackmailee is exposed, the blackmailer no longer has the power to control them. Where's the fun in that for either person?
It is risky play, I don't dispute that at all. The blackmailee doesn't know if the blackmailer wants to control them or ruin them. If they want the power from controlling them or will get a kick out of exposing them. The blackmailer could be a psychopath or sociopath and demand unsafe or unhealthy things from the blackmailee and use the threat of exposure to force them to carry the orders out.
The blackmailee could be sending stolen materials, either a stranger's or someone they have a personal vendetta against. The blackmailer could be in a whole heap of legal trouble if this is the case. Either scenario has the potential to carry a truck load of risks, from feeling betrayed or hurt, to family and friends finding out, to being outed at work and possibly fired, to jail time.
Both parties need to trust the other that the above isn't what either of them want. Without that trust in place between them both, blackmail isn't possible. At least not in a healthy and safe way. You might get someone who doesn't look at the bigger picture and rushes in headfirst, too excited to wait and consider the risks involved. For example, sending materials without knowing the person they are sending them to quite well. That isn't a safe or healthy way and that way requires little to no trust. But that has more chance of going horribly wrong than blackmail would done if researched and thought out a little more before becoming involved. That is the case with all d/s relationships though, and not exclusive to a blackmail dynamic.
Currently I am doing a trial with Jaro, with a blackmail dynamic included. He mentioned on his AMA knowing I have pictures makes him nervous. But he also mentions he is aware they are not very compromising and we are starting low key. And most importantly, he mentions he can trust me. And that is the difference between thinking it through and rushing into like in the example above.
He trusts me with the material and I trust that it his his own material. He trusts that I wont ask something stupid or dangerous from him and I trust that he doesn't want to be exposed and wants to try the dynamic because of the power exchange involved.
So again, I think blackmail requires a lot of trust. Without it, it wont work at all.
Total Comments 5
Comments
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Hey. Don't knock us sociopaths, we aren't all bad.Posted 09-09-2017 at 01:27 PM by AbusiveMaster 
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Obviously, I fully agree with this blog. I can't think of much to add to it. I do think that many people who love blackmail love to actually be exposed. In that case trust may be irrelevant. But that isn't true blackmail then.Posted 09-09-2017 at 01:41 PM by Jaro
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I think that the only reason it is viewed as something that takes no trust, is that so many people jump into it without taking time to get to know each other, or to even discuss things. I think a lot of the times, people who are looking for blackmail are regarded as being insane and hasty.
However, when you are actually doing it properly, when the blackmailee is giving REAL proof and material to be blackmailed with, and the blackmailer gives realistic dares, then I think trust HAS to be present. Even if there hasn't been time to build trust, you have to just blindly trust, because you have no choice.Posted 09-09-2017 at 07:00 PM by Butterfly
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*claps and gives thumbs up*
Well written. Well thought out. And quite on the nose. Nice!Posted 09-11-2017 at 06:31 PM by Blue Fox
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Just had to focus on that little bit, didn't ya?Quote:Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster
Hey. Don't knock us sociopaths, we aren't all bad.
Yes! That's not blackmail, that's "I want to be exposed but don't want to admit it so I'll get it this way."Quote:Originally Posted by Jaroface
Obviously, I fully agree with this blog. I can't think of much to add to it. I do think that many people who love blackmail love to actually be exposed. In that case trust may be irrelevant. But that isn't true blackmail then.
I 100% agree. And a lot of the time people form a negative opinion on it based on the examples they have seen it go horribly wrong and forget to take into account other factors like the relationship between the two parties or if it was rushed into/wasn't even discussed etc.Quote:Originally Posted by Butterfly
I think that the only reason it is viewed as something that takes no trust, is that so many people jump into it without taking time to get to know each other, or to even discuss things. I think a lot of the times, people who are looking for blackmail are regarded as being insane and hasty.
However, when you are actually doing it properly, when the blackmailee is giving REAL proof and material to be blackmailed with, and the blackmailer gives realistic dares, then I think trust HAS to be present. Even if there hasn't been time to build trust, you have to just blindly trust, because you have no choice.
Thank you!Quote:Originally Posted by Ze'Rehan
*claps and gives thumbs up*
Well written. Well thought out. And quite on the nose. Nice!
Posted 09-15-2017 at 06:18 AM by IceMaiden
