About Finding And Earning My Slave Designation
I have a very good friend. You could call it a bromance 
He is the greatest person I know and I am sure if he was gay or bi like me we would have definetly done something by now, maybe even ended up together for good. Who knows =P
Anyway, up till today he vaguely knew about my kinks and sexual preferences and even some of my fantasies and he's always been the one person to not only know my "normal" self but also see and accept and even embrace my whole self. (Unlike my ex
)
But until tonight he never participated in this very private part of my live.
Well, as we were talking we came across my kinks and I began to tell him that I was using getDare to help me on my journey to get to know my slutty-kinky-side, try some things out and find or redefine my limits. I told him that I am doing this to reach a level of selfawareness of my sexuality that would give me the confidence and skill to really flourish in a future relationship. One in which I can be my complete self and don't have to suppress any side of me.
As I wouldn't want to jeopardise this idealised realationship I'm dreaming of by being unsure of who I am exactly, I am doing stuff on getDare as part of my "soulsearching" (if you want to call it that).
Sadly during semester I don't have much opportunity to go online and even less to do dares in privacy and with the time to really get into it. And I was telling my friend how I am only making baby steps since my jump in the cold water when I started on getDare during holidays with all the time in the world (you may read up on it HERE if you like)
He summarised it like this:
He said it looks like I am cought between two extremes. When I started on getDare I had a plan and it led to some detailed and intense sessions with great results in getting to know my self. But I had to find out that I tend to overdo it. I sometimes don't hold on to listen to myself and just keep pushing myself. So far that if I was my own slave I sometimes would have screamed "RED" but the master side of me didn't hear it. It made me realise that there are many things I did and do in my life in which I subconsciously choose to ignore the signs and cries for help my body and my soul is giving me and keep pushing through.
That was the one extreme that shook me up quiet good in my first month on getDare.
The other extreme is that right now I don't have that much time but also have no plan at all. I kind of overdo it to just go as far as I can trust myself to go.
So he had the following suggestion:
Make another plan. One that doesn't throw you in the deep end but that is designed to help you use your time and the resources, the great imagination of those darers on GD (sorry for the obvious brown-nosing, but it's true
)
So we discussed and planned together and he helped me a lot to come up with this plan: (captain double dot
)
I am a bit of a nerd and have a liking for numbers and what they can stand for. So giving me a designation was a fitting idea. It had to be a new number, something that wasn't already filled with some mathematical or cultural meaning. I went for 09463. It's mainly because for me speaking the numbers out loud in either german or english has a nice ring to it. And when I came up with it it just kinda felt... right!
And now my task is to put meaning to it. To earn it and get to know what it stands for.
The idea is that the 0 stands for a level. Currently I would have to start at the bottom and work my way to level one. reaching level nine I should consider myself a slave true to myself and knowing what my skills and limitations are when wanting to serve others. The last levels are definetly something to be discovered with the strict and caring helping hand of a dom. But right now it's about level 0.
I am searching to come up with tasks realted to things I like, things I fantasise about, things I feel strange about, etc. and they all have to do with the number(s) 9463 in any way.
So when I am done discovering something good or bad I won't just think "man, that time I did xy it was so bad, I'll put it in my limits" but instead it will be "I did xy for 9 hours 46min and 3 sec, or 9+4+6+3 times or smth like it, and it was pure hell, but now I know that I don't like it for sure and it's not because I lost control or didn't push myself enough."
Well at least that is what I hope I can say then ^^. The point being that I don't have to remember a particular situation and doubt the circumstances but only have to hear my name/designation and know: "I "09463" know this to be a limit of mine" (or even better "09463 knows that this is painful and stressful but also that 09463 can endure and be proud of it afterwards")
So yeah thanks to my good friend getting involved in my kinky life a little more than usual I am now searching for ideas and dares I can use on my journey, that evolve around my new designation. If you have any suggestions, please let me know in this thread.
Thanks for reading, for letting me share this with you, and for letting me take advantage of your graet imaginations and creativeness!
cheers GD
He is the greatest person I know and I am sure if he was gay or bi like me we would have definetly done something by now, maybe even ended up together for good. Who knows =PAnyway, up till today he vaguely knew about my kinks and sexual preferences and even some of my fantasies and he's always been the one person to not only know my "normal" self but also see and accept and even embrace my whole self. (Unlike my ex
)But until tonight he never participated in this very private part of my live.
Well, as we were talking we came across my kinks and I began to tell him that I was using getDare to help me on my journey to get to know my slutty-kinky-side, try some things out and find or redefine my limits. I told him that I am doing this to reach a level of selfawareness of my sexuality that would give me the confidence and skill to really flourish in a future relationship. One in which I can be my complete self and don't have to suppress any side of me.
As I wouldn't want to jeopardise this idealised realationship I'm dreaming of by being unsure of who I am exactly, I am doing stuff on getDare as part of my "soulsearching" (if you want to call it that).
Sadly during semester I don't have much opportunity to go online and even less to do dares in privacy and with the time to really get into it. And I was telling my friend how I am only making baby steps since my jump in the cold water when I started on getDare during holidays with all the time in the world (you may read up on it HERE if you like)
He summarised it like this:
He said it looks like I am cought between two extremes. When I started on getDare I had a plan and it led to some detailed and intense sessions with great results in getting to know my self. But I had to find out that I tend to overdo it. I sometimes don't hold on to listen to myself and just keep pushing myself. So far that if I was my own slave I sometimes would have screamed "RED" but the master side of me didn't hear it. It made me realise that there are many things I did and do in my life in which I subconsciously choose to ignore the signs and cries for help my body and my soul is giving me and keep pushing through.
That was the one extreme that shook me up quiet good in my first month on getDare.
The other extreme is that right now I don't have that much time but also have no plan at all. I kind of overdo it to just go as far as I can trust myself to go.
So he had the following suggestion:
Make another plan. One that doesn't throw you in the deep end but that is designed to help you use your time and the resources, the great imagination of those darers on GD (sorry for the obvious brown-nosing, but it's true
)So we discussed and planned together and he helped me a lot to come up with this plan: (captain double dot
)I am a bit of a nerd and have a liking for numbers and what they can stand for. So giving me a designation was a fitting idea. It had to be a new number, something that wasn't already filled with some mathematical or cultural meaning. I went for 09463. It's mainly because for me speaking the numbers out loud in either german or english has a nice ring to it. And when I came up with it it just kinda felt... right!
And now my task is to put meaning to it. To earn it and get to know what it stands for.
The idea is that the 0 stands for a level. Currently I would have to start at the bottom and work my way to level one. reaching level nine I should consider myself a slave true to myself and knowing what my skills and limitations are when wanting to serve others. The last levels are definetly something to be discovered with the strict and caring helping hand of a dom. But right now it's about level 0.
I am searching to come up with tasks realted to things I like, things I fantasise about, things I feel strange about, etc. and they all have to do with the number(s) 9463 in any way.
So when I am done discovering something good or bad I won't just think "man, that time I did xy it was so bad, I'll put it in my limits" but instead it will be "I did xy for 9 hours 46min and 3 sec, or 9+4+6+3 times or smth like it, and it was pure hell, but now I know that I don't like it for sure and it's not because I lost control or didn't push myself enough."
Well at least that is what I hope I can say then ^^. The point being that I don't have to remember a particular situation and doubt the circumstances but only have to hear my name/designation and know: "I "09463" know this to be a limit of mine" (or even better "09463 knows that this is painful and stressful but also that 09463 can endure and be proud of it afterwards")
So yeah thanks to my good friend getting involved in my kinky life a little more than usual I am now searching for ideas and dares I can use on my journey, that evolve around my new designation. If you have any suggestions, please let me know in this thread.
Thanks for reading, for letting me share this with you, and for letting me take advantage of your graet imaginations and creativeness!
cheers GD
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