My First

I was nervous that night, that much I remember clearly. He and his wife were nice and had watched me casually try out impact with a friend. They'd both said I had a nice ass and shortly after that, he started texting me.

They were looking for a girl to add to their dynamic and I was very new, so he talked about doing an impact scene with me, my first scene. There's a huge difference between the types of things I'd done previously and what he was asking to do. Sceneing is much more intense, although this is just my personal viewpoint.

I was nervous. With in person play, men tend to make me wary, which was something I expressed to him. I'm not sure how I'll react to what you're suggesting. I don't think I'll like x, y, and z. Standard negotiation, nothing too major. He knew I was a brat and that I had strong limits, at least at the time.

When I arrived at my dungeon that night, I'd come from a club that I'd been at earlier in the night, so I was a little bit more dressed up than usual. He and his wife were there and she was so sweet and we had some great conversation. He is a pretty quiet guy and I was way too self conscious to try and bring something up with him. I'm embarrassed to say that I did text him at the dungeon when he wasn't in the same room as me. I just didn't know how to bring anything up. So, I asked if he still wanted to play and he said of course.

As the time went by, he and his wife did their roughly thirty minute scene. They'd been doing impact for a while and he knew how to read her. Once the bulk of her aftercare was finished, they both came to me and asked if I was ready. I probably wasn't, but now or never, right?

I stripped down to my bra and panties, too nervous to be topless, let alone naked. I'd bought very nice leather wrist and ankle cuffs that she helped me put on after I'd put on my play collar. It's a simple soft dog collar that helps with my anxiety and with my hair in a ponytail, it helped me rock that submissive look.

I'd picked out the large St. Andrew's Cross on the play floor. It would eventually become my favorite furniture for impact, but at the time I knew it was pretty nice and other people would be able to see. He used a bit of rope and tied my wrist cuffs to the top of the cross, asking how it felt and making sure I had some slack.

I was secured, back to the room, with my head leaning against the wood of the cross. My legs were free, although I still wore the cuffs, and I tried to keep my anxiety down as I waited, not really able to turn around and look at him.

Then the scene started.

His hand wrapped around my ponytail and yanked my head back. He smelled like cigarettes and I didn't know it then, but anytime I smelled that brand I'd be taken back to that moment. I tried to pull away from him, even though it was a bit useless, but he firmly pulled me back against him until I stilled for a moment.

"Open your mouth," he growled in my ear. I was already slightly panting from how quickly my heart had begun to pound, so it wasn't exactly obedience. He held an ouchie stick in his other hand. I'd just learned about them from a previous member. It's a short carbon fiber stick, thinner and longer than a pencil. You pull back one end and snap it on the skin for a pretty intense sting.

He set the implement between my teeth, letting go as I automatically bit down. I was straining against his grip at that point, not moving, but making him constantly have to pull me back. When he let go, my body snapped forward, stick still in my mouth. I let out a few slightly garbled noises of protest, which he ignored.

I hadn't expected him to gag me, we hadn't even talked about that. It made me squirm on the cross as he began my warm-up. Floggers hit my back, ass, and thighs. Lightly at first before making the hits a little bit harder. He made the impact thuddy, allowing me to calm down to the hypnotic pulse. It was just a warm-up, letting my body get used to the pain before moving on to the more intense aspects. My eyes usually remained closed with thuddy pain, I let it wash over me. Hit after hit.

A snap of something stingy made me snarl quietly. I hated stingy and he knew that.

I felt him step up behind me, immediately making me try to pull away. His warm chest against my back made my heart pound and my eyes open. His finger wrapped in my hair and he pulled my head back once more.

"How does it feel," he taunted, "to be a brat that's unable to speak?"

My eyes were open at that point, head and back arched at the strain on my hair. "Dick," I growled back. It was slightly muffled, but the word rang out much better than I thought it would. I laughed quietly, feeling him laugh as well. It was absolutely ridiculous how much of a brat I was, but he'd only just started.

Most of the scene is a hazy blur with small snapshots standing out. When I first kicked him, it was light at first, letting him know that he was cruisin for a bruisin and I was ready to deliver. The next time he hit me with stingy my foot swung out to connect with his leg. It probably hurt me more than him, but my point was clear. That's when he started using a hammer to beat my ass.

No, that's not a euphemism. He'd bounce my ass slightly with a couple of light hits, then actually put some strength behind it. He even taunted me about it at one point, pulling my hair back and letting me know that he'd used a fucking hammer to hit me.

The scene was long and he used most of his toys on me. Canes, floggers, paddles, hammer, fists, chains, a trailer hitch, monkey paw, and some barehanded spanking. I didn't cry, but I wouldn't be able to cry during scenes for a few more months. The pain was overwhelming, broken only when he'd touch my back or ass just to see me try to get away. I drooled around the ridiculous stick in my mouth, partly furious but mostly turned on. I tried to keep my thighs together as I knew I was getting turned on and I didn't want him to know.

Eventually, I seemed to stop fighting, the pain was so much and kicking and swearing was just too much. I relaxed against the cross, letting it hold most of my weight as he continued to beat me. He pulled my hair one last time and I didn't strain against him. Instead, my head simply fell onto his shoulder, my eyes fluttering, as his arms wrapped around my waist.

I'd hit subspace and it was fucking incredible.

A wave of euphoria washed over me as he simply held me there for a moment. His hands felt extremely warm, making me more aware of how freezing my body had become. He let me relax against him for a bit before murmuring, "yeah, she's done." Probably to his wife who got up and began undoing my restraints.

He caught my arms before they dropped too quickly, gently rubbing my shoulders to allow my muscles to relax. I was vaguely aware of the saliva that was on my chest and neck having eventually fallen out of my partially open mouth. He slowly took the stick out from between my teeth, laughing softly at my exhale of breath.

I didn't know what would happen with that couple. I didn't know if I'd end up playing with them again or joining their dynamic. I didn't know how the friendship would evolve or the doors they'd unlock for me. I didn't know about the panic attacks I'd have because of them, or the giddy way I'd buy lingerie to impress them.

I just stood there, mostly held up by the husband as his wife held water to my lips and ordered me to drink. I just allowed subspace to carry me over until I had to move.The aftercare would be short, the dungeon nearly empty and I would suddenly become self conscious again and insist that I was fine and needed to go home.

I've grown a lot since that first impact scene. I've played with different people and gone to different dungeons. I will never forget that first time he pulled my hair though, the first time I finally understood why so many people love impact. I've never been the same since.