Welcome to getDare
Join the latest fashion of Promises.
Ever tried one of my fap roulettes?
Did you know about PM dares? A nice and gentle way to start playing here.
You can get a lot of PM dares by sending them in the PM dare bashing game.
Join the latest fashion of Promises.
Ever tried one of my fap roulettes?
Did you know about PM dares? A nice and gentle way to start playing here.
You can get a lot of PM dares by sending them in the PM dare bashing game.
How to get guaranteed replies - Good manners in detail - Part 2
Tags applying, communication, good manners, return rate, seeking
The article starts here.
When you PM, don't do it too early. Requests require a certain level of gained trust to be taken seriously according to their level of intimacy. Most often you have only one chance ever with each person, and the pool is limited. You have much better chances for a slave or Dom application if you showed yourself off in the public space and if you start slow in PMs. Why did you PM me? What can I do for you, what do you offer me (as long as it's not too much for the two strangers we are right now)?
Give it time! Play the ball slow, remain a contact and build up trust rather than risking it in total.
3. What you give is what you get
Don't expect respect if you don't give it. Even if you are or want or to be a submissive or slave, on a communication level you need respect to get an answer.
But I also mean the conditions you put on the one you are looking for. I totally get what heterosexuality and homosexuality mean, especially for you if you are looking for only a Mistress, or only a Master, or only a female sub or only a male slave. It's alright. You are allowed to be as you are. Though I have my opinion on sexism and the sexual objectification it comes with, my advice here is just another kind of awareness:
No matter what and how many conditions you put on the contact you are seeking, think about it. For instance, you could be looking for a harsh mistress with good looks who shares her pictures with you, is willing to voice and video chat, finds you adorable and a joy to dominate you, is aroused by your submission, is experienced and demanding, young and good looking, dresses in tight, sexy cloth to show off her solid breasts and arousing ass, and wants all of you 24/7, lives near you or is willing to move to you or pay your life to have you move to her, and takes much time for you. Now, what are your chances to find such a person? How many candidates are you going to find that fit all these conditions or even most of them? Next, for each candidate, how many competitors do you have, including the option that you are just not good enough against having no slave at all? What are you offering in value and met conditions that the ideal you seek would possibly value? You probably overestimate anything you bring to the table and underestimate other values you have or can develop.
Now, don't take me wrong! The worst would be not to try at all. But be aware that you always have two options to raise your chances. Use both as good as you can! First of all, you can lower your expectations? What conditions are necessary to get into contact and have a healthy relationship with you? Don't cut back too much. Gender is pretty important for the most common sexualities. But for instance, would be overweight that bad? Is it too much asked that you allow your contact to be a human being with human, real life needs and own personal preferences?
Secondly, improve yourself. Without beauty surgery, you can work out and improve the fitness and the general physical look of your body. Get in shape or stay in shape. Same goes for your character mind, the heart and soul, often underestimated. Read frequently! Always strive to learn something new! Decrease your suppression degree of your feelings, get in line with them and drag energy from having them. Accept your character flaws and dark sides and reintegrate them in a positive way. Sing, dance, meditate or pray. Do something spiritual, for your soul, and if it simply means taking a walk. Learn to play an instrument, paint or craft, whatever suits you. Have hobbies, free-time activities, remain real life friends and a social life. Care for yourself, especially if you seek to become property. Make yourself valuable. Open up, express yourself, be humble.
4. Know yourself, change your dreams
As a last advice, become of the greatest pretender of history: our ego. We all are far away from knowing ourselves, and it shows. When you start out that new beginning comes with a lot of myth, dangerous expectations, fantasies and usually a lot of arousal and wild imaginations, while you miss out some of your important needs. Most often a fantasy coming true is very different in real.
Give yourself time. Try things out, BUT one step after another. Start small. You can go bigger anytime. The most common mistake is to way too much way too early (again). Make experiences. Learn from them. Adapt your preferences and personal notes, and share these changes in your communication. Explore your fantasies, but think twice about what they mean in reality. Care for all the dangers and other issues related. Adapt your dreams and goals for what is reasonable and works in practice, and keep the fantasies which don't work out like those.
Again, your contacts will look for and notice how much you know yourself or not, and probably make their decision to take the effort to reply or not also on that.
I hope this long text helps you to get along and get what you are longing for in the long run. Feel free to leave feedback in a comment and help me to improve the text. Share the link if you liked it and found it helpful, for example in your signature.
When you PM, don't do it too early. Requests require a certain level of gained trust to be taken seriously according to their level of intimacy. Most often you have only one chance ever with each person, and the pool is limited. You have much better chances for a slave or Dom application if you showed yourself off in the public space and if you start slow in PMs. Why did you PM me? What can I do for you, what do you offer me (as long as it's not too much for the two strangers we are right now)?
Give it time! Play the ball slow, remain a contact and build up trust rather than risking it in total.
3. What you give is what you get
Don't expect respect if you don't give it. Even if you are or want or to be a submissive or slave, on a communication level you need respect to get an answer.
But I also mean the conditions you put on the one you are looking for. I totally get what heterosexuality and homosexuality mean, especially for you if you are looking for only a Mistress, or only a Master, or only a female sub or only a male slave. It's alright. You are allowed to be as you are. Though I have my opinion on sexism and the sexual objectification it comes with, my advice here is just another kind of awareness:
No matter what and how many conditions you put on the contact you are seeking, think about it. For instance, you could be looking for a harsh mistress with good looks who shares her pictures with you, is willing to voice and video chat, finds you adorable and a joy to dominate you, is aroused by your submission, is experienced and demanding, young and good looking, dresses in tight, sexy cloth to show off her solid breasts and arousing ass, and wants all of you 24/7, lives near you or is willing to move to you or pay your life to have you move to her, and takes much time for you. Now, what are your chances to find such a person? How many candidates are you going to find that fit all these conditions or even most of them? Next, for each candidate, how many competitors do you have, including the option that you are just not good enough against having no slave at all? What are you offering in value and met conditions that the ideal you seek would possibly value? You probably overestimate anything you bring to the table and underestimate other values you have or can develop.
Now, don't take me wrong! The worst would be not to try at all. But be aware that you always have two options to raise your chances. Use both as good as you can! First of all, you can lower your expectations? What conditions are necessary to get into contact and have a healthy relationship with you? Don't cut back too much. Gender is pretty important for the most common sexualities. But for instance, would be overweight that bad? Is it too much asked that you allow your contact to be a human being with human, real life needs and own personal preferences?
Secondly, improve yourself. Without beauty surgery, you can work out and improve the fitness and the general physical look of your body. Get in shape or stay in shape. Same goes for your character mind, the heart and soul, often underestimated. Read frequently! Always strive to learn something new! Decrease your suppression degree of your feelings, get in line with them and drag energy from having them. Accept your character flaws and dark sides and reintegrate them in a positive way. Sing, dance, meditate or pray. Do something spiritual, for your soul, and if it simply means taking a walk. Learn to play an instrument, paint or craft, whatever suits you. Have hobbies, free-time activities, remain real life friends and a social life. Care for yourself, especially if you seek to become property. Make yourself valuable. Open up, express yourself, be humble.
4. Know yourself, change your dreams
As a last advice, become of the greatest pretender of history: our ego. We all are far away from knowing ourselves, and it shows. When you start out that new beginning comes with a lot of myth, dangerous expectations, fantasies and usually a lot of arousal and wild imaginations, while you miss out some of your important needs. Most often a fantasy coming true is very different in real.
Give yourself time. Try things out, BUT one step after another. Start small. You can go bigger anytime. The most common mistake is to way too much way too early (again). Make experiences. Learn from them. Adapt your preferences and personal notes, and share these changes in your communication. Explore your fantasies, but think twice about what they mean in reality. Care for all the dangers and other issues related. Adapt your dreams and goals for what is reasonable and works in practice, and keep the fantasies which don't work out like those.
Again, your contacts will look for and notice how much you know yourself or not, and probably make their decision to take the effort to reply or not also on that.
I hope this long text helps you to get along and get what you are longing for in the long run. Feel free to leave feedback in a comment and help me to improve the text. Share the link if you liked it and found it helpful, for example in your signature.
Total Comments 24
Comments
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Because it just happened, here a real life example. I got a PM today from a person I never recognized before. It contained no greeting at all. The first sentence was okay and contained a reference to a person I knew. The second sentence was already the first request (please make me do ...). The third sentence was 86 words long without any punctuation. Very tough to read. And it was a more detailed fantasy description. This was followed by two simple sentences.
I wouldn't have replied at all (and put that user on my ignore list if I had received another PM without having replied), if not for these three reasons:
- The reference though it was small
- I was in a good mood to read and understand it all despite the obstacle of its form and missing manners
- The fantasy was a rarer and for me personally interesting one.
So I briefly replied saying I liked the fantasy but I didn't like the form.
Later I got a reply:
- In all manners, so with greeting etc.
- A short apology for the form of the first PM
- A friendly request to reconsider
Much better.
I don't like to be fooled or waste my time. There are excuses for bad form but I cannot come up with any that are good. For example things like dyslexia, some of my best friends had it. But they took care, so they made some mistakes here and there that other people wouldn't do, but it didn't matter much. You never had as much help in fixing your spelling and grammar mistakes as today. Even if anything prevented you from writing in a readable format I certainly didn't want to bear with you and your difficult expression then since you couldn't fix it. Communication is already difficult. Still, even over country barriers, it is possible with a basic understanding of English. But if I have already start with guessing which sentence you wanted to formulate, I am sorry, I am not good enough to get along with that.Posted 01-08-2017 at 05:34 PM by CSasha 
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Another example from today: just received a friendship request from another user I only knew from one thread we were posting and interacting and replying to each other. Nothing else but that for a couple of consecutive days already. So I just accepted. A reasonable request so I accepted.
Posted 01-09-2017 at 04:06 AM by CSasha
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Yet another example: I just received a message with the title "hii" containing the text "heyy". I didn't recognize the user name at all. Only because I was curious I looked at his mostly empty profile, a newbie with no picture, just a short list of likes in his signature and nothing else (no post, no blog entry).
So I deleted his message. If he messages me again, he earns a place on my ignore list.Posted 01-10-2017 at 03:16 AM by CSasha
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Some very good points. I get quite a few friend requests from guys I've had no contact with. I'm also suspicious of guy's who ONLY have females as friends, I think they just see it as a status symbol, "see how many girls I'm friends with" kind of thing, even though they probably hardly talk to any of them. It's like they are just trying to "collect" as many as they can lol I'm not a trophy they can collect.Posted 01-10-2017 at 04:14 AM by Sam~
Updated 01-10-2017 at 04:26 AM by Sam~ -
Well spoken. I point these examples out to help people behave. Let them see what works to get along with each other and what doesn't.
Yes, trophy collecting "friends" or "contacts" is just plain bad. I can only point out no matter how good you get at pretending or gathering, it doesn't work out in the end.
There are some plenty cool users hanging around on getDare, providing awesome opportunities. That's no low hanging fruit but it's totally worth stretching for it.Posted 01-10-2017 at 04:46 AM by CSasha
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Another example: I just got a friend request. I don't recognize the user from any thread, PM, comment, blog entry or anything. The junior member account is over half a year old but has no picture. Never got a PM from this user.
So it is an easy decision to reject the friend request.Posted 01-13-2017 at 05:27 AM by CSasha
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And yet another example: this time a friend request again. I didn't have any PM from that user but he not only had commented on one of my pictures several hours ago, I also recognized him from a comment on a blog entry on another user's blog entry. Since I remembered both of them to be nice and the timing I didn't even bother to look up his profile. Accepted right away.
Posted 01-14-2017 at 07:06 PM by CSasha
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Another example: junior member, never seen before, write me a PM. No upper cases at all, no punctuation at all, a plain request to give him a dare. No reply, that's for sure. And if I get a second PM like that from him, he is going to earn a place on my ignore list right away.
Posted 01-15-2017 at 03:55 PM by CSasha
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One more example from today: Junior member with a 9 months old account, nearly no information in his profile, no blog entries, 14 posts in total, wrote me a three sentence PM, at least with 2 periods. Since it didn't contain any reference to me it felt like it came out of nowhere. Wants to be "put in his place ...". Guess if I replied.
Spoiler:No, I didn't. I was a very easy decision.Posted 01-16-2017 at 04:55 AM by CSasha
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And one more example if you cannot get enough: claimed to be a new user but his account was already a year old. I didn't recognize the user name from anywhere, but it started and ended with a formal greeting, and in between that were two nicely formed paragraphs, not too long, but with care for spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Yes, I spot that on the very first look. So I read the PM thoroughly. The user referenced to my contributions on getDare naming some in particular and thanked me for it. Then the PM told me some details about the users appropriate for a first contact, including that's users time window calculated into my local time. The request was simple.
Spoiler:Answer guaranteed. :)Posted 01-16-2017 at 08:41 AM by CSasha
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And yet another example of bad communication: "What's the dildo sizes? And speed?" was the whole message content. Where the heck am I supposed to know the context? Did you mean one of my dares in one of my threads or posts, and if so then which one? Or did you mean a blog entry? Also, which one then? Or do you reference to a picture?
Besides, bad manners at all. Imagine a real person you have never seen before asking you such a question out of nothing!Posted 01-16-2017 at 05:57 PM by CSasha
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I just got a friendship request. Unfortunately, I cannot remember the name though it sounds familiar. A look at the user profile didn't give me any clue nor an indication I could want that friendship. Hence, rejected. And for a learning, if you want to request a friendship without having been in contact since a long time, better send a PM to remind me.
Posted 01-20-2017 at 10:44 AM by CSasha
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I just received a message from someone I hadn't noticed before. Since it was polite, German (same homeland as me) I replied, with a polite "no, thank you", but I did reply.
Posted 01-20-2017 at 02:56 PM by CSasha
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I got another PM from a user out of nowhere, at least that's how I call it when I don't see any connection. Nine word groups separated by commata, no upper case. Another male slave randomly asking for a mistress without much effort, with a message he could copy for any other person he likes to submit to.
Spoiler:No reply.Posted 01-20-2017 at 06:23 PM by CSasha
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One more simple and very short PM "Let's make a deal" without any greetings or politeness but refers to an offer I made in a thread.
Spoiler:I did reply to him, though I rejected his request for several reasons which I gave him.Posted 01-22-2017 at 03:46 PM by CSasha
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Just received a PM that looked awkwardly familiar so I looked if I got it before by the same sender. And yes, I did, so bye bye, stranger. You are now on my Ignore-List.
Posted 01-24-2017 at 11:43 AM by CSasha
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Ok,..
Then one from me,
A real curious one.
From a female:
"Please send dares, i will send pics"
Not only that i have a pet and there is no reason why i should do that. Also... This lady joined mid 2015. And has 0 posts, 0 blogs.
To me thats just weird.
Really zero, nill, nada.Posted 01-24-2017 at 01:49 PM by sir sam
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Got a friend request from a stranger which I declined. Later saw he had posted a comment on one of my pictures. Still not enough for me to befriend him.
Got a PM from another stranger today. Greetings in the title, the content two simple sentences. I didn't reply.Posted 02-09-2017 at 03:21 PM by CSasha
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I did not count these so far but I got several PMs from people asking me for permission to go to the toilet or cum, referring to a thread or game that made them having to ask X people before they could do so. Some of them I recognized from their getDare activities. They all got a reply as far as I can remember.
Posted 02-10-2017 at 08:22 AM by CSasha
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Another visitor message accompanied by a friend request but this time that user had made a couple of meaningful blog entries in the past days which I had noticed.
Posted 02-11-2017 at 01:13 PM by CSasha
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Just received a submission request today. It was well formulated, polite, made reference to my profile, so I replied.
Posted 02-12-2017 at 06:22 PM by CSasha
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Today I got contacted via kik by a total stranger. Happens once in a while since I gave out my kik contact. Usually, I respond at least.
He wrote two messages, saying "Hello slave" and "send me a nude pic of you to proof me that you bow to me". I don't need to say I blocked him right away, right?Posted 03-22-2017 at 04:48 PM by CSasha
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Actually,Quote:Originally Posted by Cassandra
Today I got contacted via kik by a total stranger. Happens once in a while since I gave out my kik contact. Usually, I respond at least.
He wrote two messages, saying "Hello slave" and "send me a nude pic of you to proof me that you bow to me". I don't need to say I blocked him right away, right?
After all thoughts about abuse
It just drops in my mind....
1/ for sure this guy will send messages like this much more often.
2/ would someone actually "bait"?
3/ would that end bad?Posted 03-22-2017 at 11:00 PM by sir sam
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I guess it's the 'ask enough people and you get a positive reply' approach. I personally prefer to think he means no harm but just doesn't know better. For me it's a way too bad start to even try it.
Would it end bad? Definitely in some sort, at least it would probably end. On the other hand, people can learn and change.Posted 03-23-2017 at 01:05 AM by CSasha
