Learning curve.
Posted 01-19-2018 at 04:18 AM by AbusiveMaster
I was very flattered to get a mention in wedgibondagebabe's well written blog here - http://www.getdare.com/bbs/blog.php?b=85470 and wanted to comment. But I didn't want to hijack her blog when I added a few comments, I can go on a bit. Did you notice? I thought I noticed you noticing.
But one of her key points is one I actually want to echo. It is also touched on in Butterflies denial blog. Just because something works for one person, doesnt mean it is safe for you to do.
I discivered BDSM approximately 20 years ago now. I was 20, which might seem quite late in life to a lot of you youngsters out there, but we old people lived in a different world. The internet existed, but it was in it's infancy. If we wanted porn, we bought magazines and videos (yes video cassettes, not DVDs even.) Living in a small town in the middle of nowhere, I didn't have access to the resources that are so common and invaluable today.
I discovered BDSM in an old, long dead, java chat site. I was green, inexperienced, clueless, but something struck a chord and I knew instantly that this was for me. My first D/s relationship was online, as is the case so often nowadays. Actually, my first 3 D/s relationships were online, simultaneously. But the wonderful thing is that they were older than me and a lot more experienced.
People say I have a natural Dominance in my bearing and manner, how I talk to people, how I treat people. I tend to agree, it is my natural default state of being. But without the knowledge, experience, respect I learned from these three wonderful girls, I wouldn't be anything close to the man I am today. And it has continued throughout my life. Every single person I meet has lessons to teach me, and I would like to believe I have had lessons to teach them also.
It is always a journey of discovery, of change, of adventure. Anyone who believes they know everything about themselves, D/s or anybody else is sorely deluded and frankly dull.
The internet is full of wonderful resources, but the absolute best way is to listen intently to everyone you know. Take what you like, discard what you don't, change, experiment. When trying something new remember RACK. Build up to it safely, and above all, have fun.
But one of her key points is one I actually want to echo. It is also touched on in Butterflies denial blog. Just because something works for one person, doesnt mean it is safe for you to do.
I discivered BDSM approximately 20 years ago now. I was 20, which might seem quite late in life to a lot of you youngsters out there, but we old people lived in a different world. The internet existed, but it was in it's infancy. If we wanted porn, we bought magazines and videos (yes video cassettes, not DVDs even.) Living in a small town in the middle of nowhere, I didn't have access to the resources that are so common and invaluable today.
I discovered BDSM in an old, long dead, java chat site. I was green, inexperienced, clueless, but something struck a chord and I knew instantly that this was for me. My first D/s relationship was online, as is the case so often nowadays. Actually, my first 3 D/s relationships were online, simultaneously. But the wonderful thing is that they were older than me and a lot more experienced.
People say I have a natural Dominance in my bearing and manner, how I talk to people, how I treat people. I tend to agree, it is my natural default state of being. But without the knowledge, experience, respect I learned from these three wonderful girls, I wouldn't be anything close to the man I am today. And it has continued throughout my life. Every single person I meet has lessons to teach me, and I would like to believe I have had lessons to teach them also.
It is always a journey of discovery, of change, of adventure. Anyone who believes they know everything about themselves, D/s or anybody else is sorely deluded and frankly dull.
The internet is full of wonderful resources, but the absolute best way is to listen intently to everyone you know. Take what you like, discard what you don't, change, experiment. When trying something new remember RACK. Build up to it safely, and above all, have fun.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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(Pssst. Need to explain what "RACK" is.)Posted 01-19-2018 at 05:16 AM by Blue Fox 
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Great blog. I love learning and observing others
I also learn a lot from you my ( and Icey's) Sir.
(That Sir was for you to be nice to me later
)Posted 01-19-2018 at 06:05 AM by Heart
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Awe Thank you!!! It is true though. I'm still waiting for you and IceMaiden to finish the beyond the cafe story.... Thank you for your additions though!;Posted 01-19-2018 at 07:22 AM by Wedgiebondagebabe
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There has been a lot of interesting discussion of this in the Mentoring group. I am sponging it up. There are lots of resources on how to tie knots - the physical, but at least for me how to discuss Risk Awareness in Consensual Kink is more difficult and much more important.Posted 01-19-2018 at 10:38 PM by subScoot
