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fuzzydice70
06-15-2010, 09:20 PM
Sorry about that horrible title, I just had to do something involving zombies, because this is going to be a post apocalyptic zombie story. Yeah, I'm going there. Enjoy, or ignore, it's up to you...
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I hate canned food. I really hate canned food. There may be only one thing that I hate more than canned food, and that's the reason why I'm eating canned food.

Zombies, the walking dead. Have you ever seen a zombie movie? There are really scary ones, with really fast zombies that are super agile and strong, who can jump on top of rooftops, or climb up brick walls. Well, I am really, really glad that these aren't that type.

The type of zombies that have infected my peaceful little town are very slow, and very stupid. Easy to fool, they just shamble around until they see someone, and since they aren't very strong, we can barricade our houses so they won't get in. That's great, because right now, I'm trapped in a tiny suburban neighborhood, surrounded by zombies.

Well, you must be really bored listening to me talk about zombies, so let me tell you about humans. Humans are essentially the same as they were before the zombie apocalypse, only they can't really go outside, unless they have a tall and strong fence. The Peterson's had installed an electric fence across the street, let me tell you, that really packs quite a punch when a stray brain-eater stumbles into it. Anyways, humans are the same, they watch TV, they eat the same foods, and they even play truth or dare.

That's how I ended up across the street at the Peterson's, buck naked, and on their roof, tied to the chimney, while several zombies looked hungrily from below. I'm not in any danger, but I'm frightfully embarrassed. Anyways, let me start from the beginning.

Me and my wife are very friendly with the neighbors. When they started turning, we made a vow not to harm any of them. They're still regular people, doing ordinary things. They have basic human instinct. Why, old man Jim comes out to mow his lawn every Saturday morning! They're just normal, so this story isn't going to have any :pirashoot: or :chainsaw:. In fact, it's going to be very normal, but with the thrill of having zombies. After all, before now, I would have never danced on the roof naked in front of my neighbors.

I'm getting off track again, let me go back to the beginning of our little game.

It was a Saturday afternoon, old man Jim was mowing his lawn, accidentally running over some snack that another one of the neighbors had left. (It sucks, I really thought Bill would have made it! Oh, well, he'll be back, though he won't have much of his lower torso.) Sheila was telling me about the Peterson's new fence, and I was occasionally glancing through the cracks in the wood over the window to see it, while watching the races.

"And, Shambling Bob wins again, getting to the steak first! He'll have a nice meal tonight! the TV announcer said, as the zombies stumbled across the track.

"Darn, there goes my bet!" I grimaced looking at my wife.

"I thought you were the only one left in the pool? Remember, Joe got turned the other day." Sheila reminded.

"Oh yeah, that's right." I nodded, remembering. "So, what were you saying about the Peterson's fence?" I asked.

"They got a new electric one. That means no more boarded windows for them. They're still keeping the steel door though." Sheila told me.

"Yeah, I would if I were them. Hey, how did they get that thing put up?" I asked.

"They had it installed while you were at work. You should have seen it, the workers just drove an ice cream truck around the block to keep the neighbors busy." Sheila explained.

"That's cool. I hope that they gave them something for their efforts?" I replied.

"I don't think they had brain flavor." Sheila joked we both laughed. "Anyways, we can talk about it tomorrow, at their house. Loraine invited us over for dinner tomorrow."

"What are they having?" I asked, hoping it wasn't what I knew it was.

"Canned food." Sheila answered. I sighed, having gotten tired of that stuff a while ago.

"Oh well, it is what it is, I suppose." I gave in. "We should probably get to bed soon." We both stayed up for a few minutes and then set the alarm and went up to bed.

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Tell me what you think. It won't be extremely violent or horribly disgusting, I swear! In fact, I plan on having minimal zombie casualties. After all, I am a member of PETZ.

fuzzydice70
06-17-2010, 09:52 AM
Beep! Beep! Beep my alarm rang. I smacked it, and opened my eyes, looking at the early morning light streaming in the window. It was too early to get up on a Sunday, but I did, and I prepared for my day. My morning routine was set in my mind like a diamond in a ring. Shower, shave, brush teeth, dress, brush hair, eat. I did so in that order, then ran into the garage. I checked the outer security camera screens, seeing that the yard wasn't packed today, and hopped into my car, first locking the inner garage door.

I hit the button for the garage door, and heard it begin raising. Surely a few of the walking dead were onto me, so I put the car in reverse and backed out, avoiding hitting them. After I was clear I put down the door and began backing up again. The zombies began shambling after me, but I continued on to work, not bothering them.

I work in a regular office, doing regular office things. The company itself sells office supplies, which is somewhat ironic. It may be boring, but I like it and the pay is good.

So I went through my day, working in my cubicle, thinking about tonight. We were going over to the Peterson's for dinner. They were the last couple other than us that hadn't changed yet, and they were really nice people. They also could keep a secret, which was good, since me and my wife have a lot of secrets.

At one time, before the zombies, me and the missus would get a little adventurous, and we would play truth or dare. Anyways, one of the dares I got was to skinny dip in the next door neighbors pool (before they were zombies). I agreed to it, but before I went, I dared Sheila to come with me. So, we went outside, and hopped the fence, because we knew that the neighbors were on vacation. We stripped down and jumped in the pool, and began splashing around, having a wonderful time.

Before we know it, a light turns on in the house, and we freeze, not knowing what's going on. Suddenly, the door opens, and out steps Mr. and Mrs. Peterson. As it turns out, they were watching the house for the neighbors, and had gone over there late to bring in their mail. Now that was very awkward, but they promised that they would keep it a secret, and even let us continue our little game, but on the condition that they would get to play with us some other time.

That's what had me worried all day. The Peterson's hadn't spoken to us recently, within the past week, and all of a sudden they want us to come over? Was it to perhaps play the game, while we're surrounded by zombies? I didn't know what they wanted, but I could only hope that it was just for a friendly dinner.

Of course, that wouldn't be true, now would it?
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Comments are appreciated.

fuzzydice70
06-17-2010, 11:08 AM
When I got home, I kissed my wife and said hello. We went into the living room to watch some TV, and prepare to go over to the Peterson's. The news was blabbering on about zombies, and their recent attacks because people were too stupid to close their doors. I turned it off, and asked, "When are we going over there?"

"Whenever you want." Sheila replied.

"Well let's go over now." I decided. I went to the closet and got out two belts. These belts were specially designed to repel zombies by releasing a frequency that makes them move away. It has a short battery though, and is only used to go short distances, like across the street.

We put the belts on and gathered up everything we were taking over. I activated my belt and opened the door.

The street was filled with zombies, attracted from my ride home. To get across the street, we would have to be cunning and fast.

"Hey zombies! Look at us! We have on zombie repellent belts! You'd better get away!" my wife yelled. Not exactly what I had planned.

"Well, let's get this over with." I proposed. We began running towards the crowd. They separated, unable go towards the belts. Soon we were at the gate to the electric fence, which opened up for us. We walked in and it closed on the walking dead behind us.

"Nate!" Dale Peterson called, holding out his hand to shake mine.

"Dale you crazy bastard you!" I shook his hand and gave him a pat on the back. "Look at this awesome fence!"

"Yeah, they only touch that sucker once, and then shamble off, towards your house!" he laughed, and I did too. "Anyways, you wanna come inside?"

"Sure thing." I said.

"Well after you then." he gestured for us to go into the house and we did, meeting Loraine at the door. I could smell the ham in the other room, which smelled delicious.

"Smells great Loraine." I commented.

"Well, you can't blame me if it doesn't taste the same, Dale was the one who cooked it." she joked.

"Well I'm sure I won't have a problem." I replied. We all walked inside, ignoring the moans and the zapping coming from the fence.

"So, how was work today?" Dale asked, after we sat down at the table.

"Oh, fine. Why weren't you there?" I asked.

"Something came up. How did that meeting turn out?" he questioned.

"Not good, the CEO got eaten!" I exclaimed.

"Well, I suppose someone will get a promotion then." Dale thought out. "Maybe you!"

"It would be nice! I would like to get one of those nice fences!" I said, "So, how much did that thing set you back anyways?"

"Oh, not much, not much. It's just a dandy thing, isn't it? No more boarded windows, no more waiting until a migration to get the newspaper! Simply wonderful!" Dale stated. He sighed, "It's totally worth it!"

"Well, I'll definitely think about it." I concluded.

"That's good boys, now how about we eat?" Loraine suggested. We began passing the plates around, and began our meal.

"Well Loraine, this is simply scrumptious!" Sheila commented. "What is in this potato salad?"

"Brains!" a zombie's scream echoed from outside.

"Potatoes dear." Loraine replied, smiling. "I'll give you the recipe after we eat if you want it."

"That would be lovely." Sheila nodded.

The rest of the meal went on like that, with us commenting on things and discussing work, and blah, blah, blah. Eventually, it was time for us to leave. We went to the door.

"Well Dale, Loraine, thanks for a wonderful time." I thanked, opening the door. I looked outside, seeing the enormous crowd still there. "Well, better put it on feeding frenzy setting!" I said, reaching for my belt. Suddenly I remembered something. "Oh no!" I exclaimed. "I left my belt on! It's dead!"

"Mine too!" Sheila noticed.

"Well, you're not going to get through that crowd without your belt or a gun, and we don't have any guns!" Dale warned. "I have an idea, how about you guys stay the night! C'mon, it'll be fun! We'll stay up late, watch a movie, and, oh, I have a great idea! How about we play a little, truth or dare?" he suggested, smiling.

I knew it!:mad:

fuzzydice70
06-17-2010, 11:09 AM
comments are appreciated

tordmaster
06-18-2010, 07:17 AM
i like the way this is going, its different but good. post more soon!

fuzzydice70
06-19-2010, 07:44 PM
"Uh, I don't know, we really have to be getting home." I said, trying to come up with an excuse, although I knew there was none.

"Nonsense! If you go out there now, with or without your belt, you won't get two feet!" Dale argued.

"Honey, he's right. We should just stay here." Sheila told me. I sighed.

"So, how long have you been planning this?" I asked him, obviously having caught onto his plan.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Dale swore, though he had an enormous smirk on his face.

"Oh really? You were obviously saving that ham for a special occasion, and you made it special. You didn't think I could taste that special ingredient you put in? We went to college together, Dale, I know when you're trying to have fun, and you always put liqueur in the food." I replied.

"You didn't like the ham?" Dale asked, almost offended.

"No, I loved the ham. I thought we would be having canned food tonight from rations. The ham was great! It's just that if you wanted to play a game, you could have told me, instead of forcing me." I told him.

"Who says I'm forcing you?" Dale asked, smiling. "It's just coincidence. Anyways, we don't have to play Truth or Dare now, let's save that for later tonight. In the meantime, let's watch a movie. What do we have?" Dale went over to the living room, and rummaged through a video cabinet. He pulled out a romantic comedy and popped it in. "It's not like you can leave." he added.

"Alright Dale, we'll join you." I led Sheila into the living room and sat down on the couch with her.

144 minutes later, the movie was over, and we were up and ready for anything. Nobody had even yawned during the boring parts. We were all thinking of how the game was going to play out.

"So, are we going to do this now?" I asked.

"First, why don't we warm up a little. We're good friends, we're comfortable with each others' bodies. Let's play a little strip poker." Dale suggested.

"Dale, you know I suck at poker. Sheila's the good one out of the two of us." I gestured to my wife.

"Well Loraine is in the same boat. How about we team up, couple vs. couple? It'll be fun!" Dale suggested.

"How about we play a game where we can all have a fair chance of winning? I think we should play Uno." Loraine butted in.

"That sounds wonderful!" Sheila said, glaring at me and Dale. "Right boys?"

"Fine." I nodded.

"Sure." Dale looked a little disappointed. "To keep it short, let's do boys vs. girls, and we'll do couple vs. couple for Truth or Dare, okay?"

"I don't see any problem with that." Loraine agreed. The rest of us nodded. Loraine went to the video cabinet and below it pulled out a deck of Uno cards. She began dealing them one by one until the guys had seven and the girls had seven. "Ladies first, gentlemen." she said, flipping down the first card. It was a red 5. She put down a red 3 on top of it.

"Okay, rules are, when you side loses, you take off one article of clothing. Jewelry, socks, shoes, gloves, and any other accessories don't count. We play until one side is naked." Dale explained. He laid down a red 6.

I looked at our cards. We had two more reds, a 3 and a 2. the other four cards were a wild card, a yellow 8, a green 6, and a green 9. We were set.

The girls laid down a blue six. We laid down our green 6. The girls laid down a green 2. We laid down our green 9.

"Draw one, Sheila." Loraine pointed to the deck, and Sheila drew a card. She put down the one she drew, a green skip. Then she put down a yellow skip and a yellow 4.

"Ah, nice move." Dale commented, laying down our yellow 8. The girls smiled and laid down a yellow 2.

"Uno." both girls said at once.

Dale and I looked at each other. We could either change it to red, using out red 2, or we could use our wild card and make it some other color. If their last card was a red, we were screwed. If it wasn't, we would be alright, having only one red card and a wild card left. It would make us almost invincible.

Dale laid down the red 2. The girls smiled and lay down a wild card. We were screwed either way.

"So boys, I think you owe us something." Loraine said seductively. Both girls held out their hands.

"Well Dale, they won, fair and square." I said, lifting up my shirt. I took it off, revealing my pale chest, which had gotten that way from being inside most of the time, hiding from zombies. It was somewhat muscular though, from the rationing and the weight-set I had in my basement. Dale took off his shirt. He was tanned, from the tanning bed he had in his basement, and muscular because he would come over and use my weight equipment. He had a somewhat hairy chest, unlike me.

We tossed over our shirts, and the girls giggled. "Ready for round two?" Sheila asked. I had a feeling we were about to lose more clothes.

fuzzydice70
06-22-2010, 04:33 PM
"Yeah, I'm ready!" Dale said, rubbing his hands together. "Let's get this done!" He dealt out the cards this time, giving seven to the girls, and seven to us. I looked at our cards. Four of them were green, a 2, a 6, a 9, and a skip. The rest were a wild card, a red skip, and a yellow 5. Not bad, but not good.

Loraine smiled and said, "Winner goes first." She flipped over the first card, a red 9, and put down a red 4. Dale smiled and put down the red skip, then the green skip, then the green 9.

"Good," Sheila smiled, "but we can do better." Sheila laid down a green skip, a yellow skip, a red skip, and a red 5. "Uno." she said.

"Fine." I replied, laying down out yellow 5.

"Damn." Loraine picked up a card. She grimaced, then picked up another one. One more grimace, and then another card, this one she put down. It was a yellow 4.

"Don't worry honey, we're going fine." Dale laid down the wild card, and said, "Green."

"Why thank you." she put down a green 2. I put down our green 6.

"Uno." I said.

Loraine and Sheila looked at each other. They laid down a green 3. We smiled and Dale laid down our last card.

"We win! Take it off ladies!" Dale said, cheering. The girls looked at each other again, then peeled their shirts off. I had seen my wife in a bra before of course, but never Dale's wife, so it came as a successful moment to me. I whistled, and Sheila kicked me.

"Alright, let's move on to round three!" Dale said, smiling.

tordmaster
06-22-2010, 07:14 PM
lets speed this up a little. more than a round a chapter.

fuzzydice70
06-23-2010, 01:28 PM
lets speed this up a little. more than a round a chapter.

I'll keep that in mind when I do my next installment.

fuzzydice70
07-04-2010, 04:38 PM
Our seven cards were a yellow 6, 4, and 1, a blue 7, 6, and 3, and a green 5. The first card was a blue 3, and since we won the last round we laid down our blue 7. The girls laid down another blue 7. We laid down our blue 6. They laid down a blue 4. We laid down our blue 3. They picked up a card, then another, which was a blue 9, quickly laid down. We picked up a yellow reverse, then a red 6, then a green skip, then a red 3, and finally a blue 8, which we laid down.

Looking at all the cards we had I grimaced. The girls were now definitely in the lead. the picked up another card and laid down a blue 5. We laid down our green 5. They laid down a green 8. We put down our green skip, then picked up a blue 1, and then a red skip. We laid down the red skip and the red 6. They laid down a red 8. We laid down our red 3. They laid down a red 6. We laid down our yellow 6. They laid down a yellow reverse and a yellow 7.

"Uno." Sheila said, smiling. The girls giggled, having the upper hand still. We knew it was a gamble, but we put decided to play as much as we could, laying down our yellow reverse and yellow 4. "Shit." Sheila added as we did this, picking up another card.

"Didn't have a yellow or a 4?" I mocked, laughing. Dale high-fived me.

"Shut up." Sheila picked up another card, a yellow 2, which she quickly deposited in the pile.

We put down the yellow 1, and Dale announced, "Uno." We had one more card, the blue 1. If they played a 1 or a wild card and made it blue we were in luck. However, what happened was that they began picking up cards, until they had five, and then laid down a yellow 3.

We picked up a red reverse, a blue reverse, a red skip, a green reverse, a red pick up two, a green 8, and finally a yellow 6. "Who's laughing now?" Loraine asked, snickering as we laid down the yellow 6. They looked at their cards and then picked up several, until they laid down a wild card. Their mocking didn't help them, but they changed it to red.

We laid down the red pick up two. They picked up two and put down a red reverse and then a red 7. We put down a red skip, a red reverse, a blue reverse, a green reverse, and a green 8. Then, we both announced triumphantly, "Uno!" It was ironically the last card we had last time.

The girls laid down a green skip and a green 7. We picked up a blue 2, a yellow 2, and a green pick up two. We laid down the green pick up two, and once more they picked up two. Then they slapped down a green 3.

We picked up a green 2 and deposited it onto the pile. They put down a red 2. We put down a blue 2. They put down a blue pick up two. Our two were a yellow skip and a green 1. We laid down our blue 1. They put down a red 1. We put down our green 1. They put down another red 1. We put down our yellow 1.

"Uno!" I said. We now had only a yellow skip. If they kept it on yellow we would win!

What do you know? They put down a yellow 9! Dale and I cheered as we threw down our last card and the girls groaned when they saw the skip.

"Well, that was definitely longer than our other games, but we still won! I believe you ladies have something you need to take off!" Dale reminded them. The girls stood up and dropped their pants. We cheered again at the sight of our wives in their underwear.

The next round we got five greens, a pick up two, two 3's and two 2's, a wild card, and a blue 8. The first card was a yellow skip so the first turn went to the girls. They put down a yellow 2. We returned with a green 2. They added a green 1 to the stack. We slapped down the green pick up two. They picked up two, then put down a green reverse, a red reverse, a blue reverse, a red reverse, and a red pick up two. We picked up a green 1 and a red 9, and put down the red 9. They put down another red pick up two.

As we picked up a blue skip and a blue 5 they declared uno. We put down the wild card and made it green. They picked up numerous cards and then put down a green reverse, a blue reverse, and a blue pick up two. We picked up a green reverse and a yellow 9.

Our next move was a blue skip and a blue 8. They countered with a blue 7. We put down our blue 5 and they added a 1 of the same color. Then we put down a green 1 and changed it back to that awesome color. They obviously were not prepared because they picked up a card, and laid it down, making the top card a green 8. We combined a reverse and a three, both green, and added them to the pile. They picked up three cards, the final a green 9, now the top card. We added a green 3. They picked up and laid down a wild card, making it yellow.

We put down our yellow 9, and said, "Uno." They put down a yellow skip and a yellow 7. We picked up a blue 7 and laid it down, once more saying a Spanish word meaning, "We're kicking your ass at this game." They put down a blue 6. We picked up a blue reverse, put it down, then picked up a wild card, called, "Uno!" and made it green.

Now they knew our color, and would have to either lay down a wild card or be doomed. Luckily for them, they drew a wild card, right at that moment. "Red." they said. We picked up two cards, a blue 5 and a red 1 and put down the one that would be legal to put down in that situation. (The third one.)* They replied with a red 7 and we picked up a red 8 and planted it on the pile. They added a red 5 and announced their near victory.

Picking up a red 3 we added it to the pile. They groaned and picked up two cards, putting the second one, a blue 3, on the pile we put down our blue 5 and called, "Uno." They picked up two cards, and put down a green 5 on the stack. We cheered and plopped down our last card, the green 2.

"Yes! Bra's ladies!" I requested, holding out my hand. They unhooked their covering and unleashed their breasts upon our sight. As we quickly realized they were enjoying the game, with their nipples very erect in the cool air.

"Fine, next round, but this time, we're going to beat you two!" Loraine assured. We humored them and began to deal the cards.
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*For those wondering what the third card was, it wasn't really there I just wanted to mess with people who didn't understand the obvious.

fuzzydice70
07-04-2010, 05:40 PM
A green 5. A red skip. A red 7. A red 3. A wild card. A blue reverse. A blue 7. These seven cards were our draw and once again the first card was a skip, though this time it was green, so the girls got the turn. They put down a green 4.

We put down our green 5. They put down a wild card and told us that it was now red. We were fine with their choice, which we showed by laying down a red skip and a red 7. The girls put down a red 8, we put down a red 3, and they put down a red 1. Then, since we were out of reds, we put down the wild card.

"Let's make it blue." I decided. The girls put down a blue 6, and we put down a blue reverse and a blue 7. "Uno." I told them. The girls put down a yellow 7.

"Uno." Loraine said.

It was all down to who had what. We had a green 5 and didn't know what they had. If we did we wouldn't have picked up two cards and then laid down a yellow 1.

Because they had a yellow reverse.

We dropped our pants to the ground and then handed them over. I realized that I now had an erection but I knew there was no use hiding it because it was obvious in my boxers. I glance over to see that Dale had on boxer briefs which made his package look enormous. I looked away before anybody noticed, not having really wanted to look at my neighbor's junk.

The game was now equally matched. Whoever won this round wouldn't have to deal with the embarrassment of nudity. As the cards were dealt I noticed a bit of tension between all of us.

The girls would have gone first if a red reverse wasn't the first card up. So, we got the turn. I looked at our cards. Four of them were yellow, including a reverse, a skip a 3, and a 2. The other three were a red reverse, a blue reverse, and a green pick up two. We put down the red reverse, the blue reverse, and then the yellow reverse, followed by the yellow skip and the yellow 3. In our first turn we were down to two cards. Things were looking good.

The girls put down a yellow 7, and we continued on with our two to give us uno. If it was changed to green they would have the embarrassment of having two extra cards added to their hand as the game ended and they had to take off their panties.

Which was thankfully exactly what happened. A green 2 was their last card. They stripped fully naked before our eyes, and let me tell you, it was hot! Sheila had some nice tan-lines around her waist, but Loraine didn't she obviously made some good use out of that tanning bed.

javer03
07-05-2010, 05:05 PM
Great story, love the story theme