PDA

View Full Version : Fiction: Chopper Down


Gamers
06-08-2010, 08:00 PM
This is my first story so be nice! And yes, this story does have to do with TorD, although it might not be in the beggining. I will try to actually finish this story to as long as it is liked : P
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crawling from the debree of the once was helicopter, Brandon scanned the surrounding destruction. To his left he say what use to be the cockpit, now a mess of shattered glass, mangled metal, and blood. He could just make out the outline of the slumped figure of the pilot against the smoke. Turning his head right he saw a hand sticking our of the rubble directly in front of him. Cold, unmoving against the night sky. to his right he could see the stewn bodies of his team mates, wether any of them were alive or not was past him. He could see Shawn's mangled body in the midst of a flaming pile, slowly burning away. Finally, he looked down at himself to check for any injuries. As soon as he saw his left leg, his jaw dropped open. Covered in blood with shredded pants, what he saw was horrifying. His leg was spilling blood out over the debree, but worse than that, a large gash cut deep into his leg, cutting the skin as well as the bone. Even the marrow was showing. As he started slipping into unconsiousness, he thought about the events of the night before...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry it is so short! It is getting late and i cant be up much longer.

rdcottman
06-08-2010, 10:06 PM
no problem, this is a good story so far. please keep up the good work.

Memories for Life
06-09-2010, 02:24 AM
Not to be nit-picking, but this preview seems a ghoulish way to lead into a ToRD story! A helicopter crash, with it's mangled burning bodies and various "debris" isn't a good lead into a fun story about truth or dare. :eek:

It's a fictional story so could you just start again with just the ToRD narration? :confused:

Cuffed
06-09-2010, 03:43 AM
Not to be nit-picking, but this preview seems a ghoulish way to lead into a ToRD story! A helicopter crash, with it's mangled burning bodies and various "debris" isn't a good lead into a fun story about truth or dare. :eek:

It's a fictional story so could you just start again with just the ToRD narration? :confused:

Aww, leave him alone. It's about time we have some fresh stories on this site. Give him a chance you never know it might turn out to be one of the best stories on getdare. It's not like his spelling and layout is shocking either :p
Continue. ;)

Memories for Life
06-09-2010, 03:59 AM
Aww, leave him alone. It's about time we have some fresh stories on this site. Give him a chance you never know it might turn out to be one of the best stories on getdare. It's not like his spelling and layout is shocking either :p
Continue. ;)

As I watched my best friend screaming in agony as I watched him on fire while still alive, I realized I was smiling as I remembered the events of the night before...

As I looked at my body as I slid feet first into the wood chipper, my mind wandered to the fun time the night before....

As I slowly felt my skin melting from my body while sitting in the maniac's box of battery acid, I was able to see and hear my girlfriend's agony as her limbs were slowly torn from her body, I thought back gleefully to our fun time the night before....

Dicedarefan666
06-09-2010, 04:11 AM
He's not saying he's happy about the night before, and honestly, there are tons of cliché stories about happy go lucky TorD games, go read one of them, I want to read something interesting, so I'll watch this thread.

Memories for Life
06-09-2010, 04:50 AM
He's not saying he's happy about the night before, and honestly, there are tons of cliché stories about happy go lucky TorD games, go read one of them, I want to read something interesting, so I'll watch this thread.

Truth or Dare is originally a fun game played during gathering of friends. A story about playing a particular game will normally begin with how those involved came to know each other. This isn't a cliché, this a common prelude to introduce the reader to the characters of the upcoming story.

After reading an excerpt from a destructive helicopter crash in which his copilot is dead and the protagonist is bleeding to death himself, I would expect to look forward to reading further chapters of the events that lead to this crash. This is an excellent premise to a promising drama story but I would think it's completely out-of-place for this forum!

Gamers
06-09-2010, 06:46 AM
It's not what you think it is Memories, and not every game of TorD ends well.

I'll try to do more in a bit : )

Memories for Life
06-09-2010, 07:16 AM
It's not what you think it is Memories, and not every game of TorD ends well.

I'll try to do more in a bit : )

I, personally, have never played a game of Truth or Dare where any participant was permanently injured or disfigured. There were lots of embarrassing situations at even the most extreme game but they "ended well"!

Please don't tell me the dare was to purposely crash your helicopter and hope you survive!

Gamers
06-09-2010, 07:19 AM
I had the story planned out but I'll see what I can do to make it better for you Memories.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* flashback to the night before *
Brandon had always been a good guy. Straight in the head, focused, and never went to far. But that night, the worste night possible, he lost control.

With the music from Michael's Ipod blasting, they all jammed in the humvee duringthe ride back to base. It was a day like usual, they were just sent out to do a perimeter check. Nothing much ever happened there. When they were almost to the stopping point Shawn spoke up.
"Hey, it's my birthday today, and our shift us almost up to! Know what this calls for!? A celebration!" Everybody chuckled, something about Shawn made them do so whenever he got excited. But with the combination of the two facts, a celebration was impossible to avoid.
"Huh, I guess we could do that. We ain't doin nothin tomorrow", Josh, the super tuff guy wanna be, replied finally.
"Great! I have a suprose for you guys when we do it to!"
No sooner had he said this than the humvee came to a stop and he jumped out ans walked away. Leaving the team wondering what the suprose was.

marlow
06-09-2010, 09:20 AM
Carry on gamers and ignore the people trying to do you down. Its all good stuff - we now want to see the connection between the story and the flashback so u have got our interest. just do your own thing!

marlow
06-11-2010, 07:46 PM
we want moire Gamers!!! Plz? Its good so far but plz do the next chapter!! We are waiting in suspense and in a state of being turned on! LOL

Gamers
06-14-2010, 08:18 AM
Brandon was revived by the loud noise all around him. It took him a moment before he realized that he was being dragged by his backpack and that his leg had also been wrapped. He struggled to get his head around to look at his captor but could see nothing. He was as helpless as a fly in a web. His injured leg hit a bump and he yelped loudly. His captive stopped and looked back at him.
"Ahh, so you have finaly decided to join the living, have you? I thought I had lost you there for a bit." He had a heavy accent that Brandon could not place. As he spoke he hoisted him up so he could walk himself. Brandon turned to look at his captor as they walked. He had a yellow and red armored suit aposed to his own black suit. He recognized the colors but could not remeber what they were.
He gad no clue were they were going and did nor care either. Hecwas happy to be alive for the moment. Finally they reached their checkpoint and they stopped. Brandon instantly knew were he was. But before he could say it a rifle butt slammed into his head, sending him bak into the well of memories. The last thing he thought before he blacked out was the uniform color of his captors. He had been captured by the SkULLEN!

Memories for Life
06-14-2010, 01:57 PM
No.Sixteen Characters

Gamers
06-18-2010, 10:43 PM
Security with items coming into or out of outpost 13, so it was not suprising that Shawn was able to get hold of sone beer, which none of them had had in a long time. Brandon, the rest of the team, and a couple gals from some other teams showed up. Each of them sat, stood, or laid around, each with a beer in hand, and enjoyed themselves. As the night progresssed people started getting board, but also drinking alot more. As the night progressed Brandon started wondering about the surprise. Finally he spoke up and asked Shawn about it, who smiled for aimute before answering.
"Well as ye can see, I made sure we had at least a couple of chicks over 'ere. Reason being is I knew we would get bored later," he finished the statement after with a mischievious smile, "so I planed a little game."

marlow
06-19-2010, 07:02 PM
Getting interesting now Gamers!!! Ignore MFL - you have my attention and the attention of my member!!

Gamers
11-03-2010, 02:24 PM
o.O i just remembered i had a story! so ill continue it ; P
_______________________________________________

The Skullen were the most ruthless, savage clan of them all. Rumors have it that if a soldier or worker cannot perform his duties that they slaughter him. The most common way, ripping their rib cages off. And now Brandon was in their hands! When he woke up again, he was in a small cell, his leg had been bandaged and he felt little to no pain for the moment, but he knew he would later. He searched all of his pockets to see if they had left anything behind, looking for something he could work with. He suppressed a shout of joy when he found his hidden emergency kit, with Skullens rough treatment, they had not checked him thuroughly. It was a small thing, only made to be used once, but he only needed it once. He took out a little cloth on it, unwrapped his wound, and whiped it on the wound, has he gritted his teath, and then tossed the little sheet aside. Next he pulled out a needle and a thread, and began stitching. As he worked is wound with his equipment, he knew he would be taked in for questions later, and it would be VERY brutal. So when he finished cleaning up, he retrieved the last item, a poket knife. But this was a special kind of pocket knife, in the center was a chamber containing one bullet. For his escape, he know had, one shot.

Brandon heard them coming and quickly put the knife in his pocket. When the guards aproached, brandon faught the urge to shoot them, and let them, yet again, knock him unconcious with the butt of their gun.

Gamers
11-04-2010, 06:52 PM
Okay, here i am, now to start "the game" and the part thats actually gonna let my story be here, and wow i just realized how bad of a typer i was back then : P
__________________________________________________ _____________
With the beers starting to effect the people playing, nobody objected to the game. It was a simple game. Similar to Truth or Dare, but there was no truth, and they didnt ask, usually it was "you do this" demand. It was, Brandon could tell, going to be a fun game. As the troops sat and lounged, they bickered about who would go first. Finally they took an empty beer bottle and spun it, whoever it landed on would go first and it would go clockwise. Everyone whispered about wanting to go first, and it finally stopped on shawn, who let out a big WHOOP!
"Now lets see, which son of a gun," then he looked at the other drunken chicks,"or hoe should i pick on?" He turned and pointed to one of the girls remaining and shouted, "Sarah-cho, i choose you!" This caused everyone to smile and the girls to giggle. Then he carried on, "So sarah, you have to remove your shirt and pants," Then he smiled mischieviously, and sarah complied, even tho she blushed fiercely.
So, in the middle of the room, she quickly took off her shirt, followed by her jeans, and threw them into a pile next to her. As Sarah sat back down on the chair, trying, unsuccesfuly, to cover herself up what little bit she can. Now it was her turn.
Sarah looked around the room and spotted brandon and spoke, "hey you, you're going to..."

Gamers
05-31-2011, 03:22 PM
i decided to continue the story, but this time imma try to make it more interesting! and yes, i will finish it this time. (ps.- i know i havent spelt some things right, and hey, im not the best speller, and neither are you! so cut me some slack please.) (constructive critisizm is always welcomed along with "what should happen next" ideas)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brandon woke up with a hude headache. He was a little bit curious how many bumps he was going to have by the time they finished him. No, I can't think like that. I have to have hope. I will escape... somehow.
After he came to enough to open his eyes, he scanned his surrounding. He was strapped down into a chair. There were leather straps around his arms, legs, wrists, and neck. Well this makes my plans a little bit harder to accomplish. Brandon saw almost nothing other than a large window raised high off the floor. At the angle he saw through it he could only see the white blocked sealing. He also noticed that he couldnt see anything else. Were is all the equipment? By the looks of the window up there this is an interogation room... In that case most of the equipment is behind me, they must not want me to know whats being used on me, thats actually kinda smart.
Suddenly a voice sounded from a speaker that sounded above him. "We know who you are. Give us the information we want and we will so merciful as to grant you a quick, painless death. If you refuse to cooperate or show signs of resistance..." the voice sounded cruely amuzed. "Well..." suddenly electricity shot through Brandon's body. His limbs went numb, his neck stiffened, and his voice barely worked and he let out an inaudiable cry. Then, as suddenly as it came, It stopped. His body began to have feeling again as the voice spoke again. "Now that you see your perdicament, you will find it helpfull to answer out questions. And remember what happe-"
Suddenly a red light appeared and a siren blasted. Another voice came on, this one sounded ergent. "Code Red, Tangos spotted, this is not a drill. Repeat: Code Red, Tangos spotted, this is not a drill. Repeat: This is not a drill!"
Brandon heard the interogater curse over the mic. Then he started feeling drowsy as he felt something being stuck into him. A srynge? Ugh! this stuff is horri... As he faded he could already make out the outline of Sara, beautiful sara, removing her shirt. Brandon remembered that part of the night, as he finally faded out.

Memories for Life
06-02-2011, 02:39 AM
i decided to continue the story, but this time imma try to make it more interesting! and yes, i will finish it this time. (ps.- i know i havent spelt some things right, and hey, im not the best speller, and neither are you! so cut me some slack please.) (constructive critisizm is always welcomed along with "what should happen next" ideas)

As a matter of fact, I was a regional spelling bee champion! But even if spelling isn't your forte, if you're using any standard word processing software, spell-checking is done automatically by identifying misspelled words and proper sentence grammar. Better yet, have someone else "proof" your new chapters before you post them -- a fresh set of eyes can see anything you may have missed.