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View Full Version : Fiction: A 'special' relationship.


sydneyyy93
05-16-2010, 11:40 AM
Warning: This story is going to be in detail 100% it will talk about what happens in their relationship and what happens to girls at her age. And girls you know what im talking about.

Characters:
Crystal- (An 11 year old orphan. She is very shy, Jasons adopted daughter.)
Jason- (A 20 year old man. He is Crystals adopted father.)

Chapter 1
Jason was in his almost adopted daughters bedroom. He was fixing it up for her. He made her bed and put all the furniture in her room. He was just finishing up and was getting ready to go get her. He stepped out of the house, locking the door. He walked to his car and got in. He drove up to the adoption Agency. He looked over at Crystal and waved to her. She was excited to see him and ran to him and hugged him. He has been coming in and seeing her for her anger problems and more. She somehow convinced him to adopt her. She looked up at ahim she was about 5'0. He knelt down and hugged her. "Ill be done in about an hour ok Sweetie." She smiled at him a tear coming down her cheek. "Ok Jason." He wiped her tear away and kissed her on her forehead. "Ill be back soon ok dear you just wait im not leaving here without you!" She smiled up at him and ran off to play with her friends. He walked into the office.

25rob1985
05-16-2010, 01:41 PM
a short first chapter but sounds like its going to be good do write more

sydneyyy93
05-16-2010, 06:32 PM
Warning: This story is going to be in detail 100% it will talk about what happens in their relationship and what happens to girls at her age. And girls you know what im talking about.

Characters:
Crystal- (An 11 year old orphan. She is very shy, Jasons adopted daughter.)
Jason- (A 20 year old man. He is Crystals adopted father.)

Chapter 1
Jason was in his almost adopted daughters bedroom. He was fixing it up for her. He made her bed and put all the furniture in her room. He was just finishing up and was getting ready to go get her. He stepped out of the house, locking the door. He walked to his car and got in. He drove up to the adoption Agency. He looked over at Crystal and waved to her. She was excited to see him and ran to him and hugged him. He has been coming in and seeing her for her anger problems and more. She somehow convinced him to adopt her. She looked up at ahim she was about 5'0. He knelt down and hugged her. "Ill be done in about an hour ok Sweetie." She smiled at him a tear coming down her cheek. "Ok Jason." He wiped her tear away and kissed her on her forehead. "Ill be back soon ok dear you just wait im not leaving here without you!" She smiled up at him and ran off to play with her friends. He walked into the office.

Chapter 2

After being in the office for about 30 minutes. He had white papers in his hand and motioned for Crystal to come to him. He knelt down as Crystal came running to him her long blonde hair flowing behind her she had a huge smile on her face. He picked her up hugging her. Crystal wrapped her legs around him tightly aswell as her arms around his neck. "So Jason???" She smiled at him. "Your mine..." He smiled back at her and kissed her on her forehead. He carried her out to the car and put her in the passanger side. He went around and got into the drivers side and drove off to the house. About 20 minutes later they arrived at the house. Crystal got out of the car amazed. "Do you like it dear?" He said smiling as he looked around. "I love it daddy." She blushed as she said 'daddy'. She went up to the door and pushed the door open. She was amazed at what she seen.

rdcottman
05-17-2010, 08:07 AM
keep up the great work, your storys are very interesting. but, do you think you could make the chapters a bit longer?

sydneyyy93
05-17-2010, 11:09 AM
Warning: This story is going to be in detail 100% it will talk about what happens in their relationship and what happens to girls at her age. And girls you know what im talking about.

Characters:
Crystal- (An 11 year old orphan. She is very shy, Jasons adopted daughter.)
Jason- (A 20 year old man. He is Crystals adopted father.)

Chapter 1
Jason was in his almost adopted daughters bedroom. He was fixing it up for her. He made her bed and put all the furniture in her room. He was just finishing up and was getting ready to go get her. He stepped out of the house, locking the door. He walked to his car and got in. He drove up to the adoption Agency. He looked over at Crystal and waved to her. She was excited to see him and ran to him and hugged him. He has been coming in and seeing her for her anger problems and more. She somehow convinced him to adopt her. She looked up at ahim she was about 5'0. He knelt down and hugged her. "Ill be done in about an hour ok Sweetie." She smiled at him a tear coming down her cheek. "Ok Jason." He wiped her tear away and kissed her on her forehead. "Ill be back soon ok dear you just wait im not leaving here without you!" She smiled up at him and ran off to play with her friends. He walked into the office.

Chapter 2

After being in the office for about 30 minutes. He had white papers in his hand and motioned for Crystal to come to him. He knelt down as Crystal came running to him her long blonde hair flowing behind her she had a huge smile on her face. He picked her up hugging her. Crystal wrapped her legs around him tightly aswell as her arms around his neck. "So Jason???" She smiled at him. "Your mine..." He smiled back at her and kissed her on her forehead. He carried her out to the car and put her in the passanger side. He went around and got into the drivers side and drove off to the house. About 20 minutes later they arrived at the house. Crystal got out of the car amazed. "Do you like it dear?" He said smiling as he looked around. "I love it daddy." She blushed as she said 'daddy'. She went up to the door and pushed the door open. She was amazed at what she seen.

Chapter 3
To Crystals surprise the house was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. The walls were white with a forest light green border. She couldnt believe her eyes. She walked into the kitchen it was so beautiful and white and CLEAN!!!. She then walked back into the livingroom and stood him standing there. "Your house is so beautiful." He smiled at her and took her hand. "You have yet to see your bedroom." He walked her up to her room and went to the right. "My room is down the left ok so if you need anything during the nite you can come and ask me." She smiled up at him as they stood infront of her door. Her name was already carved into the door. She opened the door. Her walls where painted a lime green, the borders where a dark purple. Her two favorite colors. She turned to face her bed, it was huge with white sheets she looked above her bed to see her name. She climbed on her bed and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "Thank you so much!" She laid her head on his shoulder almost crying. "Thats not all Sweetie." He held her as he walked over to her closet and stood infront of it. "Remember when i measured you to see what size clothes youd wear?" She nodded looking at him. He pushed her closet door open it was completely full of clothes. "Oh my goodness...." She put her hands over her mouth. "You didnt have to....." She started to cry and burried her face into him. He laid her down on her bed and sat next to her. "This is your house now im your daddy.." She smiled at him as he kissed her forehead. "I love you daddy." She said with a smile. "I love you 2 sweetheart."

the doc
05-17-2010, 12:07 PM
haha as i guess you want replys here to ur gettin it from me haha
its a nice story i just miss some excitement but i understand that this story needs some building but still

sydneyyy93
05-17-2010, 01:40 PM
haha as i guess you want replys here to ur gettin it from me haha
its a nice story i just miss some excitement but i understand that this story needs some building but still

Yes...
I always try to wait to get replies before i post another part to the story.

Memories for Life
05-17-2010, 02:29 PM
...He has been coming in and seeing her for her anger problems and more. She somehow convinced him to adopt her. ...

I know you stated that this will be "fiction" but could you still make it a logical story with imaginary characters. There isn't a orphanage in our known universe which would allow a single 20 year old male to adopt a 11 year old female child!

Beside that fact, in the (3) chapters, there isn't any indication there is anything remotely related to "dares" which these forums are based upon!

Structured as is, your story excels above others posted here because it uses proper grammar and punctuation! It's comfortable to read and, even in its short structure, shows you have a talent in prose.

sydneyyy93
05-17-2010, 02:38 PM
I know you stated that this will be "fiction" but could you still make it a logical story with imaginary characters. There isn't a orphanage in our known universe which would allow a single 20 year old male to adopt a 11 year old female child!

Beside that fact, in the (3) chapters, there isn't any indication there is anything remotely related to "dares" which these forums are based upon!

Structured as is, your story excels above others posted here because it uses proper grammar and punctuation! It's comfortable to read and, even in its short structure, shows you have a talent in prose.

Ummm I'm just getting into the story ok... So dont criticize anyone until they actually get into the story or until it is finished ok? its kinda stupid and im just getting into it ok so i would appreciate if you would be nicer.
Also if you didnt know

Fiction:the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration

Memories for Life
05-17-2010, 03:31 PM
Ummm I'm just getting into the story ok... So dont criticize anyone until they actually get into the story or until it is finished ok? its kinda stupid and im just getting into it ok so i would appreciate if you would be nicer.
Also if you didnt know

Fiction:the class of literature comprising works of imaginative narration

It isn't criticism, it's subjective observation!

If you were to go to a bookstore or library, went to the "Fiction" section and pulled a book with an interesting title, would you acquire it immediately just because it was in the "fiction" section? Normally, you would read a few lines or pages to see if it piqued your interest to continue to read the entire book. What would you think, upon reaching home, if the book actually wasn't "fiction" but actually "fantasy"!

Also if you didn't know:

Fiction is any story that is not based on real people or real events. The story could seem very plausible like something that COULD happen to you.

Fantasy, is a fictional story - usually something fantastic that would NEVER happen in the real world.

I reiterate, there isn't any orphanage which allows single young people (male or female) which allow the adoption of a minor child (male or female)! Additionally, the child has zero influence in the adoption process!

the doc
05-18-2010, 07:12 AM
It isn't criticism, it's subjective observation!

If you were to go to a bookstore or library, went to the "Fiction" section and pulled a book with an interesting title, would you acquire it immediately just because it was in the "fiction" section? Normally, you would read a few lines or pages to see if it piqued your interest to continue to read the entire book. What would you think, upon reaching home, if the book actually wasn't "fiction" but actually "fantasy"!

Also if you didn't know:

Fiction is any story that is not based on real people or real events. The story could seem very plausible like something that COULD happen to you.

Fantasy, is a fictional story - usually something fantastic that would NEVER happen in the real world.

I reiterate, there isn't any orphanage which allows single young people (male or female) which allow the adoption of a minor child (male or female)! Additionally, the child has zero influence in the adoption process!

so if ur sayint that this story is Fantasy, and that is what you are doing. Is ur fucking ur own ass because Fantasy is always fiction.
Now the famous cow example. A cow is an animal but a animal isn't always a cow :P
well i hope if you dont like the story ur just gonna leave and not demotivate the writer and ruin it for the rest of the people who do like it (people like me)

ChazzTuck
05-18-2010, 03:06 PM
I think the story is engrossing and has an incredible amount of potential. I look forward to future updates and seriously hope that the criticisms haven't disuaded you from continuing on...

The Judge
05-18-2010, 09:08 PM
i'm getting the feel for this story and imunderstanding all the backround information. please continue sydney

The Judge
05-18-2010, 09:27 PM
i'm getting the feel for this story and imunderstanding all the backround information. please continue sydney

sydneyyy93
05-19-2010, 01:17 PM
Warning: This story is going to be in detail 100% it will talk about what happens in their relationship and what happens to girls at her age. And girls you know what im talking about.

Characters:
Crystal- (An 11 year old orphan. She is very shy, Jasons adopted daughter.)
Jason- (A 20 year old man. He is Crystals adopted father.)

Chapter 1
Jason was in his almost adopted daughters bedroom. He was fixing it up for her. He made her bed and put all the furniture in her room. He was just finishing up and was getting ready to go get her. He stepped out of the house, locking the door. He walked to his car and got in. He drove up to the adoption Agency. He looked over at Crystal and waved to her. She was excited to see him and ran to him and hugged him. He has been coming in and seeing her for her anger problems and more. She somehow convinced him to adopt her. She looked up at ahim she was about 5'0. He knelt down and hugged her. "Ill be done in about an hour ok Sweetie." She smiled at him a tear coming down her cheek. "Ok Jason." He wiped her tear away and kissed her on her forehead. "Ill be back soon ok dear you just wait im not leaving here without you!" She smiled up at him and ran off to play with her friends. He walked into the office.

Chapter 2

After being in the office for about 30 minutes. He had white papers in his hand and motioned for Crystal to come to him. He knelt down as Crystal came running to him her long blonde hair flowing behind her she had a huge smile on her face. He picked her up hugging her. Crystal wrapped her legs around him tightly aswell as her arms around his neck. "So Jason???" She smiled at him. "Your mine..." He smiled back at her and kissed her on her forehead. He carried her out to the car and put her in the passanger side. He went around and got into the drivers side and drove off to the house. About 20 minutes later they arrived at the house. Crystal got out of the car amazed. "Do you like it dear?" He said smiling as he looked around. "I love it daddy." She blushed as she said 'daddy'. She went up to the door and pushed the door open. She was amazed at what she seen.

Chapter 3
To Crystals surprise the house was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. The walls were white with a forest light green border. She couldnt believe her eyes. She walked into the kitchen it was so beautiful and white and CLEAN!!!. She then walked back into the livingroom and stood him standing there. "Your house is so beautiful." He smiled at her and took her hand. "You have yet to see your bedroom." He walked her up to her room and went to the right. "My room is down the left ok so if you need anything during the nite you can come and ask me." She smiled up at him as they stood infront of her door. Her name was already carved into the door. She opened the door. Her walls where painted a lime green, the borders where a dark purple. Her two favorite colors. She turned to face her bed, it was huge with white sheets she looked above her bed to see her name. She climbed on her bed and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "Thank you so much!" She laid her head on his shoulder almost crying. "Thats not all Sweetie." He held her as he walked over to her closet and stood infront of it. "Remember when i measured you to see what size clothes youd wear?" She nodded looking at him. He pushed her closet door open it was completely full of clothes. "Oh my goodness...." She put her hands over her mouth. "You didnt have to....." She started to cry and burried her face into him. He laid her down on her bed and sat next to her. "This is your house now im your daddy.." She smiled at him as he kissed her forehead. "I love you daddy." She said with a smile. "I love you 2 sweetheart."

Chapter 4
The next morning Crystal woke up very early. Her mouth was so dry, she went down stairs and to the fridge. She took a yoohoo that her new daddy had bought for her and went up to her room drinking it. She laid back in bed after putting the yoohoo box on her nitestand. She smiled. "I love it here." She fell back to sleep. The next thing she knew her daddy was sitting next to her on the bed shaking her to wake her up. "Sweetie wake up." He smiled at her as she refused. "I dont wanna daddy." She turned over pulling the covers over her head. He stood up and crossed his arms smirking at her. "Ok... I guess we dont have to go shopping." Her eyes opened as she jumped out of bed grabbing her robe she ran into the bathroom turning on the water. She ran back and hugged him. "Good morning daddy." She giggled and walked back into the bathroom. She undressed, stepping into teh shower. She began to wash herself. She stepped out about a few minutes later drying herself off. She put her robe on and brushed her teeth, and blow dry her hair. She walked into her room grabbing a blue jean ruffle skirt, pants and bra, and a white,pink, and blue zebra patterned tanktop that faded. She grabbed some sandals from teh many her daddy bought her. She walked down stairs and sat on teh couch. "Do i look good daddy?" She asked as she put her sandals on. "You already bought me many things i dont think i need anymore." He grabbed his keys waiting at the door. "C'mon sweetie..." She grabbed her bag and jacket and headed out to the car. She sat in teh passangers side and waited. A few minutes he came and got in the car and drove to the mall. As she walked into the mall holding his hand her mouth dropped.

sydneyyy93
05-20-2010, 07:00 PM
I will update this story when someone actually comments it with nice comments...

stats2001
05-20-2010, 07:46 PM
love this so far,,.try not to worry about some of the comments, i have read a few of your stories and they are great...keep up the good work, and i too look forward to many moe chapters to come !!!

sydneyyy93
05-21-2010, 05:05 PM
Warning: This story is going to be in detail 100% it will talk about what happens in their relationship and what happens to girls at her age. And girls you know what im talking about.

Characters:
Crystal- (An 11 year old orphan. She is very shy, Jasons adopted daughter.)
Jason- (A 20 year old man. He is Crystals adopted father.)

Chapter 1
Jason was in his almost adopted daughters bedroom. He was fixing it up for her. He made her bed and put all the furniture in her room. He was just finishing up and was getting ready to go get her. He stepped out of the house, locking the door. He walked to his car and got in. He drove up to the adoption Agency. He looked over at Crystal and waved to her. She was excited to see him and ran to him and hugged him. He has been coming in and seeing her for her anger problems and more. She somehow convinced him to adopt her. She looked up at ahim she was about 5'0. He knelt down and hugged her. "Ill be done in about an hour ok Sweetie." She smiled at him a tear coming down her cheek. "Ok Jason." He wiped her tear away and kissed her on her forehead. "Ill be back soon ok dear you just wait im not leaving here without you!" She smiled up at him and ran off to play with her friends. He walked into the office.

Chapter 2

After being in the office for about 30 minutes. He had white papers in his hand and motioned for Crystal to come to him. He knelt down as Crystal came running to him her long blonde hair flowing behind her she had a huge smile on her face. He picked her up hugging her. Crystal wrapped her legs around him tightly aswell as her arms around his neck. "So Jason???" She smiled at him. "Your mine..." He smiled back at her and kissed her on her forehead. He carried her out to the car and put her in the passanger side. He went around and got into the drivers side and drove off to the house. About 20 minutes later they arrived at the house. Crystal got out of the car amazed. "Do you like it dear?" He said smiling as he looked around. "I love it daddy." She blushed as she said 'daddy'. She went up to the door and pushed the door open. She was amazed at what she seen.

Chapter 3
To Crystals surprise the house was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. The walls were white with a forest light green border. She couldnt believe her eyes. She walked into the kitchen it was so beautiful and white and CLEAN!!!. She then walked back into the livingroom and stood him standing there. "Your house is so beautiful." He smiled at her and took her hand. "You have yet to see your bedroom." He walked her up to her room and went to the right. "My room is down the left ok so if you need anything during the nite you can come and ask me." She smiled up at him as they stood infront of her door. Her name was already carved into the door. She opened the door. Her walls where painted a lime green, the borders where a dark purple. Her two favorite colors. She turned to face her bed, it was huge with white sheets she looked above her bed to see her name. She climbed on her bed and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "Thank you so much!" She laid her head on his shoulder almost crying. "Thats not all Sweetie." He held her as he walked over to her closet and stood infront of it. "Remember when i measured you to see what size clothes youd wear?" She nodded looking at him. He pushed her closet door open it was completely full of clothes. "Oh my goodness...." She put her hands over her mouth. "You didnt have to....." She started to cry and burried her face into him. He laid her down on her bed and sat next to her. "This is your house now im your daddy.." She smiled at him as he kissed her forehead. "I love you daddy." She said with a smile. "I love you 2 sweetheart."

Chapter 4
The next morning Crystal woke up very early. Her mouth was so dry, she went down stairs and to the fridge. She took a yoohoo that her new daddy had bought for her and went up to her room drinking it. She laid back in bed after putting the yoohoo box on her nitestand. She smiled. "I love it here." She fell back to sleep. The next thing she knew her daddy was sitting next to her on the bed shaking her to wake her up. "Sweetie wake up." He smiled at her as she refused. "I dont wanna daddy." She turned over pulling the covers over her head. He stood up and crossed his arms smirking at her. "Ok... I guess we dont have to go shopping." Her eyes opened as she jumped out of bed grabbing her robe she ran into the bathroom turning on the water. She ran back and hugged him. "Good morning daddy." She giggled and walked back into the bathroom. She undressed, stepping into teh shower. She began to wash herself. She stepped out about a few minutes later drying herself off. She put her robe on and brushed her teeth, and blow dry her hair. She walked into her room grabbing a blue jean ruffle skirt, pants and bra, and a white,pink, and blue zebra patterned tanktop that faded. She grabbed some sandals from teh many her daddy bought her. She walked down stairs and sat on teh couch. "Do i look good daddy?" She asked as she put her sandals on. "You already bought me many things i dont think i need anymore." He grabbed his keys waiting at the door. "C'mon sweetie..." She grabbed her bag and jacket and headed out to the car. She sat in teh passangers side and waited. A few minutes he came and got in the car and drove to the mall. As she walked into the mall holding his hand her mouth dropped.

Chapter 5
Crystal was so surprised at how big the mall was. She hadnt been in a mall every. Jason laughed a bit picking her up. "Where do you want to go first?" He kissed her cheek. "I dont know daddy....." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I dont know any places in here....." He walked over to a map of the mall. "Well theres Aeropostale, American Eagle, Hot Topic, Rue 21...." She thought for a minute and finally spoke. "All..." She giggled as he began to walk into aeropostale. She jumped down and ran throughout the store grabbing clothes. "Daddy!!!" She screamed. Jason walked over to teh dressing room . "Yes dear?" She came out of the dressing room. "How does it look?" She was wearing a tanktop and pants. "Its cute on you." She smiled and walked back in. She came out with all teh clothes about three shirts and three pants. She handed them to him. "Thanks daddy." She kissed his cheek. She waited by the door for him. He came with the bag a few minutes later. "Where to next?" He asked looking around. "ummmm whats that place??" She said pointing to 'Lilly Pad'. "Ummm i don't know i think it sells bags..." She ran over to it. and looked around. "Daddy can i get one??" She said looking up at him with puppy eyes. "Just one." She ran over and got a pink and brown bag. She went to the counter and paid for it. "Thanks daddy." She put it in teh other bag and held his hand as they walked out of the store. "Thank you very much i like all the things I got." She got into teh car and sat in the back seat with teh bag. He got in teh drivers side and began to drive home. "Daddy can we get something to eat?? im hungry." She looked into the mirror at him. "I love you..." She smiled at him. "Alright." He pulled into McDonalds. "What do you want?" She looked at the menu. "A milkshake and some chicken nuggets." She sat in teh back playing with her doll. He handed her, her food. "There you go sweetie." She smiled as she started to snack on her fries. "No eating in teh car sweetie..." She groaned and sat it aside. "Can i atleast drink my milkshake?" He nodded approvingly. "Sure." She sipped her milkshake. "Thanks." She sat back and started to fall asleep.

thedaring1
05-21-2010, 05:16 PM
I really like it so far, finaly a story that isnt rushed. Im excited and nervous to see how this turns out.

ofthenorth
05-21-2010, 05:22 PM
I like it...interested to see where it goes. Very good writing, and wondering where you're going with a little girl and a twenty year old man with the nature of the stories on this site. I know it's not in the R section but still a curious question.

Only one thing to point out, you do something I do myself a lot, I'm guessing you type fast and in doing so you mess up simple short words cause your finger's muscle memory outruns your brain. You misspell "the" a lot as "teh" I do the same thing and have to go back and correct it however mine is usually "hte" :P just thought I'd point that out for you. I'm just a grammar and spelling nazi a lot of times. Haha.

Overall great story...a nice piece of "fantasy fiction" :P Ignore all those negative comments and keep up the good work. It may not be exactly in line with reality but what story is? I've read stories on here where people do things that would for sure get them arrested, in the hospital, or dead even and some even claim their "true" so ignore anything about this not being "believable" and the fact that it's not a "dare" story doesn't mean anything it's just getting started and there's lots of stories on here that aren't actually dares so forget about that, and you probably have a wealth of ideas floating around that can make it into that genre that you just haven't brought into the story yet. It's still starting.

It's a great story and you're a good writer. Keep it up.

sydneyyy93
05-21-2010, 06:09 PM
Only one thing to point out, you do something I do myself a lot, I'm guessing you type fast and in doing so you mess up simple short words cause your finger's muscle memory outruns your brain. You misspell "the" a lot as "teh" I do the same thing and have to go back and correct it however mine is usually "hte" :P just thought I'd point that out for you. I'm just a grammar and spelling nazi a lot of times. Haha.


Oh I knew that, I didnt really feel like fixing it i use to but i just didnt want to.

ofthenorth
05-21-2010, 07:18 PM
Oh I knew that, I didnt really feel like fixing it i use to but i just didnt want to.

Haha. Makes sense. Like I said I do the same. :P

sydneyyy93
05-25-2010, 11:47 AM
Warning: This story is going to be in detail 100% it will talk about what happens in their relationship and what happens to girls at her age. And girls you know what im talking about.

Characters:
Crystal- (An 11 year old orphan. She is very shy, Jasons adopted daughter.)
Jason- (A 20 year old man. He is Crystals adopted father.)

Chapter 1
Jason was in his almost adopted daughters bedroom. He was fixing it up for her. He made her bed and put all the furniture in her room. He was just finishing up and was getting ready to go get her. He stepped out of the house, locking the door. He walked to his car and got in. He drove up to the adoption Agency. He looked over at Crystal and waved to her. She was excited to see him and ran to him and hugged him. He has been coming in and seeing her for her anger problems and more. She somehow convinced him to adopt her. She looked up at ahim she was about 5'0. He knelt down and hugged her. "Ill be done in about an hour ok Sweetie." She smiled at him a tear coming down her cheek. "Ok Jason." He wiped her tear away and kissed her on her forehead. "Ill be back soon ok dear you just wait im not leaving here without you!" She smiled up at him and ran off to play with her friends. He walked into the office.

Chapter 2

After being in the office for about 30 minutes. He had white papers in his hand and motioned for Crystal to come to him. He knelt down as Crystal came running to him her long blonde hair flowing behind her she had a huge smile on her face. He picked her up hugging her. Crystal wrapped her legs around him tightly aswell as her arms around his neck. "So Jason???" She smiled at him. "Your mine..." He smiled back at her and kissed her on her forehead. He carried her out to the car and put her in the passanger side. He went around and got into the drivers side and drove off to the house. About 20 minutes later they arrived at the house. Crystal got out of the car amazed. "Do you like it dear?" He said smiling as he looked around. "I love it daddy." She blushed as she said 'daddy'. She went up to the door and pushed the door open. She was amazed at what she seen.

Chapter 3
To Crystals surprise the house was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. The walls were white with a forest light green border. She couldnt believe her eyes. She walked into the kitchen it was so beautiful and white and CLEAN!!!. She then walked back into the livingroom and stood him standing there. "Your house is so beautiful." He smiled at her and took her hand. "You have yet to see your bedroom." He walked her up to her room and went to the right. "My room is down the left ok so if you need anything during the nite you can come and ask me." She smiled up at him as they stood infront of her door. Her name was already carved into the door. She opened the door. Her walls where painted a lime green, the borders where a dark purple. Her two favorite colors. She turned to face her bed, it was huge with white sheets she looked above her bed to see her name. She climbed on her bed and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "Thank you so much!" She laid her head on his shoulder almost crying. "Thats not all Sweetie." He held her as he walked over to her closet and stood infront of it. "Remember when i measured you to see what size clothes youd wear?" She nodded looking at him. He pushed her closet door open it was completely full of clothes. "Oh my goodness...." She put her hands over her mouth. "You didnt have to....." She started to cry and burried her face into him. He laid her down on her bed and sat next to her. "This is your house now im your daddy.." She smiled at him as he kissed her forehead. "I love you daddy." She said with a smile. "I love you 2 sweetheart."

Chapter 4
The next morning Crystal woke up very early. Her mouth was so dry, she went down stairs and to the fridge. She took a yoohoo that her new daddy had bought for her and went up to her room drinking it. She laid back in bed after putting the yoohoo box on her nitestand. She smiled. "I love it here." She fell back to sleep. The next thing she knew her daddy was sitting next to her on the bed shaking her to wake her up. "Sweetie wake up." He smiled at her as she refused. "I dont wanna daddy." She turned over pulling the covers over her head. He stood up and crossed his arms smirking at her. "Ok... I guess we dont have to go shopping." Her eyes opened as she jumped out of bed grabbing her robe she ran into the bathroom turning on the water. She ran back and hugged him. "Good morning daddy." She giggled and walked back into the bathroom. She undressed, stepping into teh shower. She began to wash herself. She stepped out about a few minutes later drying herself off. She put her robe on and brushed her teeth, and blow dry her hair. She walked into her room grabbing a blue jean ruffle skirt, pants and bra, and a white,pink, and blue zebra patterned tanktop that faded. She grabbed some sandals from teh many her daddy bought her. She walked down stairs and sat on teh couch. "Do i look good daddy?" She asked as she put her sandals on. "You already bought me many things i dont think i need anymore." He grabbed his keys waiting at the door. "C'mon sweetie..." She grabbed her bag and jacket and headed out to the car. She sat in teh passangers side and waited. A few minutes he came and got in the car and drove to the mall. As she walked into the mall holding his hand her mouth dropped.

Chapter 5
Crystal was so surprised at how big the mall was. She hadnt been in a mall every. Jason laughed a bit picking her up. "Where do you want to go first?" He kissed her cheek. "I dont know daddy....." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I dont know any places in here....." He walked over to a map of the mall. "Well theres Aeropostale, American Eagle, Hot Topic, Rue 21...." She thought for a minute and finally spoke. "All..." She giggled as he began to walk into aeropostale. She jumped down and ran throughout the store grabbing clothes. "Daddy!!!" She screamed. Jason walked over to teh dressing room . "Yes dear?" She came out of the dressing room. "How does it look?" She was wearing a tanktop and pants. "Its cute on you." She smiled and walked back in. She came out with all teh clothes about three shirts and three pants. She handed them to him. "Thanks daddy." She kissed his cheek. She waited by the door for him. He came with the bag a few minutes later. "Where to next?" He asked looking around. "ummmm whats that place??" She said pointing to 'Lilly Pad'. "Ummm i don't know i think it sells bags..." She ran over to it. and looked around. "Daddy can i get one??" She said looking up at him with puppy eyes. "Just one." She ran over and got a pink and brown bag. She went to the counter and paid for it. "Thanks daddy." She put it in teh other bag and held his hand as they walked out of the store. "Thank you very much i like all the things I got." She got into teh car and sat in the back seat with teh bag. He got in teh drivers side and began to drive home. "Daddy can we get something to eat?? im hungry." She looked into the mirror at him. "I love you..." She smiled at him. "Alright." He pulled into McDonalds. "What do you want?" She looked at the menu. "A milkshake and some chicken nuggets." She sat in teh back playing with her doll. He handed her, her food. "There you go sweetie." She smiled as she started to snack on her fries. "No eating in teh car sweetie..." She groaned and sat it aside. "Can i atleast drink my milkshake?" He nodded approvingly. "Sure." She sipped her milkshake. "Thanks." She sat back and started to fall asleep.

Chapter 6
He smiled looking into the rear mirror at her. She looked so adorable as she slept, So peaceful and cute. He shook his head, 'what am i thinking shes 11 and my daughter...' He kept his eyes on the road glancing at her from the mirror occasionaly. He pulled into the driveway and cut the car off still looking at her usually she woke up when the car stopped. He got out and opened her door picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck resting her head on his shoulder. He smiled at her rubbing her back ignoring teh clothes she had left. He took her inside, walking up the steps he walked to her room, He laid her down on the bed and took her shirt off leaving her in her tanktop. He took her skirt off and got her shorts putting them on her he laid her down the rest of the way and covered her up. He sat next to her as she slept rubbing her hair. She smiled as if dreaming... He got up leaving the room he went down stairs cleaning up the kitchen. His girlfriend Lillian came up behind him and hugged him. "Hey Jason.... where is she?" She said curious. "Shes upstairs sleeping she fell asleep in the car." He turned around facing her, he hugged her and kissed her. "Oh..." Suddenly Crystal screamed for him. "DADDY!!!" Jason and Lillian both ran up the stairs and into her room. "What is it sweetie?" Jason said as he sat down. "I'm bleeding daddy..."Jason looked at Lillian....

Roll,ova,and,beg
05-25-2010, 08:51 PM
I really <3 it keep it coming and I like how you progress the characters

the doc
05-26-2010, 06:59 AM
me likes it
its just very annoying that you quote ur whole story
but for the people who read it alltogether its good
make up ur mind and let me know if ur gonna stop it or not. Its ur choice
btw doesnt make you story any worse keep up the good work

eire
05-26-2010, 12:24 PM
great story. confused about the blood? should I ask?

sydneyyy93
05-27-2010, 06:02 PM
Chapter 6
He smiled looking into the rear mirror at her. She looked so adorable as she slept, So peaceful and cute. He shook his head, 'what am i thinking shes 11 and my daughter...' He kept his eyes on the road glancing at her from the mirror occasionaly. He pulled into the driveway and cut the car off still looking at her usually she woke up when the car stopped. He got out and opened her door picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck resting her head on his shoulder. He smiled at her rubbing her back ignoring teh clothes she had left. He took her inside, walking up the steps he walked to her room, He laid her down on the bed and took her shirt off leaving her in her tanktop. He took her skirt off and got her shorts putting them on her he laid her down the rest of the way and covered her up. He sat next to her as she slept rubbing her hair. She smiled as if dreaming... He got up leaving the room he went down stairs cleaning up the kitchen. His girlfriend Lillian came up behind him and hugged him. "Hey Jason.... where is she?" She said curious. "Shes upstairs sleeping she fell asleep in the car." He turned around facing her, he hugged her and kissed her. "Oh..." Suddenly Crystal screamed for him. "DADDY!!!" Jason and Lillian both ran up the stairs and into her room. "What is it sweetie?" Jason said as he sat down. "I'm bleeding daddy..."Jason looked at Lillian....

Chapter 7
Cyrstal looked in fear as Jason looked at Lillian... Lillian sat next to Crystal. "Are you bleeding in a no no place?" Lillian asked softly motioning Jason to leave the room. Jason left as soon as he seen the sign. "Yes...." Crystal said in a soft voice with a bit of fear in it. "This is something that will happen every 28 days dear." Jillian got up and grabbed her purse. "You stay in here and ill be right back alright..." Crystal nodded as Lillian walked out, she went down stairs and out of the house. She came back about 20 minutes later and went back up to Crystals room holding a bag, she walked into the room placing the bag on the bed. She dumped it out and 4 items fell out. "This stuff will help you when your on your cycle..." She held up the pads. "I would start with these till your a bit comfortable with it ok?" Crystal nodded taking the pads. Lillian grabbed the tampons and panty liners. "If you go swimming or when you dont feel like wearing pads you can wear these and they last up to 8 hours. but if you use a tampon you have to use the liner for incase you cant make it to the bathroom this will catch the blood in time. but for a short time." She handed them to her. "Now take this when you start to hurt down there but only one ok?" Crystal nodded taking the box of midol. "Thank you Lillian." Lillian nodded. "If you run out just tell your daddy and hell go get you some.." Crystal nodded as Lillian walked out. Jason caught her in teh hall. "Is everything going ok?" Lillian smiled. "Your daughters becoming a woman..." She walked out and drove off.

eire
05-28-2010, 08:33 AM
aww :) I right but was confused which is a great thing I love to see :) excellent story Sydney :)

the doc
05-29-2010, 08:32 AM
haha really good
i like it
but just a question
what kind of story are you trying to make out of this??
ly xx

sydneyyy93
05-30-2010, 03:41 PM
Chapter 7
Cyrstal looked in fear as Jason looked at Lillian... Lillian sat next to Crystal. "Are you bleeding in a no no place?" Lillian asked softly motioning Jason to leave the room. Jason left as soon as he seen the sign. "Yes...." Crystal said in a soft voice with a bit of fear in it. "This is something that will happen every 28 days dear." Jillian got up and grabbed her purse. "You stay in here and ill be right back alright..." Crystal nodded as Lillian walked out, she went down stairs and out of the house. She came back about 20 minutes later and went back up to Crystals room holding a bag, she walked into the room placing the bag on the bed. She dumped it out and 4 items fell out. "This stuff will help you when your on your cycle..." She held up the pads. "I would start with these till your a bit comfortable with it ok?" Crystal nodded taking the pads. Lillian grabbed the tampons and panty liners. "If you go swimming or when you dont feel like wearing pads you can wear these and they last up to 8 hours. but if you use a tampon you have to use the liner for incase you cant make it to the bathroom this will catch the blood in time. but for a short time." She handed them to her. "Now take this when you start to hurt down there but only one ok?" Crystal nodded taking the box of midol. "Thank you Lillian." Lillian nodded. "If you run out just tell your daddy and hell go get you some.." Crystal nodded as Lillian walked out. Jason caught her in teh hall. "Is everything going ok?" Lillian smiled. "Your daughters becoming a woman..." She walked out and drove off.

Chapter 8
Crystal came out of her room about an hour later. Her daddy was laying on the couch. He motioned for her to come lay with him. She shook her head and went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. "It hurts daddy." She sat in a chair next to the couch. He sat up and scooted near her. "It only lasts for a couple days." He said patting her thigh a little to close to her private part. She looked up at him as he stood up. "What are you doing?" She put her feet up on the chair. "Makin dinner dear. What would you like?" He asked walking to the kitchen. "It don't matter....." She laid in teh chair feeling a bit of pain. "Alfredo dear?" She looked at him. "Sure...." She got up and laid on the couch. "I hate being a woman daddy....." He chuckled and came back and sat next to her. "It wont be that much longer hun its your first period so....." She looked at him as he rubbed her hair. "I lvoe you dear." She smiled. "I love you too daddy..." He got up going to her room he brought down a tank top and shorts. "Here dear you can put these on." He smiled watching her undress after taking the clothes. He started to get a boner watching her stand half naked. She put on the top and faced him. "Can you help my stomach hurts..." He nodded kneeling and holding the shorts. She stepped in holding his shoulders. He pulled the shorts up to her waist. He looked her in teh eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

the doc
05-31-2010, 08:12 AM
this is getting better and better
keep going haha

lilwetslave
05-31-2010, 08:59 AM
I love it
great job. Its nice to read something that builds and doesnt just start off with dares right away.

Roll,ova,and,beg
06-01-2010, 03:13 PM
I like that too it sets a story line and progresses

sydneyyy93
06-01-2010, 06:05 PM
Chapter 8
Crystal came out of her room about an hour later. Her daddy was laying on the couch. He motioned for her to come lay with him. She shook her head and went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. "It hurts daddy." She sat in a chair next to the couch. He sat up and scooted near her. "It only lasts for a couple days." He said patting her thigh a little to close to her private part. She looked up at him as he stood up. "What are you doing?" She put her feet up on the chair. "Makin dinner dear. What would you like?" He asked walking to the kitchen. "It don't matter....." She laid in teh chair feeling a bit of pain. "Alfredo dear?" She looked at him. "Sure...." She got up and laid on the couch. "I hate being a woman daddy....." He chuckled and came back and sat next to her. "It wont be that much longer hun its your first period so....." She looked at him as he rubbed her hair. "I lvoe you dear." She smiled. "I love you too daddy..." He got up going to her room he brought down a tank top and shorts. "Here dear you can put these on." He smiled watching her undress after taking the clothes. He started to get a boner watching her stand half naked. She put on the top and faced him. "Can you help my stomach hurts..." He nodded kneeling and holding the shorts. She stepped in holding his shoulders. He pulled the shorts up to her waist. He looked her in teh eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Chapter 9
Jason was shocked deeply at her wrapping her arms around him. "Feeling better?" She nodded laying her head on his shoulder. He walked to teh kitchen and finished the dinner. He sat her down at the table and handed her a bowl with some alfredo in it. "Eat up..." He smiled at her as he sat down and began to eat. A few minutes later he put their dishes up. "Daddy can you help me in teh bath?" She asked a bit embarrassed. He looked at him as he picked her up. "If you want me to...." She nodded at him. He began to walk down to the bathroom and helped her strip down naked. She looked up at him. "Arent you gonna get undressed?" She blushed a bit as her underage body got into teh tub turning teh water on. He shook his head. "Dear thats inappropriate..." She looked down. "Sorry..." He grabbed a wash cloth and the bar of soap and began to wash her. " Daddy can you tell me about what boys and girls do?" He didnt answer as he finished up washing her. He poured some shampoo in his hand and lathered it into her hair then rinsed. He helped her out of the bathtub wrapping a towel around her, He helped her up and walked to her room. He grabbed her nitegown and her panties and a pad. She dried herself off as he bent down helping her put on her panties after placing the pad in them. She giggled a bit. "Dad...... i love you." He smiled up at her as he grabbed her nitegown and placed it over her head helping her put it on. He picked her up and placed her into the bed. He left and went to his own room and fell asleep. A few hours later Crystal woke up to a loud thunder. She got up and ran down to her daddys room.

the doc
06-01-2010, 11:09 PM
its getting better....
i cant wait for the last part
sydney hurry!!!!
love this story

sydneyyy93
06-06-2010, 08:49 AM
Hello guys.... this story is going to be long and you have to be patient with me ok....

rdcottman
06-06-2010, 10:02 AM
take your time. there is no rush when writing greatness. keep up the good work.

Mr Very Daring
06-06-2010, 10:33 AM
take your time- you can't rush perfection
This is beautiful

Roll,ova,and,beg
06-08-2010, 09:19 PM
yeah its a very good story that you should take your time on the reason I comment so much is that I just love it

sydneyyy93
06-10-2010, 05:40 PM
Chapter 9
Jason was shocked deeply at her wrapping her arms around him. "Feeling better?" She nodded laying her head on his shoulder. He walked to teh kitchen and finished the dinner. He sat her down at the table and handed her a bowl with some alfredo in it. "Eat up..." He smiled at her as he sat down and began to eat. A few minutes later he put their dishes up. "Daddy can you help me in teh bath?" She asked a bit embarrassed. He looked at him as he picked her up. "If you want me to...." She nodded at him. He began to walk down to the bathroom and helped her strip down naked. She looked up at him. "Arent you gonna get undressed?" She blushed a bit as her underage body got into teh tub turning teh water on. He shook his head. "Dear thats inappropriate..." She looked down. "Sorry..." He grabbed a wash cloth and the bar of soap and began to wash her. " Daddy can you tell me about what boys and girls do?" He didnt answer as he finished up washing her. He poured some shampoo in his hand and lathered it into her hair then rinsed. He helped her out of the bathtub wrapping a towel around her, He helped her up and walked to her room. He grabbed her nitegown and her panties and a pad. She dried herself off as he bent down helping her put on her panties after placing the pad in them. She giggled a bit. "Dad...... i love you." He smiled up at her as he grabbed her nitegown and placed it over her head helping her put it on. He picked her up and placed her into the bed. He left and went to his own room and fell asleep. A few hours later Crystal woke up to a loud thunder. She got up and ran down to her daddys room.

Chapter 10
Once Crystal got to her daddies room she slowly opened the door to find her daddy still awake. He was on the bed under the covers watching t.v. Crystal walked over next to his bed. She gently rubbed her eyes. "Daddy can i lay with you?" She asked in a soft voice. She looked over at the t.v. to see naked people on it. "Dad...... them people are playing naked... why are you watching that?" She climbed on the bed. "Yes you can lay with me." He grabbed the remote avoiding her second question. She laid under the covers. "You never answered my second question... dad." She said looking at him. "Dear its something grown ups can watch but not little girls." He pulled her in to him hugging her. "Ok...." She laid her head on him. "Do you have any questions on what you seen?" He asked looking at her. She thought for a second. "Yea... do all people do that?" She asked rubbing her eyes again. "Not all but most.." He said smiling at her. "You have?" She asked smirking. "I dont think i should answer....." He said smirking back. "What does it feel like?" She asked blushing nervously. "I can show you if you like..." Crystal thought for a second before answering.

the doc
06-10-2010, 10:55 PM
ow i'm beginning to love this
like => love :D

Roll,ova,and,beg
06-13-2010, 10:40 PM
woah that part just blew me away this is getting better and better

ILuv
06-19-2010, 02:52 PM
Promising Start.. Please Continue :)

sydneyyy93
06-20-2010, 10:42 AM
Chapter 10
Once Crystal got to her daddies room she slowly opened the door to find her daddy still awake. He was on the bed under the covers watching t.v. Crystal walked over next to his bed. She gently rubbed her eyes. "Daddy can i lay with you?" She asked in a soft voice. She looked over at the t.v. to see naked people on it. "Dad...... them people are playing naked... why are you watching that?" She climbed on the bed. "Yes you can lay with me." He grabbed the remote avoiding her second question. She laid under the covers. "You never answered my second question... dad." She said looking at him. "Dear its something grown ups can watch but not little girls." He pulled her in to him hugging her. "Ok...." She laid her head on him. "Do you have any questions on what you seen?" He asked looking at her. She thought for a second. "Yea... do all people do that?" She asked rubbing her eyes again. "Not all but most.." He said smiling at her. "You have?" She asked smirking. "I dont think i should answer....." He said smirking back. "What does it feel like?" She asked blushing nervously. "I can show you if you like..." Crystal thought for a second before answering.

Sorry i know i havent updated in awhile but its been so hot that i didnt feel like doing anything.

Chapter 11
Crystal nodded at Jason slowly, She wasnt really sure she was ready for this but she loved her daddy very much to know he wasnt going to hurt her. "You sure baby?" Jason asked her as he was rubbing her outer thigh softly. "Yes daddy.." Crystal said nodding. "Alright." Jason said as he was getting up and getting between her legs. He gripped her pajama shorts along with her panties and gently slid them down. Once they were off and laying next to her he softly rubbed her inner thigh, kissing it aswell. Lilly on the other hand was watching closely but srifting off occasionally from the good feeling she was getting. She felt a bit awkward her daddy was doing this to her but at the same time she really enjoyed it. "You ok sweetie?" Jason asked her looking at her. "Yes..." She smiled at him and laid her head down. "Ok well im gonna lick your vagina now.." She nodded. Jason leaned his head down smelling her sweet juices before tasting them. He softly blew cold air on it to see what shed do. "Dad.... what are you doing....?" He chuckled not answering her, Instead he used his fingers to spread the lips of her vagina. He started to lick her clit. Crystals eyes widened as she never thought it would feel that good. She looked down at him sitting up a bit. "Dad......" She pushed his head away. "I'm not ready." He put her panties on her for her and held her in his arms. "Alright baby I dont wanna force you to do anything you dont want to." He laid down with her in his arms. She looked up at him. "I love you daddy." He smiled at her and kissed her on the lips. "I love you to sweetie." He said nuzzling her

the doc
06-20-2010, 11:03 AM
sweet haha
although i'm not supposed to like this

masterc
06-20-2010, 03:51 PM
This is kinda perverted...

Roll,ova,and,beg
06-20-2010, 10:20 PM
AWESOME although I woulda liked to see them go a bit further but yeah

Memories for Life
06-21-2010, 01:50 PM
Now that this story has turned to mature themes, I think a Mod needs to move it the appropriate forum. The story is well written but the latest chapter deals with sensitive subject matter, not suitable for the casual under 18 forum browser.

sydneyyy93
06-22-2010, 07:13 PM
Sorry i know i havent updated in awhile but its been so hot that i didnt feel like doing anything.

Chapter 11
Crystal nodded at Jason slowly, She wasnt really sure she was ready for this but she loved her daddy very much to know he wasnt going to hurt her. "You sure baby?" Jason asked her as he was rubbing her outer thigh softly. "Yes daddy.." Crystal said nodding. "Alright." Jason said as he was getting up and getting between her legs. He gripped her pajama shorts along with her panties and gently slid them down. Once they were off and laying next to her he softly rubbed her inner thigh, kissing it aswell. Lilly on the other hand was watching closely but srifting off occasionally from the good feeling she was getting. She felt a bit awkward her daddy was doing this to her but at the same time she really enjoyed it. "You ok sweetie?" Jason asked her looking at her. "Yes..." She smiled at him and laid her head down. "Ok well im gonna lick your vagina now.." She nodded. Jason leaned his head down smelling her sweet juices before tasting them. He softly blew cold air on it to see what shed do. "Dad.... what are you doing....?" He chuckled not answering her, Instead he used his fingers to spread the lips of her vagina. He started to lick her clit. Crystals eyes widened as she never thought it would feel that good. She looked down at him sitting up a bit. "Dad......" She pushed his head away. "I'm not ready." He put her panties on her for her and held her in his arms. "Alright baby I dont wanna force you to do anything you dont want to." He laid down with her in his arms. She looked up at him. "I love you daddy." He smiled at her and kissed her on the lips. "I love you to sweetie." He said nuzzling her

Chapter 12
The ending
The next morning Crystal woke up early and got dressed in some pants and a long sleeve shirt. Crystal grabbed the phone and started to dial 9-1-1. She was caught by her dad before she could even get 9 in there. "Hey what are you doing with teh phone?" He said looking down at her. "Oh nothing..." She ran upstairs and into her room locking her door. Once she was in there she called the cops. About 10 minutes later the cops arrived and broke in teh door. Crystal jumped and ran down stairs to find her father being handcuffed and a social services lady hold onto Crystal and bring her outside. "We are taking you out of this home due to what you told the cops." Crystal nodded and watched as the cops took her daddy into custody. Crystal hated having turn him in but she couldnt do something like that. The social services lady soon put Crystal in teh car and drove off to teh orphanage and dropped Crystal after signing her in.....
The end...

Sorry I ended it like this but im done with writing.

BettyBoop
06-23-2010, 12:45 AM
This is disturbing.

Katiie
06-23-2010, 12:50 AM
http://ploader.net/files/9e1226b7b1ab9a97262862045e7dbddc.jpg

SubMissChievous
06-23-2010, 12:51 AM
Now that this story has turned to mature themes, I think a Mod needs to move it the appropriate forum. The story is well written but the latest chapter deals with sensitive subject matter, not suitable for the casual under 18 forum browser.

Agreed. Moved to R18: Mature Stories.

the doc
06-23-2010, 07:55 AM
ok loved your story tho

sydneyyy93
06-23-2010, 05:10 PM
This is disturbing.

I know.... but its something that happens in reality and yea i was trying to make a point in it but i got so much bad comments and messages that i couldnt take it anymore and decided to just quit with this story...

the doc
06-23-2010, 11:48 PM
if you want you can write a new story (especially for me)