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luv2dance31995
03-01-2010, 11:37 AM
ok so this is my first post btw...

so me and my friends where having a friends weekend at my friends cabin. so there were 4 of us in 1 car on the way to the cabin it took us bout 2 hours to get 2 the cabin. unfortunetly my friends were drinking a bunch of energy drinks so we had 2 stop like every half hour for them to use the bathroom btw. My friends had no idea wat i had planned 4 this weekend bcuz this was actually my friend Mikes cabin. ive been up there about every summer 4 the past 5 years me nd him are like brother and sister btw. but they had no idea that i had planned a get together with mikes neighbor and his friends who were like super cute and very sweet. this was a suprise for my bff who had just broken up with her bf of 2 years so i thoought it was bout time 2 get her mind off of her ex and onto another cute guy, if she had found out i was bringing her there 4 that reason she wouldnt have gone. when we were bout half an hour away from the cabin i had called mike from the rest stop to have his neighbor shut off the alarm at the cabin and make sure his nieghbor and his friends were at the cabin when we arrived. after i called mike we left the rest stop my friends were starting 2 wonder y i was txting and calling mike so much but they new i would never tell them y, bcuz they now i can keep stuff from them for a while. so me and mike had been planning this 4 aboutt a week so we had the girls go on a scavenger hunt so mikes nieghbor jake and his friends, sam, henery, and zack could get the luggage into the cabin when we got there. after the luggage was all unload jake,sam,henert,and zack headed down to the last place were they sent the girls which was the lake. the girls found a note attached to one of the trees down by the lake. the note said: "Turn around and look up!" which had a picture of jake,sam,henery,and zack at the age of five the girls all "awwed" including me. then turned around and looked up,to find

i thought this would be a great place to stop ill continue writin though

ShinyDemon
03-01-2010, 12:01 PM
It's always good to see new writers on here, but please use paragraphs and proper English (bcuz, y and txting not really acceptable). The story could be good, but to be honest I had to give up reading about half way through as it was extremely difficult to read.
If you continue, and it is properly laid out, I will gladly read it. Sorry to sound harsh - I don't want to put you off, and would encourage you to continue, but if you carry on in this format you'll get a lot of bad feedback.

luv2dance31995
03-01-2010, 12:10 PM
so my friends looked up to see no one was standing there but i heard jake say shut up to henery,sam and zach. so i knew the suprise was kinda ruined. so they saw we were a lil early btw. i ran to hug jake and my friends shauna, andrea and erin did the exact same, after i had hugged jake. im always hugging jake while im here bcuz we have been like friends since diapers, but wat i didnt no was jake had a huge crush on me. the guys had lunch all cooked up at the cabin so we went to eat. l8r in the day jake took us all out on the speed boat. after we got all cleaned up after we got done on the speed boat. i didnt no jake had planned a bonfire which was so much fun. so we made smores and sang one of my favorite camp fire songs that jake knew i loved. l8r on around like 11pm or so. his friend zack suggested truth or dare jake knew me nd mi friends would never turn down a challenge.

so zach started he asked me, "Truth or Dare?" i chose truth, zach replied, "in the past 5 summers we have met with u which summer has been ur favorite?" i replied, this one!

than i asked sam truth or dare
knowing sam hed pick dare nd of coarse he did.
i noticed mi friend shauna was staring at him btw.
so i dared sam to go and kiss shauna
shauna looked at me like wtf. but she l8r thnked me
so sam went and kissed shauna was so suprised

than sam asked andrea truth or dare
andrea is the one who would except the challege with out a doubt
sam "dared andrea to go run down and jump into the lake with henery naked"
andrea of coarse the one who had a monster,redbull and a rockstar in the car stripped down nd rand down the lake. henery was in shocked so jake went and slapped him across the face.
henery came back to reality and striped and followed andrea who was already half way to the lake.
we followed andrea and henery down to the lake, shauna, sam, erin nd zack desided to join andrea and henery, they all knew that jake had a crush on me.
so they knew he was gunna tell me that nite

jake led me back up to this little balcony on the other side of the cliff that u had to go down when going down to the lake.

i had no idea wat jake was doing i was kinda curious
i kept asking jake where r u taking me?
he just smiled and pulled me along while holding onto mi arm



when we got to the little balcony i sat on the bench that they carried down earlier b4 we had got to the cabin.

jake and me continued playing our own lil truth or dare game

jake asked me, "truth or Dare?"
i said, "truth"
jake: "do u like any1?"
me: " actually yes i do" (jake took this as a sign mayb she has a bf)

me: "truth or dare"
jake: "truth"
me: "do u like mi friend erin?"
jake: "ummm... wat do u mean as like?"
me: "as in do u want her as a gf"
jake: "no..."

this will continue

luv2dance31995
03-01-2010, 12:12 PM
It's always good to see new writers on here, but please use paragraphs and proper English (bcuz, y and txting not really acceptable). The story could be good, but to be honest I had to give up reading about half way through as it was extremely difficult to read.
If you continue, and it is properly laid out, I will gladly read it. Sorry to sound harsh - I don't want to put you off, and would encourage you to continue, but if you carry on in this format you'll get a lot of bad feedback.

thank you for the feed back

luv2dance31995
03-01-2010, 01:07 PM
:pjake: "truth or dare"
me:"tru.." jake had stoped me and said to me, "i really like you and have for a really long time, and i dont want to be away from you till next summer."

we heard sam,erin,zack, andrea,henery and shauna coming up to from the lake. my friends saw that i was in shock so they realized jake had told me he had a crush on me so the continued walking up to the cabin. jake nudged me a bit.

Me:"ja..." he kissed me
jake and me spent the rest of the weekend making out and just having the time of out lives together. i told jake, "never keep this a secret from a girl who you have liked from the first day you had met her. even if we live further apart than most couples do we will be honest with eachother."

before leaving after the weekend trip Jake took me on a romantic boat ride around the lake, and played my favorite campfire tune. Jake promised me forever and always and we are still together forever and always. as i was about to get in the car jake gave me a ring that said both mine and his names. i realized he knew that i would be his girlfriend thats how he knew to get the ring or maybe mike told him that i liked him either way i had the time of my life with my best friends and my new boyfriend

msblingy
03-04-2010, 04:22 AM
ummm...enjoyed your story...:)...