boxman
12-27-2009, 10:10 AM
Part 1
This is my first ever attempt of writing a story so please let me know what you think. I plan for this to be quite long and there may even be a part 2 if the reception is any good.
The sun was low in the sky but the air was still warm. It was late august and the last of the summer fayres in Norfolk (a county in the east of the UK) were drawing to a close. Jack and his friends usually didn’t like visiting such childish events however; on this occasion Jack was looking after his neighbour’s son. He thought he would be there alone until his friends heard of his visit and, regardless to Jack’s objections, decided to tag along.
Among the group there were 1 other boy and 2 girls, they were Jack’s closest friends at school and had been in his classes since his first day at high school. The boy was called James and had been Jack’s longest friend he was average height but well built with short brown hair; they had known each other since they were 9 years old and had been best friends ever since. The first girl was called Katie, she was a tall girl with an impressive figure, she had bright blonde hair and carried with her a sense of class. At first she and Jack didn’t get along, they were both very intelligent and often tried to get the better of the other person in tests at school. After time, however; their constant competing drew them closer and now they had forgotten completely of their original quarrels. The other girl’s name was Beth, the best way to describe her would be petite, she had cute features with flowing brown hair and almost had an Asian look to her even though both her parents were English. Jack had had a crush on her for the past 2 years but he was a shy boy and rarely fully let out his emotions.
Now a little about Jack, he was born in Cyprus to two English parents but he moved to Norfolk, England when he was just six months old. The first 9 years of his life were good, with no cares in the world but when, he turned 10 his life turned upside-down with the death of his Father. It affected him badly but it was nothing compared to his Mother. Her mental state slowly deteriorated and before long she couldn’t look after Jack. Jack moved to live with his grandparents who also lived in the area. Before the incident he was a confident boy however; his Father’s death caused him to become reclusive and shy. 6 years has passed since then and Jack was beginning to gain confidence again. He had made good friends at his school and he was starting to enjoy life again. Jack had average length fair hair and was about 5 foot 11.
They had been on most of the rides at the fayre and it closed in 30 minutes.
“Well this was a waste of time.” James shouted out, “I shouldn’t have bothered coming at all”
“No you shouldn’t.” Jack replied, with an irate tone.
“Well I thought it was fun, especially the dodgems” Beth said a voice that sounded small enough to be a mouse.
“This is the last time I tell you people of my plans.” Jack replied, “All you’ve done today is complain and whine. I wish you wouldn’t insist on coming along to my personal events just to find a way to embarr…”
He stopped dead and the whole group knew why. Right in front of them there stood a small circus style tent, it was designed with alternating yellow and red stripes which slowing thinned into a pointed roof. There was nothing physically concerning about the tent however it gave out an obscene aura of menace. They all felt it the moment they laid eyes on it, a shiver went down all their spines in unison and they all felt each others fear. Jack brought up the courage to look around himself, almost too scared to move he turned his head. No-one apart from the 5 of them noticed the foul message the tent projected. Then, as suddenly has the feeling bestowed upon them it was gone. Everything felt normal again; they looked at each other, none daring to say anything. They began to walk again but as they passed the tent Jack stopped.
“I have got to go in there.” Jack blurted out; everyone instantly knew what he was talking about.
“Don’t be stupid Jack.” Katie replied, with concerned tone, “Let’s just get out of this place.”
Katie wasn’t sure if Jack heard her or just chose to ignore her but he proceeded to enter the tent. James started to go after him but Katie held him back.
“One of us being an imbecile is quite enough.” Katie commanded.
James knew better than to argue with her and so stopped where he was. 10 minutes passed while the friends all stood there looking worried before James decided to make a stand.
“Right that’s it I’m going in the…” But before he could finish Jack walked out, as pale as a ghost. “What is it?” James said, “What’s in there?”
Jack didn’t reply, all he could bring the courage to say was “Let’s go home James, I’ll tell you there.”
To be continued...
This is my first ever attempt of writing a story so please let me know what you think. I plan for this to be quite long and there may even be a part 2 if the reception is any good.
The sun was low in the sky but the air was still warm. It was late august and the last of the summer fayres in Norfolk (a county in the east of the UK) were drawing to a close. Jack and his friends usually didn’t like visiting such childish events however; on this occasion Jack was looking after his neighbour’s son. He thought he would be there alone until his friends heard of his visit and, regardless to Jack’s objections, decided to tag along.
Among the group there were 1 other boy and 2 girls, they were Jack’s closest friends at school and had been in his classes since his first day at high school. The boy was called James and had been Jack’s longest friend he was average height but well built with short brown hair; they had known each other since they were 9 years old and had been best friends ever since. The first girl was called Katie, she was a tall girl with an impressive figure, she had bright blonde hair and carried with her a sense of class. At first she and Jack didn’t get along, they were both very intelligent and often tried to get the better of the other person in tests at school. After time, however; their constant competing drew them closer and now they had forgotten completely of their original quarrels. The other girl’s name was Beth, the best way to describe her would be petite, she had cute features with flowing brown hair and almost had an Asian look to her even though both her parents were English. Jack had had a crush on her for the past 2 years but he was a shy boy and rarely fully let out his emotions.
Now a little about Jack, he was born in Cyprus to two English parents but he moved to Norfolk, England when he was just six months old. The first 9 years of his life were good, with no cares in the world but when, he turned 10 his life turned upside-down with the death of his Father. It affected him badly but it was nothing compared to his Mother. Her mental state slowly deteriorated and before long she couldn’t look after Jack. Jack moved to live with his grandparents who also lived in the area. Before the incident he was a confident boy however; his Father’s death caused him to become reclusive and shy. 6 years has passed since then and Jack was beginning to gain confidence again. He had made good friends at his school and he was starting to enjoy life again. Jack had average length fair hair and was about 5 foot 11.
They had been on most of the rides at the fayre and it closed in 30 minutes.
“Well this was a waste of time.” James shouted out, “I shouldn’t have bothered coming at all”
“No you shouldn’t.” Jack replied, with an irate tone.
“Well I thought it was fun, especially the dodgems” Beth said a voice that sounded small enough to be a mouse.
“This is the last time I tell you people of my plans.” Jack replied, “All you’ve done today is complain and whine. I wish you wouldn’t insist on coming along to my personal events just to find a way to embarr…”
He stopped dead and the whole group knew why. Right in front of them there stood a small circus style tent, it was designed with alternating yellow and red stripes which slowing thinned into a pointed roof. There was nothing physically concerning about the tent however it gave out an obscene aura of menace. They all felt it the moment they laid eyes on it, a shiver went down all their spines in unison and they all felt each others fear. Jack brought up the courage to look around himself, almost too scared to move he turned his head. No-one apart from the 5 of them noticed the foul message the tent projected. Then, as suddenly has the feeling bestowed upon them it was gone. Everything felt normal again; they looked at each other, none daring to say anything. They began to walk again but as they passed the tent Jack stopped.
“I have got to go in there.” Jack blurted out; everyone instantly knew what he was talking about.
“Don’t be stupid Jack.” Katie replied, with concerned tone, “Let’s just get out of this place.”
Katie wasn’t sure if Jack heard her or just chose to ignore her but he proceeded to enter the tent. James started to go after him but Katie held him back.
“One of us being an imbecile is quite enough.” Katie commanded.
James knew better than to argue with her and so stopped where he was. 10 minutes passed while the friends all stood there looking worried before James decided to make a stand.
“Right that’s it I’m going in the…” But before he could finish Jack walked out, as pale as a ghost. “What is it?” James said, “What’s in there?”
Jack didn’t reply, all he could bring the courage to say was “Let’s go home James, I’ll tell you there.”
To be continued...