PDA

View Full Version : Broken Heart


Kasg
12-16-2009, 02:13 AM
Characters

Mathias

20 years old, dark blonde hair and blue eyes,
acts mature but longs for love.

Jessica

19 years old. Black, midwaist hair and grey eyes.
Innocent girl who's best friend with Mathias.


Part 1 - How it started
18th December



It's a cold friday evening and Mathias was sitting in front of the TV, going through the channels without anything to do. Outside the window, there was a heavy snowstorm, not the kind of weather you'd want to be outside. Going through the channels the second time now, Mathias was interrupted by a knocking on his apartment door. Standing up from the couch, he realized that he was only wearing grey boxer shorts and a matching grey t-shirt. While walkings towards the door, he heard a second, more loud series of knockings on his door.
"Yes, yes. I'm on my way."
As soon as the door was unlocked and slightly open, a tall, furry being rushed past him, inside. Caught by surprise, Mathias fell backwards and landed flat on the floor with the door still wide open. The door was shut by the tall furry being and Mathias looked up to see who had suddenly knocked him over so abruptly.
"I'm so sorry for that, Mathias, but I was freezing outside."
It was Jessica, his best friend. This explained why he had only recognized her as a tall furry being, she was wearing a heavy fake fur jacket and hat.
"What are you doing here?" Mathias asked, sitting up while rubbing his head.
"I'm sorry, I should have called you before but I was in too much of a hurry to get here."
Looking up and closer at her face, he noticed she had frozen tears on her red colored cheeks from the cold outside.
"What's happened?" he asked, standing up straight and removed her snow covered jacket.
"My parents and I got into an argument and it ended by me leaving the house..." she said while removing the hat and shuddering a little. "Mind if I stay here for a while?"
"Yeah, sure. No problem at all. I'll go get us some hot coco." He said a little too quick without thinking ahead.
"Thanks," she said while she started to remove her heavy boots covered in snow.
He noticed she tried her best to hide her teary eyes from him and he wasn't really sure what kind of argument would have made her leave her house. This was not the kind of weekend he had expected...

dareslave1990
12-16-2009, 02:18 AM
Good start, i like this story

Kasg
12-16-2009, 04:14 AM
Part 2 - Let's go shopping!
19th December

Bang! Mathias sat straight up like he'd been fired from a rocket. It took him two looks around him to notice the kitchen was lit and it smelled like boiled eggs and porridge. Looking around himself, he saw that he had been sleeping on the couch with a blanket on top of him.
"So it wasn't a dream after all..." he quietly mumbled to himself, trying to remember what had happened.
Jessica had visited him late last night, asking to stay at his for a while. He remembered he had offered to make some hot coco for them both. Looking to his left, on the sofa table there was indeed two empty white mugs. Slowly more images came to his mind, he had led her to the sofa were they both enjoyed the hot coco. It had been an awkward night... both of them usually managed to have long conversations but they had just been sitting there in silence, taking small sips of the coco until the mugs were empty. He had offered her his bed and at first she had refused his offer, saying she didn't mind sleeping on the couch. Apparently he had managed to convince her otherwise, he thought to himself.
"Ah, shit. Did I wake you up?"
Looking in front of him into the kitchen he saw Jessica looking right back at him with her gorgeous grey eyes. She wore the white apron he had got from his mother as a moving away present with the text saying 'Kiss the cook' on it.
"No worries. What's the clock?"
"It's, uhm... 8 am." She said while she checked the clock on the kitchen wall. "I got the eggs and porridge done in five minutes."
"Okay, I think I'll go grab a shower in the meantime."
While Jessica went back to making breakfast, Mathias stood up and started walking towards the back hall. Halfway in, he looked to his left and saw his bed in the bedroom neatly bedded which he had never accomplished to do. Heading to his right, he entered the bathroom. Undressing and turning on the shower, he jumped in and enjoyed the hot water. After a little while he heard Jessica shout from the kitchen.
"It's ready!"
Five minutes sure pass fast, he thought to himself and turned off the shower. Grabbing a towel, he tried his best to dry fast. Heading to the bedroom he grabbed a white t-shirt, a pair of boxer shorts and jeans. While dressing he heard Jessica again.
"Are you coming?"
"Just gimme a sec!" He replied back.
He headed out the hallway and towards the livingroom and turned left to the kitchen. Jessica sat at the table already and had begun eating. She had left the white apron hanging next to the dishwasher and had already set up a second plate of porridge and eggs for him next to her. He sat down next to her and began eating.
"Thanks for yesterday." She said.
"For letting me stay and for the coco." She added, giggling when she saw his mildly confused face.
"Oh, no problems. It's the least I could do."
After they had both finished eating she put the plates and food intensils in the dishwasher.
"Let's go christmas shopping." Mathias said out of nowhere while staring blankly in front of him.
Jessica turned around from the dishwasher and looked at him with a small smile on her face.
"Isn't it the girls job to bring the guy for shopping?"
"I thought you'd need a little distraction from... you know... yesterday." He finished, realizing that maybe his choice of words weren't the best.
"Well then, let me just grab a quick shower and change clothes and we'll go!" She said, clapping her hands with excitement, trying to hide her pain.
"Did you bring clothes with you?" He asked and looked around like he'd find a pile of her clothes in a corner.
"Didn't you notice the suitcase I had with me?" She said with a surprised look.
"Can't say I did."
"Oh well, it doesn't matter. Give me a min or two and I'll be done."
Knowing her, she wasn't the kind of girl who spent hours at end to fix herself up. Mathias headed back into his bedroom and grabbed a thick, warm black hoodie. He looked around and noticed he had left his glasses on the bedside table since yesterday. He grabbed them and put them on and then headed back into the living room where he grabbed the two emptied mugs and put them on them at the sink in the kitchen. Thinking he might as well make himself comfortable while waiting for her, he sat down in front of the TV and started going through the various channels just like yesterday. Minutes later he saw her come out of the bathroom, fully clothed. She was wearing black jeans and a white Puma hoodie.
"I'm ready!" She said while she smiled and spread her arms upwards like she was gonna hug a giant bear.
"She really does look good in anything." He thought to himself while standing up from the couch and moved towards the front door, noticing the brown suitcase beside their shoes.

dareslave1990
12-16-2009, 06:29 AM
once again, brilliant story, first one in awhile without spelling and/or gramatical errors, well done

Kasg
12-16-2009, 06:55 AM
I'm pretty much a grammar nazi myself, but I do make mistakes.

I would also like to add that this story is 100% fiction, totally forgot to add that into the title. =/

Kasg
12-18-2009, 02:52 AM
Part 3 - The Dare
19th December

Having arrived at the mall they started out by checking through all the various store windows, checking what was on display. Jessica occasionally pulled Mathias into a store to look at or buy something. After an hour and a half had passed, they decided to stop by a small restaurant and grab something to eat.
"How much have you spent so far?" Mathias wondered.
"Not much more than 80 euros I'd say." Jessica replied while looking through the receipts.
"Hey."
"Hmm?" She replied while still going through the receipts.
"Truth or dare?" Mathias asked with a smug on his face.
"What? Here?" Jessica asked, looking up from her receipts and at him and then around her.
Mathias motioned for her to answer his question.
"Sigh... fine. Dare."
"I dare you to not spend more than another 50 euros of your savings for the rest of the day..."
"Or else...?"
"Or else you'll have to try on any kind of clothing of my choice."
"You perv!" Jessica said a little too loud, attracting a few peoples attention around them.
"A dare's a dare." Mathias said with a small chuckle.
"Fine, but then I get to add a rule to it."
"Go ahead."
"If I manage to keep it below 50 euros you'll have to be my servant for the rest of the night."
"That's pretty ballsy coming from you." Mathias said with a mildly surprised look.
"And that's rich coming from the guy who wants to see me dressed like a hooker or the like." She replied with a smile.
Mathias remained silent and felt rather secure of his bet since she usually could spend alot when it came to clothings.
"Alright, let's continue shopping." Mathias said after a short while.
They continued through the mall, floor after floor. This was going better than Mathias had expected, she had already spent over 30 euros and there were still many stores to go. When they arrived at the womens section at her favorite clothes store she decided to buy a pair of pants that cost way more than they had betted on. Mathias had a hard time hiding his excitement for winning this bet. After they had gone through the rest of the stores, mostly without buying anything else, Mathias decided it was time to bring up the conclusion of their bet.
"So, I guess that makes me the winner. I couldn't help but notice you spent more than 50 euros throughout the rest of the day."
Jessica turned around to face Mathias.
"Well, that's true. I did spend more than 50 euros." She said without changing the look on her face which was quite neutral.
"So you decided to give up since you knew you were gonna lose?"
"Oh, but that's where you're wrong! You see, you dared me to not spend more than 50 euros of my savings."
"Yeah, and you did..." Mathias said with a small hint of confusion in his voice.
"No, no. I only spent 80 euros in total this whole day before you made that dare. I've used your money for the rest of the day!" She said with a smile, holding up his wallet in her left hand.



Any kind of constructive pointers on how I'm doing or what I should improve or change would be greatly appreciated.

dareslave1990
12-18-2009, 05:01 AM
I really like were this story is going, is there going to be any S/M?

Kasg
12-19-2009, 09:47 AM
It most likely will in the next part. I'll try and have it up by tomorrow. 350~ views and only one guy who's commented? =/

If some of you could share your thoughts on this story so far I could improve it alot. Just a heads up. ;)

SWoody
12-19-2009, 06:22 PM
well i think this is a good start i keep trying to figure out whats gonna happen but i cant so i cant wait till u post ur next chapter

Kasg
12-20-2009, 05:09 AM
Part 4 - Be my slave!
19th December

"You- you stole my wallet?!"
"More like borrowed." Jessica said, still smiling. "Don't worry, I'll pay you back tomorrow when this is all over. I wouldn't want to lose the bet now, would I?"
"Now then, since I won, you'll be my servant for the rest of the day. You can start out by going back home with the stuff I bought, undress, put on the apron and make us dinner."
"Wait a minu-!" Mathias started.
"No butts!" Jessica interrupted. "I won the dare. Either get to work or I'll keep your wallet."
Mathias just stared at her. This was the first time he had seen her like this. She usually was the kind, cute and innocent type of girl, but now she looked more like a domestic mistress. Though he felt like he could have gotten the wallet back if he wanted to, he didn't want to cause scene or do anything stupid so he just nodded and left with the shopping bags in his hands. Looking back at her for a quick glance, he saw her put his wallet back in her pocket and walking away in the opposite direction.
"Dear god, what have I gotten myself into?" Mathias thought to himself.

Back home, Mathias put the bags on the couch in the living room and tried to remember what she had ordered him to do.
"Undress... put the apron on and make dinner...? What the hell?" He thought to himself.
Under other circumstances he would've refused to do this but he was a little interested in what she was planning to do. She was undeniably hot and he had always had a small crush on her. And heck, she wanted him to get naked. Not to mention he wanted his wallet back in his possession. Heading into his bedroom, he started to undress, first removing the hoodie, then his t-shirt and jeans and lastly his boxer shorts. Moving back into the kitchen he found the apron still hanging beside the dishwasher where Jessica had left it earlier. Mathias grabbed the apron and put it on, and then wondered what he should make for dinner. Having decided on something easy and quick, he decided to make pasta.

Just as the pasta was done, Jessica returned with a small bag in her left hand. She didn't say anything but just passed through and into his bedroom where he heard noises. After a little while, she entered the kitchen where Mathias had put a plate for each one of them with pasta.
"Ooh, that looks yummy. Good work, mister cook." Jessica said and gave a little slap on Mathias' bare ass cheek.
Caught by surprise, Mathias jumped and looked at her. Opening his mouth to comment on her actions, Jessica interrupted.
"Hey, hey! You're the servant for the night! No questioning your mistress. Now let me go take off my outdoor clothes and we'll start eating."
The seductive tone she used to say mistress got Mathias into a mental imagining state, creating images of her whipping him with a leather whip while standing with one foot on his bare back. His thoughts were interrupted by a giggle. Jessica was standing at the kitchen door, looking down at him. Looking down himself, Mathias saw he had gotten an erection.
"Glad to see you're enjoying yourself, Mathias." She said, still giggling.
Heading past him and to the kitchen table, Jessica sat down and motioned for Mathias to do the same.
"Leave the apron on if you want to."
Deciding he didn't want her to look too much at his erection while eating dinner he left the apron on and sat down next to her.
"All right then, let's eat!" She said with excitement.

Hunterman36
12-21-2009, 02:10 PM
i like it keep going please

deadly
12-21-2009, 02:36 PM
this is amazing :D keep up the god work :p

macjohn
12-21-2009, 07:21 PM
good so far, your not going too fast, and not too slow.

try not to have it centered on s/m just like EVERY OTHER STORY

try flipping the odds with the characters

Nick
12-21-2009, 08:25 PM
great story so far, rather original thus far if you ask me. can't wait to see more.

Kasg
12-22-2009, 12:36 PM
This is surprising. Glad to see people commenting on it now. I'll continue writing tomorrow and don't worry, it won't be like other stories where they're stuck in a S/M relationship.

Kasg
01-11-2010, 07:24 AM
Sorry for the long wait, just been alot going on lately so I haven't had enough time to write. But here's the next installment now!

Part 5 - A turn of events
19th December

The dinner went without anything special happening, they both sat in silence and ate. Mathias secretely glanced at Jessica a few times, noticing she maintained a passive look on her face, as if nothing weird had happened today. After they both were done, Jessica spoke for the first time since they both had begun eating.
"All right, since we've both finished eating now, you can begin to wash the dishes." She said. "You're not allowed to use the dishwasher!" She continued with a strict voice.
"Why not?" Mathias replied, thinking of the unnecessary housework she's making him do in his own apartment.
"Because I said so." She simply replied. "When you're done, come to the living room."
As she stood up and walked out in the living room, Mathias sat there with a dumbstruck face.
"Get moving!" He heard her say from the living room, followed up by the TV being turned on.
Thinking it's just for the night, he stood up and started doing the dishes. After a while he started noticing how cold he was.
"Why the hell do I have to only wear an apron?" He thought to himself. "I'm gonna freeze to death."

When he was done with the dishes, he made his way to the living room.
"I'm done with the dishes." He said as he entered the living room. "How long do you plan on making me wear this apron? I'm freezing to death!"
"Oh, you can go change into your normal clothes if you want to." Jessica replied, looking up from the TV.
Without a second thought, he made his way into his bedroom and started dressing. When he was done he returned to the living room where she was still watching TV.
"Can you make me some popcorn and hot coco, please?" She said, looking at him with a begging look.
"Uhh... yeah, sure."
Once again he entered the kitchen and did as she asked.
"What's with her? First she acts like she owns the house, now she asks me politely." Mathias thought to himself. "She hasn't acted like this before... might have something to do with her parents, I guess. Might as well play along for the time being."

When the popcorn and the hot coco was done, he made his way to the living room and put the bowl and the hot mug on the table in front of her.
"Why's there only one mug?" She asked.
"You said you wanted ho-" He started.
"I know what I said, but where's your mug?"
"I didn't think of making one for myself." He said, feeling a little dumb.
"Ahh, you idiot. Well, nevermind, we'll share it then." She said with a little frustration. "Sit down."
Wondering what was in store for him, he sat down on the sofa, next to her. Though the situation was a little awkward, he managed to relax a bit and started paying attention to the TV. A documentary about the egyptians and pyramids... lovely.

Kasg
01-19-2010, 03:16 PM
Sorry for the long wait between each chapter, gotten myself into a little complicated situation at the moment so I don't have as much time to write. But! Please leave some feedback on how it's going so far, what I should work on or something you want me to add to the story. I got the basic outline of the story done, but I can add some things you guys want into the story as well.

Kasg
01-20-2010, 06:23 AM
Part 6 - A troubled heart
19th December

They spent a good 20 minutes watching the documentary, whilst sharing the mug of hot coco. Mathias threw a few, quick glances at Jessica now and then. She wore the same neutral expression on her face, kind of like as if she was bored. If it was him, he'd grab this opportunity as her master to boldly try and fulfill some of his fantasies. Maybe she isn't interested in him in that way? After what felt another 20 minutes Jessica finally broke the silence.
"Hey..." She started, with a low voice.
"Y-yeah?" Mathias answered, caught by surprise at first.
"Do you-..." She said, but stopped halfway. "Can you warm up another mug of coco for me?"
"...Sure."
Mathias took the empty mug and headed back into the kitchen. Something was definitely wrong, she wasn't just gonna ask him for another mug of hot coco. Her tone sounded way more serious than that. Troubled and confused by the sudden turn of events, Mathias shortly returned to the living room with another hot mug of coco.
"Here you g-" He started, before noticing something was wrong.
Jessica was holding one of the sofa pillows in her lap, hugging it while silently sobbing, her face turning more red by each passing second. Hurrying to her side, he hastily put the mug down on the sofa table.
"What's wrong?!"
"It's n-nothing." She sobbed. "I just got caught up in my thoughts."
"Maybe you should finally tell me what you're actually doing here, then?" Mathias said, sitting down beside her on the sofa while hugging her.
"I- I had an argument with my parents..."
"About what?" He asked while petting her on the head.
"They-"
The phone rang.
"Answer it."
Thinking he'd rather be by her side than leave her alone sobbing on the sofa, he stood up and headed towards the phone against his better judgement.
"Mathias."
"Hey, it's Kenneth."
"Jessica's dad?" Mathias thought to himself.
"Does Jessica happen to be at your place? We've been calling around her friends but no one has seen her."
Looking at Jessica, he saw her shaking her head with wide eyes.
"No, I haven't seen her. Has something happened?"
"Well, it's a rather personal matter, I'm sorry. Are you sure she isn't there?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. I'll let you know if I see her."
"Alright, thanks then."
*Click*


Please leave comments, suggestions and criticism for me and the story! It does help alot to know what people think. Don't worry, the fap material will come later on, just bear with it.

APrincess
01-20-2010, 02:05 PM
Just marking my place :)
Please write more, it's amazing!!
Princess xXx

Kasg
01-21-2010, 03:28 PM
Thanks for the comment. Always nice for an author to recieve some comments about his work, helps you keep motivated. I'll try and have the next story up as soon as possible!

Kasg
01-24-2010, 01:52 PM
Part 7 - The truth?
19th December

Mathias put down the phone and turned around to face Jessica who had disappeared.
"Jessica?" Mathias said, looking around himself.
"I'm here." He heard her say with a low voice from the couch.
Approaching it, he saw she had laid down on the couch, again hugging one of the sofa pillows. Her face was still red, but the tears had stopped.
"Your dad's looking for you." He said.
"I know... I just don't wanna talk to him."
"Are you gonna tell me what happened?" Mathias asked as he sat down beside her and patted her head.
"It's nothing, really." She said, trying to avoid the topic.
"Sigh... You know you can trust me."
"Y-yeah, sorry."
"So, feel like talking then?"
"It's all just so stupid... my parents were offered a promotion, which means they would have to move to USA."
"Her parents work for a big IT company, don't they?" Mathias thought to himself.
"That can't be all, can it?" He continued.
"No, I wouldn't have minded it too much, but they want me to follow with them. And the only reason they want me to move with them is because they hope the manager's son would fall in love with me, which would increase their chance of another promotion."
"Wha- Are you serious?!" Mathias said shockingly. "I don't think your parents would do that to you."
"They e- even talked to me about it. Saying I was coming of age and should find myself a partner for life. I'm only 19! What do they expect of me?!" She said angrily, while tears started to fall again.
Mathias just remained there. Sitting beside her with her head on his lap, patting her head. Noticing he was spacing out, he returned to his senses.
"How about we head to the sauna? It'll help you calm down."
"There's a sauna here?" She asked, already looking forward to it.
"Yeah, it's in the basement. Let's grab some towels and head in there."
"Hmm... alright. You better not try to peek!" She said and giggled for the first time in a good while.

Here's the 7th installment of the story. C'mon, people. Do try and help me out with this by writing some comments. As a writer, it's easier to miss your own faults than it's for the readers. ;<