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Hamishrules
11-06-2009, 03:43 PM
Bear in mind, this is a role-play story, so its a little different to the other story's.


the scene
we are brother and sister and our parents are away and ur in charge.. and u treat me like a baby
Ashleigh 14
Jordan 16(me(with the bold writing))

i sat in the living room, about to turn the tv on

i come in and snatch the tv remote away so i can watch F1

'oi!' i shriek

"its 10:00 pm, go to bed or ill miss the qualifing rounds" i say

'im not going to bed'

'yes you are or ill, ill punish you!!!'

i storm out of the room and go up to my room and go to sleep

and then i turn on to the adult channel of foxtel, 'i only do this when mum and dad arn't around or ill get my ass kicked' i think to myself

next morning
i sleep in

i see youy sleeping, you have i great figure i think to myself, you are uncovered and only dreesed in a bra and thong, i decide to take some pics seeing as mum and dad wont be home for a few days

i stir

i keep taking pics but then i leave before you suddenly wake up just after i get out

i wake up and rub my eyes and change into tshirt and mini shorts then go downstairs

were im having some breakfast
with the camera on the table

'whats with the cam?'

nothing, its just charging

'ok then' i say going into the living room and turnin on the tv

i finish my breakfast and i start downloading the pics to my laptop

i turn on channel V

you see and ad for some versy sexy lingerie that you would look great in

'i want to go shopping' i say then i get up and dance to 'party in the usa'

'sure sis, ill drive you' is say with a smirk on my face

'nah id rather not'

'well hows else are you going to get there, its a 20 minute drive away, plus i want to get a new phone' i say

'i want to go to target'

'sure, lets go' i say as i grab the keys to the parents lamborghini, i think "i love dad, he just has to be a CEO doesn't he"

'what ever' i say slipping in the front seat

i gun the accelerator as we go done the 10 km driveway from our mansion

i pull out my phone and start to text

'who ya texting sis?'

'Carmina'

'whos that'

'my best friend'

'nice, what ya saying'

'stuff'

'what stuff!!'

'girl stuff'

'uh ha, wat are you going to buy?'

'phone'

'really, im getting an iphone,U?'

'dont no

'right' we arrive

'thanks' i say slipping out the car

i lock the car, and secretly folow you with my camera, taking some nice snaps of your ass

i buy everything i need including a blackberry and then meet u back at the car

'lets see the bag' i say snapping my fingers and slipping the camera under the chair

'what bag?'

'your shopping bag, dah'

i hand it over

'ohhhhh, whats this' i say as i pull out the lovely red silk bra and knicker set i saw you buy earler on

i blush and grab the bag off u

'what, they look really nice'

'just drive'

'ok, ok, can i see them on you later on?'

'no just drive'

we arive home

i slip out of the car and take my bag inside and dump it in my room

you start to dress in the lingerie, you get an email with the pictures of you sleeping, with the message,"you do what i tell you to do, Your lovely brother"

'ok ok i will' i say getting dressed in a dress with the lingerie underneath

you walk out, i am making us some dinner

'what do you want me to do?'

'take off the dress'

i slip out of the dress

'wow, that looks great on those big tits, what size are they?'

36B
i blush

'very nice, did you know ive always had a crush on you'

i gasp

'what, youve never noticed, i have 1 gb of pics of you on my laptop, most are in underwear, nude, in the shower or sleeping'

'can i see?'

'sure' i plug it in to the tv and play the slideshow, 'cuddle up with me' i say

i lay my head on your lap

'you are so hot', you gasp i say 'do you like me'

'kind of'


'very good, see now we are getting somewhere, those pics you are looking at, they are going on facebook to all your friends if you dont sleep with me every night' i say

'fine'


'oh, look at the time, lets have a shower and get ready for bed, you are showering with me'

i groan then go up to the bathroom

i start to rub you with your body wash 'see, you like this' you move around and my dick goes in your pussy

i moan

'is that a good moan or a bad moan?' i ask

'good' i say washing my hair

we go to bed 'this is a single bed, to small for side to side, we sleep you on top......nude'

i shrug then let u on first

you ask if its okay to wringle, 'thats perfectly fine' i say with a smirk

i hop ontop of you and wriggle into a comfy spot

i start to stroke you

i fall asleep

so do i, we sleep in

i roll onto my side

'good morning sweetheart, today is a no school day, theres a box over there, get a condom out'

i roll off the bed and grab a condom

'put it on me' i say

i fit it onto your cock

i start to suck your boobs

i masturbate while u suck

i slip my dick in your pussy and start to hump you

i moan and rub my tits agaisnt ur chest

you are starting to enjoy it 'thats enough, you can have more tonight if you behave'

'ok ok'

'go for a walk to the deli(300 metres) nude and get some milk'

I might continue this, Questions and comments welcome

firenight
11-07-2009, 08:15 PM
wird but go on hope for more

Lovesfundares
11-07-2009, 08:23 PM
yea this is acually nice

molten man
11-10-2009, 11:01 PM
Its a little wierd and a first!! Let see how it goes!

Hamishrules
11-11-2009, 01:28 AM
Thanks for the comments, if i post more, it'll be a story(in same format), but not Role-play

Komodo Jones
11-12-2009, 09:00 AM
Hamish, ok sorry to disagree with everyone on this but quite frankly the concept is nice, but the way you deliver it, I think, needs some work. First off capitilization is a must when needed, every sentence begins with a capital letter and the word I by itself or in a contraction such as I'll is capitalized. Also don't bother with the bold and the regular font as it's not necessary, if you keep it to the format that you start a new paragraph anytime anybody says something, it wil be pretty obvious who's talking as long as you start the story with "so and so said." Also despite the fact that it is a roleplaying story, I still don't feel myself attached because it seems like you're rushing and I can't really connect with the characters. Details need to be added regardless of what kind of story and what kind of format you make it in.

Hmm
11-14-2009, 11:40 PM
Hamish, ok sorry to disagree with everyone on this but quite frankly the concept is nice, but the way you deliver it, I think, needs some work. First off capitilization is a must when needed, every sentence begins with a capital letter and the word I by itself or in a contraction such as I'll is capitalized. Also don't bother with the bold and the regular font as it's not necessary, if you keep it to the format that you start a new paragraph anytime anybody says something, it wil be pretty obvious who's talking as long as you start the story with "so and so said." Also despite the fact that it is a roleplaying story, I still don't feel myself attached because it seems like you're rushing and I can't really connect with the characters. Details need to be added regardless of what kind of story and what kind of format you make it in.

Very well put. Komodo's suggestions are how you may say, "BANG On!" :eek::D

Stormwalker22
10-21-2010, 12:34 AM
I agree with Komodo. please continue the story