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Slut Boi
11-04-2009, 12:37 AM
Standing now inside the small structure it was very easy to make the mistake it was derelict. Run down and unmaintained to such an extent that, if it wasn't for the incessant drone of cars flying by on the
nearby freeway, one could almost believe that civilization no longer existed - that this was just one of a multitude of destitute and uninhabited structures that once served to house members of a
functioning society.

This was however, not the case. The structure they now stood in was in fact very much a part of a functioning society, not a major part certainly, but a regularly used (if not maintained) building that saw
many people leave and enter its walls on any given day. That simple thought provoked not-so-simple emotions from one of the current occupants, vague notions of stagnation, of a world slowly and silently
descending back into the dark ages. The simple fact that the structure they now stood in was nothing more then a public toilet, a open facility dedicated entirely to the excretion of human waste, did little
to alleviate such thoughts.

Introspective and inquisitive as always, even under the most inappropriate circumstances (and few where as inappropriate as now), Paul made a conscious effort to bring his train of thought back to the present. It was all rather bizarre really, that his mind should linger on such existential thoughts for even a second, considering his current circumstance. You see Paul wasn't in this less then appealing building at a time most where
asleep by chance. Paul had been taken there, not against his will mind you - but considering he had no will of his own to speak of such a statement is open to deep scrutiny - by his Owner. Earlier that week Pauls Owner had promised him a night he would not forget for along time, and apparently this seedy, out of the way old bathroom was the first stop.

To be Continued...
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Well I wanna get some feedback before I continue if possible, I have lots of ideas as to where this can go and will continue very soon.

EnigmaNZ
11-04-2009, 03:09 AM
Well written, certainly a good start.

slavedareboy
11-04-2009, 03:18 AM
awesome start, makes me want to read more already. Carry on

Star Shadows
11-04-2009, 01:38 PM
Great start and amazingly written. Cant wait to read more

Master T
11-04-2009, 07:07 PM
Very nice start, please continue.

Tobias
11-05-2009, 05:37 AM
Intruiging, will definantly check back to see how things progress, hope to hear more from you soon

Slut Boi
11-09-2009, 07:24 PM
I have been busy the past week, the next part (which will also be considerably longer then the first part) will be posted later today.

Tobias
11-10-2009, 11:11 PM
Today eh? I take it you got busy or something, will check back tomorow

Slut Boi
11-15-2009, 09:19 AM
Got busy (again) and have now got my life back to normal and back to plenty of free time - next installment will be very soon.

owned
11-15-2009, 09:49 AM
definitely a good start, but i feel you are trying to hard to use big words. thats definitely better then wrighting a story using u and r instead or you and are but you dont have to use "vague notions of stagnation" and "multitude of destitute and uninhabited". I'm not saying that these are impossible words to understand I'm just saying that there are some people that wont know the meaning or them so that will take away the affect of the story on them and its just not how people talk.