his life after death(fiction)

[ramsies11]

here is my first story so please only constructive critisizam(mispelled)
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as a seriail rapist was lieing on the ground half-dead.He was wondering what the hell was going to happen to him.As he thought over the 7 deadly sins(greed,gluttony,lust,wrath,envy,pride,and sloth)as he thought over them he could only remember 6/7 of them and was not worried about the other(lust). As he thought he could die peace-fully and go to heaven,but God had other plans for him:).then he died and walked tward a bright light. then as he woke up in the clouds he heard a heavenly voice say: bob u have commited too much sin and you will be sent to hell",as God him-self said that a trap-door opened under his feet and he was plumiting to the earth.


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hey guys tell me how im doing ok?:cool::D

[Pikachu]

I am not sure where you are going to take this story but with the serial rapest bit.
Do you want me to move this story to the 18+ section?

[ramsies11]

o
sory forgot that part would u plz move it for me?

[SubMissChievous]

o
sory forgot that part would u plz move it for me?

Done :)

*This post is no longer too short*

[ramsies11]

as he fell and he was about 500ft. from the ground he heard a group of boy scouts talking about him.one said that he needed to be taken down.he was known as bob the butcher rapist.as bob rememberd his death he could only imagine what had happend: he was getting ready to chop up his victaim when they lunged at him and took his knife and sliced the heart wide open.
as he almost hit earth he braced him-self for impact,but he went to the core as he was at the bottom of the earth's core he saw a figure looming over him............it was satan god of hell and torture:cool:.
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wow im coming up with alot of ideas for this fast but im going to have to stop for a little bit(today)and i may stop if noone says much ok?:rolleyes:(im lieing

[ramsies11]

as bob was being loomed over by satan satan said "welcome to hell""now i will give u to a devil for tortue"as satan looked around he saw camron his most loyal and evil devil."camron i want you to torture bob."camron asked if he could use the upper level,and satan said use any level you want.camron later took bob to a higher level than what he was at when he met satan.then he was at a room named 'room pain'.bob gulped at reading this sign.as he walked in he saw :all differnt kinds of machines with didlido's on them,didlidos,
spanking machines and implements,a gay guy in a glass tube?,a bed with shakles welded on,anal lube,and many other things.camron said"this is now bobs tortue room,hahhahahaha!.
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tell me how im doing

[Pikachu]

It's going good but your rushing it a bit.
Maybe try slowing it down a little adding a bit more detail and such you have good ideas there unique you jsut need to address your patience a little bit.

[ramsies11]

sorry about the rushing on the story writing but my aunt and g-ma is here for a while and they'll think im a perve if they catch me

[ramsies11]

ok here it goes
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as bob was shoved inside the room the door just melted into a wall."now then" said camron,"let the torture begin".camron then walked over to a machine and told bob to strip then come over,bob did as he was commanded.then camron was told to lie down on a table and as he did giant straps came to life and he was suddenly tied to the table.then camron came over with the spankonator5000. and bob could see that there were whips attached to the machine and when camron started the machine the whips were flying at over 100mph!:eek: bob thought he was bleeding but then camron assured him that he wasnt bleeding because in hell there is no breaking the skin unless satan said so!
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here is the next installment and i hope u like it:cool:

[ramsies11]

look if nobody wants to read it then should quit

[molten man]

story is good!! just a little rushed!!

[jjjj]

is a bit rushed

(this post isn't way too short anymore weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)